2012 Billboard Top 100: #20-16

Top 20.

#20: "The Motto" by Drake feat. Lil Wayne

I am familiar with both of these artists. Drake releases about one good song a year, and Lil Wayne hasn't released a good song in several years, so this song seems pretty doomed.

Music is about what I expect from rap. Drum beat, clapping, you know the drill. Drake is not a good rapper here, at all. He sounds like a spoken word artist who has been autotuned. As for Lil Wayne, he is even worse, with random pauses in his lines.

As for the lyrics...have you heard the phrase "YOLO", or "you only live once"? This is the song that created that phrase as an excuse for being a party animal, doing marijuana and such.

I don't like this song. Neither of the artists rap well in it, and the lyrics are so immature. I know plenty of people who act like Lil Wayne and Drake do in this song in real life, and I can't stand them. That aside, the lyrics themselves are not too bad all things considered. I can't really completely hate anything that makes reference to "Baby Got Back", after all. But this song still is not very good.

Oh, and I have nothing against people who smoke marijuana. You enjoy it, it's fairly harmless, more power to you. But I don't, and what annoys me are the people who try to push me into it, and have actually said "Fuck it, man, YOLO!" when I refuse. Yes, that is a direct quote.

#19: "Drive By" by Train

Repeat artist!

Music is not that bad, albeit very Train, with a strong alt-rock sound, but a nice piano line in the bridge. For some reason, Pat Monahan's voice doesn't bug me as much in this song, maybe because he keeps his voice lower than usual for him, with only a few high notes, which compliments his voice better, in my opinion.

As for the lyrics, he is basically singing his love for the girl, saying his love is not a drive-by, which I think means he is serious and not just a bang and move on guy.

This is one of the few songs I strongly dislike solely based on the lyrics. Usually, if the rest of the song is good, I can overlook the lyrics, for the most part. Even "50 Ways To Say Goodbye" grew on me after a few listens, because the music is just catchy. Here..."A two ply Hefty bag to hold my love in"? I can overlook some bad lyrics, but these lyrics aren't even good by love song standards. Train could be pretty good, but someone else needs to write their lyrics, because Pat Monahan sucks at it.

#18: "One More Night" by Maroon 5

Repeat artist!

Music is...like an attempt to be reggae with an alt-rock drum beat, which works about as well as it sounds. As for the singing, this is far from Adam Levine's best performance.

Lyrics are basically him leaving a girl, saying that he will only be with her one more night, while admitting he has said that a lot.

I don't mean to sound overdramatic, but if this song is any indication, Maroon 5 as I know it is dead. The only part of this that even sounds remotely like Maroon 5 is Adam Levine's singing. But hey, just because it doesn't sound like Maroon 5 doesn't mean it sucks. However, the fact that the drums overpower the only unique thing the song had in the guitar, and the lyrics painting Adam Levine as a totally unapologetic womanizer who feels guilty that he sleeps with girls, does mean the song sucks.

#17: "Whistle" by Flo Rida

Yeah. I get 3 of Todd In The Shadows Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012 in a row, preceded by an honorable mention. Fuck whoever listened to this crap.

Music is not that great, with a simple guitar line and drum machine. However, that whistle is annoyingly catchy. As for the singing, it's Flo Rida. What do you think?

Now, analyzing the lyrics to a Flo Rida song is like walking up to Cthulu. However, let me leave it like this: the whistle is his penis. That should tell you what the song is like.

Even by Flo Rida standards, this song sucks. Is there anywhere it succeeds? Well, the whistle is quite catchy. The rest of the song, though...Well, first off, he is basically ripping off Lauren Bacall for the chorus. "You just put your lips together and you come real close". Even for a sex song, it fails. Blowjobs, despite the name, do not involve blowing. You are doing fellatio wrong! I'm a virgin, and I know that! Sorry for sounding crude, but if Flo Rida can get a huge hit with this song, why should I care about calling him out on it with words he'll understand?

#16: "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida

Repeat artist. Fuck.

Well, that's an interesting intro, with a guitar line. Too bad the rest of the song is standard club synth stuff. Flo Rida still can not rap with anything approaching personality.

As for the lyrics, this is a generic club song. Basically, it is about going out to the club, having a good time, and sometimes getting a good feeling.

This song is not that great for the most part. The "Oh, sometimes...I gotta good feeling" part is catchy, and gets stuck in your head, but overall, this is just another club song. However, Flo Rida does seem more in his element rapping about going out to the club rather than...the other song. Doesn't make this song good, but it's not despicable, either.

That list sucked. The next list better have a good song on it, or I'm going on a bloody rampage.

Previously: #25-21

Next: #15-11

Spoiler tags are for music videos, not reviews, silly.

I feel as though Flo Rida is trying to call me out with that first verse of "Whistle". Well Flo Rida, I don't actively like people, but they aren't bad. I also don't necessarily know what "Creep Mode" is, but I feel I know what the act of it could be. And I do happen to enjoy lesbian porn, if that's what you mean. However, Flo Rida, I'm not sure as to what you're insinuating here.

Full:
Spoiler tags are for music videos, not reviews, silly.

I feel as though Flo Rida is trying to call me out with that first verse of "Whistle". Well Flo Rida, I don't actively like people, but they aren't bad. I also don't necessarily know what "Creep Mode" is, but I feel I know what the act of it could be. And I do happen to enjoy lesbian porn, if that's what you mean. However, Flo Rida, I'm not sure as to what you're insinuating here.

Fixed. I accidentally had a spoiler= tag instead of a youtube= one. Even my typing was trying to save people from Flo Rida.

Hahaha... Whistle.. it seems like a tease to people who have never had a Beej "as buckley puts it" but yea ive never been a big fan of Floridas lyrics and mostly his music .. but sometimes a beat MAY hook me.. but he seems to like putting sex into pretty much every song he records (take Right Round also). The motto i never got at ALL! .. what a boring song in my opinion. One More Night is just a bad song... im not a Maroon 5 hater.. in fact i like some other Maroon 5 songs but One More Night has such a bad beat and such horrifically bad lyrics its just unbearable.. same with Drive By.... i did like Hey, Soul Sister and Drops of Jupiter from Train.. but nothing else i can stand!

The Motto:
Not my lifestyle choice anyhow, but even so, this was far better done by Snoop and Khalifa then Drake and Lil Wayne, who at least managed to sound like they were enjoying themselves, and had an actual song behind them, and could rap reasonably competently in it. YOLO, so I'd advise skipping this crap.

Drive By:
This could be a reasonably tolerable song, in the hands of people with some energy, and a lyricist who doens't use the "I"m feeling lucky" mode on google to complete his lines, or something. You spend most of it wanting to slap Pat Monaghan, and the beat just doesn't have any strength to it at all to groove to.

One More Night:
I don't even know where to start with this. The supposed protagonist in the lyrics is basically unlikeable with nothing to get behind. The beat is a mess of half pop rock/half reggae/all terrible. Every other line ends in what sounds like its being auto-tuned to a yodeler. The alleged band didn't even bother showing up for this video, to further hammer home that Levine's basically just keeping the name for brand recognition now.

I'm not even gonna bother with Flo Rida, its over-addressed by now.

It all goes downhill from here... good luck:-P

FFP2:
It all goes downhill from here... good luck:-P

How? The best songs of the year (fun.'s stuff, Gotye, etc.) are all ahead!

The next round isn't going to be all that bad. Sia is a song-saver.

lacktheknack:

How? The best songs of the year (fun.'s stuff, Gotye, etc.) are all ahead!

The next round isn't going to be all that bad. Sia is a song-saver.

It's mainly industry pop/rap, though there are still some good songs left:)

I have a question for the guy that does this: Do you review what's currently on the charts or what was on it when you first decided to do this?

FFP2:

lacktheknack:

How? The best songs of the year (fun.'s stuff, Gotye, etc.) are all ahead!

The next round isn't going to be all that bad. Sia is a song-saver.

It's mainly industry pop/rap, though there are still some good songs left:)

I have a question for the guy that does this: Do you review what's currently on the charts or what was on it when you first decided to do this?

I review the year-end charts. That way, I don't have to worry about songs changing in the middle of my review.

thebobmaster:

I review the year-end charts. That way, I don't have to worry about songs changing in the middle of my review.

Ahh. Thanks for clearing that up.

 

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