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BANNED  Posts: 2513 Joined: 3 Dec 2008     | |
Muckraker  Posts: 321 Joined: 18 Dec 2008     |
I don't generally condone trolling of any sort, but in this case it was well done and deserved the whole "intelligent" review was horrible to read, as a fan of the franchise I don't care that he doesn't like it, not everyone does. The thing about the review was that it was just blind hatred, something I know a thing or two about. |
PROBATION  Posts: 3332 Joined: 23 Oct 2007    |
I can attest to the fact that this was not meant as an attempt at trolling or humiliation. NewClassic's done it to one of my reviews which desperately needed the attention, and even to himself - to a review which had already been published by The Escapist. User was put on probation for: Do you think you're sexually attractive?. (3 days) |
Paperboy Posts: 31 Joined: 11 Nov 2008     | I just laugh that his Intelligent Halo review was received so well, and this is the worst review i have EVER read |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 73 Joined: 10 Dec 2008    |
You either like the series to begin with or you don't. That's how it works. |
Paperboy Posts: 31 Joined: 11 Nov 2008 |
Because its good? |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2361 Joined: 14 Sep 2008     |
Is it popular because it's one of the first games which did stealth right? Or because of the massive story? Is it because the characters are very good developed and likeable? It's your opinion yes but you had almost no argument to why it's bad. If the game is too hard (and really the MGS games are actually pretty easy) or to complex for you than don't play it, choose "Easy" as your difficulty or get a walkthrough. Edit: By the way this is my favourite part in the whole review:
Games are supposed to be unreal! |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 798 Joined: 28 Dec 2008     |
If MGS is crap, what is your version of good? I mean I love how you make absolutely no effort to explain why it's bad but come on. Oh and if you do try and explain yourself please don't just give us a link to zero punctuation's Metal Gear Solid 4 Review |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1742 Joined: 5 Jun 2008    | Pretty meh, more of a rant. Seriously. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1207 Joined: 17 Oct 2008    | Pick a metal gear game and review that - by using blanket opinions you invalidate most of your points. One thing you might want to remember, if you find some holes in something great it doesnt make it crap. - Its like hitting a glacier with an icepick, yeah it might be a rather large hole but its still a frigging glacier, your going to need a lot more than that to take it down. Also, on the Fatman thing - his head is exposed and he skates, those are pretty clear weakspots and if you dont see that the title of this thread might need some editing. Edit: Going back another thing pisses me off - Looking for rations - these rations are not essential, searching around more than needed some be met with a reward. Why dont you get them at the start? Undermines many of the main concepts of the game, thats why. |
PROBATION Posts: 3332 Joined: 23 Oct 2007 |
Note that you are contending with people who have, in some cases, been published by The Escapist itself. User was put on probation for: Do you think you're sexually attractive?. (3 days) |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2381 Joined: 6 Mar 2008  |
Hmmm, perhaps I'm not taking this reviewing lark seriously enough. I thought it was just a fun place to share thoughts on games, not some kind of writing workshop. Also, if you can write to a competent standard then your reviews don't need anyone's attention. Writing more reviews will help you develop your own style and people will either like it or they won't. Taught writers always come off as dry and boring in my experience. Game reviews desperately require deconstruction rather than construction anyway since most tend to follow the tiresome "in this paragraph I will discuss the graphics" formula. There's a reason Kieron Gillen's Deus Ex review is often considered to be the only mainstream game-related writing of considerable merit. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3617 Joined: 7 Aug 2008 | First impressions, the title just screams "pompous/arrogant writer" Just a few points. |
Wordsmith Extraordinaire  Posts: 10318 Joined: 28 Nov 2007    | As a note, I was not much of a fan of the first MGS game, but lurve the third. However, Mister Steamed, going against the popular opinion does not make you intelligent in and of itself. You need to explain why you don't like a particular part. And calling the vast majority of the gaming crowd idiots while claiming you are one of the only intelligent people is not the way to get noticed. Then again, you just typed this up to be a troll, so I don't expect anything more. |
PROBATION Posts: 3332 Joined: 23 Oct 2007 |
You see, we normally don't treat this as a writing workshop, but the OP committed the unforgivable sin of being pretentious about his review. With a title like "Intelligent", you're either going to have to pull out a lot of work or else have your work disassembled by just about everybody out there. It's the reason why my "Comprehensive Reviews" used to be routinely over 2,000 words and why I unironically called a 2,500-word essay on computers a "short" essay. User was put on probation for: Do you think you're sexually attractive?. (3 days) |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1395 Joined: 27 Jul 2008  | "Intelligent"? You are so horribly wrong. And to paraphrase Yahtzee, "Too. Many. Motherfucking. WORDS!" You fail at criticism because your perpetual hating gives me the impression that you never ever advanced to the next areas without being perforated because you ran headlong into the enemy's field of view and the entire base was onto your ass. That, and MGS1 was made in the PS1 era, it was littered with what is now considered design flaws (not being able to shoot in FPV mode, no rolling, can't hold-up guards etc etc). It is automatic legendary fail for calling out the first game in a series for sucking in comparison to all the new ones (in this case the "Solid" part of the Metal Gear franchise). Whichever boss were you struggling at the most? The Pain in MGS3? For Light's sake, if you were smart enough you wouldn't go to him unless you found the shotgun then unloaded buck at him everytime his hornets were armoring him (instead of wasting your grenades with 0% accuracy). Was it the M1 Tank in MGS1? Your grenades will fly into the hatch if you aim them just right, it's ridiculously easy. What about Fatman? Equip your sensor, spray the bombs, then watch your radar as Fatman zips by and shoot him! How hard is it? All in all your review is too subjective to even be considered worthy of reading and you hated on absolutely everything so badly you are hereby condemned from these forums. Don't ever dare write any more reviews again. EVER. Especially when you are so stupid (STUPID!) as to put "intelligent" in the topic title because they most certainly aren't (this one isn't anyway). Some final notes - You are most obviously a CounterStrike fanboy who has no tolerance for stealth gameplay with this unreasonable urge to keep moving and keep shooting everything instead of patiently waiting for the enemy patrol to stop picking his nose and turn his back to you so you can move on. Legendary fail! Now I advice everyone please leave this trolltard alone and this topic locked or deleted for the sin of ignorant arrogance. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1830 Joined: 20 Mar 2008  | Aye, I'm agreeing with everyone here, the review is entirely too far from intelligent. For one, you never stop to explain exactly why it is you dislike the things you do. Furthermore, your critique seems rather arbitrary and tacked on, which is something that should never occur in a review. In fact, it really is less of a review than a rant, and a very unfair rant at that. You complain that it plays like a stealth game, a completely logical move for it seeing as it is one. You complain that the bosses are fought in the manner of a trial-and-error, develop a plan and execute it manner. Considering that most bosses, especially ones in games released around the time of MGS, were like this, this also makes no sense. You're pretty much complaining that the PS2 Stealth Game is a PS2 Stealth game; it just doesn't make any sense. I'd keep typing, but in all honesty my point is the same as everyone else's: Grow a pair, look at the game from the proper perspective, and back up your points. Oh, and pitching a fit because no one liked your review doesn't help your standing, either. People will disagree with you. Sometimes you'll suck at what you do. I believe us internet types have a word for that: Life. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 925 Joined: 3 Oct 2007  |
Because this is a rant not a review |
Paperboy Posts: 31 Joined: 11 Nov 2008 |
because there is 2 pages saying its time to give up reviewing (not in so many words) |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 464 Joined: 25 Dec 2008 | ...This is so bad, I'm not even going to dignify it with a comment. |
On the Record  Posts: 5972 Joined: 7 Feb 2008 | If you can't find anything at all to like about a massively popular game... maybe it's you? If you know more than five assholes and all... Hell you don't even make a "mileage may vary" comment. No thoughts on who (other than "idiots") might enjoy this game, and no reference to any other opinion. You just want to piss people off by telling them their favorite game/series sucks... That makes you a troll. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 859 Joined: 22 Jun 2008 |
"If you simplify your English, when you make a stupid remark its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself." -- George Orwell |
Muckraker  Posts: 320 Joined: 20 Dec 2007   | Far too long. I had to force myself to finish it. It's more of a rant about every flaw the games can offer |
BANNED  Posts: 6317 Joined: 29 Nov 2007   |
It was a conjecture because it wasn't true. Having played through MGS1,2, and 4 on the second to last difficulty I have never myself, nor heard of anyone being spotted while simply trying to approach a wall. User was banned for: The hypocrisy is KILLING me.. (Permanent) |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 962 Joined: 6 Aug 2008  | Sorry, but i cant be bothered to read your review after you wrote:
No good reviewer starts off by insulting a game. That comes later. First you start off with a generalized statement to introduce the game. Give an overview of the story and then review the gameplay, level design, ridicule the problems and then give your opinion. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1077 Joined: 26 Apr 2008  |
Agreed. I'd be glad to have NewClassic annotate one of my pieces. It'd give me a good outsiders view of how my writing sounds. It's a sort of "being cruel to be kind" thing. Your review reads a lot more like rant on your disappointment with the game. Also, to me, it is obscenely long and mostly of it is waffle. My advice would be cut it down, back up your points, check again for unnecessary parts and cut them out, check that it reads out well, check your spelling, grammar and punctuation and then think about posting it, as it's in a rather raw state at the moment. Take a step back, and try again. |
Beat Writer Posts: 144 Joined: 27 Oct 2008  | I have never before received such unanimously negative feedback for any of my writing, so I had another look through my review just to check. While the delivery is slightly awkward at times, it is a good analysis of the gameplay and if you guys can't see that then god help you. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 887 Joined: 9 Jan 2008 | "Often the player has to pass through a door into a room with guards walking around in their set paths. The guard patrolling the area near the door may or may not be at a point in their path where they will see the player the moment they enter the room. The player will then have to run away or quickly take the guard out before calls for reinforcements. Either way, the result is very un-elegant and makes me feel very un-confident in the game's design. If it isn't going to give you a means of checking what's going on behind the closed door before you pass through (which it probably shouldn't, since peeking through with your bendy camera in games like Splinter Cell, and waiting patiently for a guard to walk away, is not fun)" I really don't understand. If you see a problem, and you can address solution, but the solution is just as bad as the problem, then why mention it AT ALL!? This "intelligent" Review just leads me to believe that you had a poor expectation of the series before you started playing it. Then when you gave it no patients and an unwillingness to learn the basics, you sucked horribly at it. Now you are releasing steam. The review was poorly structured, and it looks like you took a lot of your grammatical ideas from MS Word's Spell Checker. It wasn't fun to read, Partley because you started off with a poor, uneeded, unbacked, bold statment and it only got worse. It bored me, there was no urge to continue reading other than to find more mistakes in your delusions. You could have at least tried to make us laugh. This is coming from someone who is incredibly disappointed with the Metal Gear Solid series (especailly with 4). So any retort such as "Kojima Brown noser" or "Metal Gear Fan Boy" can fuck off. |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 887 Joined: 9 Jan 2008 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Much Respect. That made me laugh ridiculously. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 671 Joined: 29 Dec 2008  |
Best joke I've seen on here yet. |
Paperboy  Posts: 26 Joined: 16 Dec 2008  | You just cant blatantly attack a game just because it isn't to your liking. Many people throughly enjoyed the metal gear series due to the story and movie like cut scenes building up to a new level of gaming story telling. That is where the games strength lies. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3415 Joined: 28 Jun 2008 |
You should've been around for taxi driver. He was hysterical (to me, at least.). As for the review, I read the first two paragraphs then decided it was too long and boring. Long words do not equal intelligence. Good reviews need to be entertaining as well as informative. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 115 Joined: 20 Apr 2008  | um...This dosent really seem like a review. It is more like a one sided bashing of the series and like all these other people said, long words do not equal intelligence. Also you claim controls were clunky? Well, when I played I had no problems at all. |
Paperboy Posts: 31 Joined: 11 Nov 2008 | it seems he may now have a bad rep. I cant wait to read his next intelligent review |
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I agree with this point here. I've never played the game but it appears that it is well reviewed and it appears that this review is labelled as "intelligent" because it doesn't like the game. While this is not necessarily true, it is no way in the wrong for providing a subjective opinion, all reviews ever are subjective. The only thing you could say about a game from an objective stand-point is: It is a game.