Ahh, Halo. The glistening symbol of the Xbox. The most well loved or hated video game of our period. What can be said that hasn't already been stated, shouted, yelled, and ignorantly ranted on about this game? Not a lot I would imagine. So I will brush away the other reviews and give my unbiased opinion of the game (yeah, I can do that sometimes).
What's wrong with this picture? Answer on the back.
So I visited my friends house, who now lives an hour away from me. Glorious catching up was had that may or may not have involved a wealth of Gin and Canadian Whiskey. Kicking our feet back I decided to ask my buddy, if I could give Halo 3 a go. This friend of mine was, to say the very least, a massive Halo fan with a library of the books and a deep knowledge of every game. If they made an 'I heart MC' I'm sure there would be one posted up on his wall right next to the 'mjolnir > HEV' one.
So we popped it in and kicked it off on Medium. I put on my best Arbiter voice and took the alien thing. Something I don't understand about the games is how the aliens learnt English. During the first Halo, if I remember correctly, the aliens were all talking in the usual scifi gibberish. In the second they started to talk English, but I assumed that was just translating for them during their own cut scenes. Now they can talk, understand and write poetry in this game with little explaining on how so. Douglas Adams managed to explain his case with the Babble Fish, during his series, but Halo 3 left me in the dark. While I sure there aren't any fish swimming around Master Chiefs helmet, it's a little confusing, how or even why they bothered to learn our language when they want to wage galactic genocide against us. Or maybe I'm thinking way too much about this.
The problem I found with Halo 3 was that, along with the talking aliens, they didn't actually explain a lot of things. What the hell was the big portal thing? Why is there a Halo ring above Earth? What's the arc? Where'd the Flood come from? Etc, etc. It's like Bungie expects us to know these things already. Unlike Half Life where the hints are subtle but enough to make a story out of events and previous happenings, I would be at a complete loss with this if I wasn't for my friend narrating every two minutes on just whatthehell was going on. Then it struck me, this is a fan game. Bungie wants you to have read up on the entire back-story or replayed the game and previous titles at least forty or so times to catch ever word. Sigh, one giant nit pluck, lets move on.
If I could tell you what's happening, I might be able to write a funny caption.
So off went Chief and the Arbiter on their magical adventure, or more likely the Chief did and I merely tagged along for the view. The game plays out like a pretty decent shooter. Combat varies between killing midgets in gas masks or fighting bears and walking suits of armour. Jumping, as in all Halo games, it ludicrous as you launch your body of the planet and basically gliding your way to your LZ. There are many driving levels, which I refused to participate in, mounting the turrets instead. For the tank however, I felt like I was doing nothing for the little machinegun I had mounted was but a pee-shooter compared to the cannon that was blasting everything to dust. The only times I really wised up and took a vehicle was the dogfights. These were fun but were too short and far to little to even warrant a mention.
Canadian Whiskey and Gin, beginning to amount in our blood levels and I enjoyed the brightly coloured textures and the ability to beat gravity in single bounds a little more. Then I found it... or perhaps it found me? I'm not quite sure, but whatever it was, it beckoned me in, closer. Its slim, long vector, stuck out from its rounded mechanical-like body in a fine form. I wrapped my little alien claws around it, feeling somewhat unworthy to hold it, picking it up gently, not to damage its fine paint. Raising the weapon in the air, I knew, that the Gravity Hammer I had just found was to crush many-a-foes skulls! Part axe, part hammer, and all fucking destruction! This baby made the game suddenly jump from "Aww, this level sucks! There's too much flood!" to ""Aww yeah, this level rocks! There's too much flood!" I would only use this weapon if the unkind, cruel developers at Bungie gave it ammunition that can't be replenished, and made few enemies actually carry it. The only great shinning star in the game and they decided to throw rocks and mud all over it to make the rest of the game not seem as bad in contrast.
Don't you just wanna kill something with it?
Few more quick little things I didn't like about the game, most likely mentioned in other reviews: A) The little robot Librarian thing. Screw off! I hated you in the first and second, now I hate you more as a boss in the third. B) Bright lights. Some rooms nearly burnt my eyes into flaming craters in my skull. C) The ending. So what? He floats around in space until Bungie decide to make Halo 4? D) Not participating in any huge battle. I wanted guns and violence on the scale of CoD. The ads made out like there were massive battle scenes, enough to make some lone guy build a model battlefield of one. But nooOoo, just mostly single halls, rooms and big fields for you to reluctantly drive around in. E) WHat the hell is everyone's relationship between a hologram? Why does she even have emotions and feel pain? F) Since when did holograms also use telepathy to slow you do and flash their picture in your head. Get out of my head I just signed up to shoot things!
And that's it. PurpleRain gives has finally played Halo3 thus ending his tragic journey throughout the game franchise. It started off well and merry, but ended up as this. Well, time to hammer on the sign, 'Fans Only' onto it because that's all I'll recommended it to. No wait, I won't. Seeing as how all the fans have bought it within the first weeks of its release, I would not recommend it to anyone else. If you really want to know how the story ends, they blow up another Halo. I'm not even sure how that ends the story... actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why that even was epic enough to end a series like this? If the universe is nothingness, then does that mean it can't be infinite? What's the meaning too it all? Why am I still typing?
MGG=REVIEWS : Really good review but i think that if you shouldn't try and compare Halo 3 against COD4 since halo was made first...eaither way good review..
I'm somewhat baffled by that comment...Just because Halo 3 came out, what, a month or 2 before COD4, we cant compare them? Interesting concept, I'll be sure to try that one out in my reviews.
Onto the review, yeah it was pretty good, I enjoyed reading through it because I felt the same way. It was like I was playing some fanboy made game and not a true sequel to the games. Oh well, good review though.
Ah, so you ended up doing it all on your own eh? I like it. Pretty big spoiler though, but I guess whoever cares about how it ends has already played it, so I'll let it slide. This time. Naw, I'm just joking around, good review.
What I like about this review is that it's in a tone that doesn't offend people, meaning it'll be the first Halo review ever without a flame war attached.
MGG=REVIEWS: Really good review but i think that if you shouldn't try and compare Halo 3 against COD4 since halo was made first...eaither way good review..
True, but I was talking more on levels of epic. CoD3 had explosions and bodies flying everywhere. That's what I was hopeing to see.
LewsTherin: i personally prefer the energy sword to the grav hammer, but thats only because the sword is so much MOAR SHIIIIIIINY!
But you can't explode people with a sword.
Larenxis: Ah, so you ended up doing it all on your own eh? I like it. Pretty big spoiler though, but I guess whoever cares about how it ends has already played it, so I'll let it slide. This time. Naw, I'm just joking around, good review.
Yeah, I decided not to partically because I didn't see it working, partically because I wanted all the glory for ME! Nah, it'd turn into some flame review. *cough*
On the subject of the spoiler, I actually found it so weak. You blow up another Halo. It's how the other two ended. As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship? But no, It's some way Bungie can satisfy both fans. The one's that wanted to see MC dead and the ones that wanted him alive in the end.
Easykill: What I like about this review is that it's in a tone that doesn't offend people, meaning it'll be the first Halo review ever without a flame war attached.
"Aww, this level sucks! There's too much flood!" to ""Aww yeah, this level rocks! There's too much flood!" Good review with a one liner to stck in my head, well dome.
Having played Halo 3 and (so far managing to keep quiet on my opinion on it) not reviewed it myself, I agree about the gravity hammer, using that was the most fun I had in the entire game. That and melee combat in general come to think of it, it was much more satisfying than the actual gunfighting.
Easykill: What I like about this review is that it's in a tone that doesn't offend people, meaning it'll be the first Halo review ever without a flame war attached.
Do I win any achievement?
Post a Review not amended by flaming or stupidity: 3000pts
review was pretty good the only thing you forget is how awesome it becomes when you are on the back of a mongoose and if you melee someone in the face the ragdoll effects are awesome.
Colton Caramihalis: you can't wright a "unbiased" review of anything. Any review is an oponion, not facct. To review a game you need to be biased.
Biased as in (anti)fanboy biased. I've seen way too many reviews either flaming Halo to the ground before pouring salt and hate onto the ashes, or praising it and sacrificing virgins to the 'Holy One'. I'd say I was a little less biased in my opinion of the game.
Darthracoon: review was pretty good the only thing you forget is how awesome it becomes when you are on the back of a mongoose and if you melee someone in the face the ragdoll effects are awesome.
The ragdolls were good, though I'm not a fan of driving in my FPS's altogether.
Anarchemitis: Post a Review not amended by flaming or stupidity: 3000pts
Yay! Put this one with the collection.
Copter400:
Darth Mobius: Yep. And I too have an affinity for playing as the Arbiter and with the Gravity Hammer...
Really? I don't like the Arbiter for one reason.
His roar. Seriously, what the fuck? Don't they have voice modifiers and whatnot at Bungie? Written down, it's something like, "Nghaaaaarrr."
It was like he was drowning in mouthwash. Ah well, he looked cooler then MC did in my opinion.
I have a question for those of you who know more about Halo than me: How the hell do Elites eat? They have that HUGE ASS GAP in their lower mouth region.
TheNecroswanson: I have a question for those of you who know more about Halo than me: How the hell do Elites eat? They have that HUGE ASS GAP in their lower mouth region.
That, my friend, is a mystery we may never solve... yeh, you'd best ask Anton; he knows a lot more than I do when it comes to Halo lore.
Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from. "Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!! Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.
Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity
Dealin Burgers: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.
Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity
Ok. Here's a little do it yourself experiment champ. Make the sound 'Oh' with your mouth. You can do it? Awesome. Notice how your mouth forms a little O? Ok. Now imagine, instead of lips you have four predator style mandibles that widen every time you open your alien cakehole. It would sound somewhat like someone choking to death. Not very conductive to clear and concise English.
Dealin Burgers: Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from. "Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!! Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.
Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity
Damn it. Does this mean I loose that achievement.
As for the comment, did you not read the review. I couldn't tell what was happening. It was barely explained. I don't hate Halo, I just found it too much like a fan made game from me to like too much.
About the talking: 'how or even why they bothered to learn our language when they want to wage galactic genocide against us.'
The thing is, I also want to know where the Flood came from. The game can't just chuck you a stray enemy without warning and expect you to cool with it.
The ship: When did it break in two? I remember them both being on it then suddenly they're not, there's two? Why didn't the two pieces land back on Earth. Was Chief portaled away or something? There are too many questions that haven't been bothered to be explained, unless, like I said, you have had to read the books and rewatch the damn thing at least 4 times to catch it all.
So basically you're helping my arguement.
Well, I guess I got futher than other Halo threads did.
TheNecroswanson: I have a question for those of you who know more about Halo than me: How the hell do Elites eat? They have that HUGE ASS GAP in their lower mouth region.
They eat through another hole... and it's not in their face.
Decoy Doctorpus: Ok. Here's a little do it yourself experiment champ. Make the sound 'Oh' with your mouth. You can do it? Awesome. Notice how your mouth forms a little O? Ok. Now imagine, instead of lips you have four predator style mandibles that widen every time you open your alien cakehole. It would sound somewhat like someone choking to death. Not very conductive to clear and concise English.
I did laugh a bt too hard. Seriously, why aren't there more of you on this planet?
Piemaster: Not a bad review, but personally I thought 343 Guilty Spark was awesome.
He's got spunk, I'll give him that, but to jump from one game to the next made me get very bored of him. Also, Guilty Spark as a boss? I don't think it worked to well in that sense.
Dealin Burgers: Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from. "Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!! Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.
Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity
Damn it. Does this mean I loose that achievement.
No. PEOPLE WHO TALK IN CAPS LIKE THIS don't deserve to have an opinion. disregard his post. (but don't disregard this one, as that bit in caps was in context)
No. PEOPLE WHO TALK IN CAPS LIKE THIS don't deserve to have an opinion. disregard his post. (but don't disregard this one, as that bit in caps was in context)
How else will I convey that I'm shouting? Besides, disregarding is reserved for off-topic posts.
And yes, you loose that achievement. Still, you're right about that speech thing. Why oh why would you learn the enemies langauge during a war? It makes no sense! That and Cortana explains in one sentence why the Chiefs in space and the Arbiter aint. There is no way to help a flawed argument.
Still, Bold hardly seems like shouting. It puts more emphasis on the word, i'll give you that, but it doesn't give the same effect as CAPITALS LETTERS. And if i wrote "This revuw r coooooocks" using giant letters made up of individual symbols and it took my 3 hours to do it, would that make it good? More effort doesn't mean better.
Ahh, Halo. The glistening symbol of the Xbox. The most well loved or hated video game of our period. What can be said that hasn't already been stated, shouted, yelled, and ignorantly ranted on about this game? Not a lot I would imagine. So I will brush away the other reviews and give my unbiased opinion of the game (yeah, I can do that sometimes).
What's wrong with this picture? Answer on the back.
So I visited my friends house, who now lives an hour away from me. Glorious catching up was had that may or may not have involved a wealth of Gin and Canadian Whiskey. Kicking our feet back I decided to ask my buddy, if I could give Halo 3 a go. This friend of mine was, to say the very least, a massive Halo fan with a library of the books and a deep knowledge of every game. If they made an 'I heart MC' I'm sure there would be one posted up on his wall right next to the 'mjolnir > HEV' one.
So we popped it in and kicked it off on Medium. I put on my best Arbiter voice and took the alien thing. Something I don't understand about the games is how the aliens learnt English. During the first Halo, if I remember correctly, the aliens were all talking in the usual scifi gibberish. In the second they started to talk English, but I assumed that was just translating for them during their own cut scenes. Now they can talk, understand and write poetry in this game with little explaining on how so. Douglas Adams managed to explain his case with the Babble Fish, during his series, but Halo 3 left me in the dark. While I sure there aren't any fish swimming around Master Chiefs helmet, it's a little confusing, how or even why they bothered to learn our language when they want to wage galactic genocide against us. Or maybe I'm thinking way too much about this.
The problem I found with Halo 3 was that, along with the talking aliens, they didn't actually explain a lot of things. What the hell was the big portal thing? Why is there a Halo ring above Earth? What's the arc? Where'd the Flood come from? Etc, etc. It's like Bungie expects us to know these things already. Unlike Half Life where the hints are subtle but enough to make a story out of events and previous happenings, I would be at a complete loss with this if I wasn't for my friend narrating every two minutes on just whatthehell was going on. Then it struck me, this is a fan game. Bungie wants you to have read up on the entire back-story or replayed the game and previous titles at least forty or so times to catch ever word. Sigh, one giant nit pluck, lets move on.
If I could tell you what's happening, I might be able to write a funny caption.
So off went Chief and the Arbiter on their magical adventure, or more likely the Chief did and I merely tagged along for the view. The game plays out like a pretty decent shooter. Combat varies between killing midgets in gas masks or fighting bears and walking suits of armour. Jumping, as in all Halo games, it ludicrous as you launch your body of the planet and basically gliding your way to your LZ. There are many driving levels, which I refused to participate in, mounting the turrets instead. For the tank however, I felt like I was doing nothing for the little machinegun I had mounted was but a pee-shooter compared to the cannon that was blasting everything to dust. The only times I really wised up and took a vehicle was the dogfights. These were fun but were too short and far to little to even warrant a mention.
Canadian Whiskey and Gin, beginning to amount in our blood levels and I enjoyed the brightly coloured textures and the ability to beat gravity in single bounds a little more. Then I found it... or perhaps it found me? I'm not quite sure, but whatever it was, it beckoned me in, closer. Its slim, long vector, stuck out from its rounded mechanical-like body in a fine form. I wrapped my little alien claws around it, feeling somewhat unworthy to hold it, picking it up gently, not to damage its fine paint. Raising the weapon in the air, I knew, that the Gravity Hammer I had just found was to crush many-a-foes skulls! Part axe, part hammer, and all fucking destruction! This baby made the game suddenly jump from "Aww, this level sucks! There's too much flood!" to ""Aww yeah, this level rocks! There's too much flood!" I would only use this weapon if the unkind, cruel developers at Bungie gave it ammunition that can't be replenished, and made few enemies actually carry it. The only great shinning star in the game and they decided to throw rocks and mud all over it to make the rest of the game not seem as bad in contrast.
Don't you just wanna kill something with it?
Few more quick little things I didn't like about the game, most likely mentioned in other reviews:
A) The little robot Librarian thing. Screw off! I hated you in the first and second, now I hate you more as a boss in the third.
B) Bright lights. Some rooms nearly burnt my eyes into flaming craters in my skull.
C) The ending. So what? He floats around in space until Bungie decide to make Halo 4?
D) Not participating in any huge battle. I wanted guns and violence on the scale of CoD. The ads made out like there were massive battle scenes, enough to make some lone guy build a model battlefield of one. But nooOoo, just mostly single halls, rooms and big fields for you to reluctantly drive around in.
E) WHat the hell is everyone's relationship between a hologram? Why does she even have emotions and feel pain?
F) Since when did holograms also use telepathy to slow you do and flash their picture in your head. Get out of my head I just signed up to shoot things!
And that's it. PurpleRain gives has finally played Halo3 thus ending his tragic journey throughout the game franchise. It started off well and merry, but ended up as this. Well, time to hammer on the sign, 'Fans Only' onto it because that's all I'll recommended it to. No wait, I won't. Seeing as how all the fans have bought it within the first weeks of its release, I would not recommend it to anyone else. If you really want to know how the story ends, they blow up another Halo. I'm not even sure how that ends the story... actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why that even was epic enough to end a series like this? If the universe is nothingness, then does that mean it can't be infinite? What's the meaning too it all? Why am I still typing?