Awesome. V funny and truthful to boot! :) L. Wrex | |
This review has prompted me to play Solitaire for the first time in years. I'm not sure whether to thank you or curse you for it. Either way, pretty excellent review there, and I never thought I'd be saying that about a review of card game. | |
Do I sense some possible inspiration for another review of Minesweeper? Well written and well-paced review. The images divide it up nicely enough so that it isn't at all overwhelming. I find its just on the funny side of ageist, though. | |
Oh, do spider solitaire next. that game makes me unbeleavebly mad. | |
Two thumbs up! As well as two big toes! | |
I love spider solitaire. | |
That was a very fun review, BT. So very, very true. | |
Awesome review. Oh how many hours I wasted at work/school playing computer Solitaire... ...then I discovered Freecell. Freecell pwns Solitaire! | |
hahaha great review, love the rant on annoyingness since its so fucking true. | |
Well written, whimsical, and rather amusing. Win indeed. | |
Possibly the most creative review I've seen in a while. Review Minesweeper or Hearts next. | |
Whimsical, amusing, and otherwise funny. You've got me a little confused, though. This isn't a review so much as it is "A Solitaire Experience with Baby Tea!" You don't mention the gameplay or the features. (Not really, at least.) You talk about the people around you, and the things people do. It's a short story of "My Solitaire Experience," not "The gameplay and technical merits of Solitaire." Experiences can be an important part of the gameplay experience, but if you don't handle the core, then you're missing the boat. I think it's a great piece of writing, not too unlike FeNinja's Commander Keen Review. The thing is, it's not much of a review. Good narrative. Bad review. So, not a bad piece, just... Missing the core element. Although with a joke piece like this, the core element is hard. I'd say work at it none the less. There's opportunity for greatness... I just feel like I missed it somewhere along the way. | |
Oh so true, I see my Grampa play this all the time. | |
Awesome, very funny. Like everyone else, I'd love to see a Minesweeper review in the same vein, or maybe Calculator. | |
ha, nice review. I often found (note past tense0 that while i was playing solitaire with all my skill i was in a situation where there was no apparent way to progress further, causing me to sadly press the New Game key :( Ah for the Intricacies of Card games! | |
Extra Punctuation
MovieBob: Intermission
Experienced Points
First Person
Miracle of Sound: Encore
Exploding Barrels
Loading Time
No Right Explanation
Backchat
Drinking Games
Escape to the Movies
Escapecraft
Escapist Podcast
Feed Dump
GinxTV
Jimquisition
LoadingReadyRun
Mahalo
Meatbag and Co
Media Sandwich
Miracle of Sound
No Right Answer
Pro-Gamer Gauntlet
Reviews
Space Janitors
Tales from the Table
The Big Picture
The Escapist Presents
The Retro Show
Trailers
Unskippable
Zero Punctuation
Max Payne 3 Review
Company of Heroes 2
XCOM Enemy Unknown
Black Ops 2
Diablo 3 Review
TERA Review
Firefall Beta Preview
Starhawk Review
Critical Miss
Name Game
Solitaire - A 'first' review
Many have asked me, and by 'many' I mean 'no one', "Baby Tea, why would you review Solitaire, a free game that comes with Windows?"
To which I replied, or would reply if anyone actually asked, "because."
Solitaire may look unassuming, boring, and even mildly frustrating on the surface, and it is. But let's really look this little gem that distracts thousands of senior citizens every day who were just trying to find a way to email their grandchildren, but stumbled upon 'that card thing' instead.
The beauty about Solitaire, is that it doesn't really lie to you. It is what it is. You don't have to pick up the game box (Windows box?) and wonder if they are truly serious about the "8 different decks of cards" or the "Vegas" mode, so you can "See how much of your life savings would be gone if this was real money". No false advertising here: Solitaire is Solitaire. But is it good?
The point of the game is to place all the cards of the same suit, in order, from ace to king in little piles. Sound simple? Well it would be as easy as playing 52 card pick up by throwing the cards down still in the box, except there are a few problems!
The biggest of these problems being any person around you being drawn into watching you play, and pointing at the screen and telling you where to put the freaking cards. Solitaire isn't a multiplayer game by nature, but I think Microsoft knew what they were unleashing when they made this game: A way for interns, family members, and fellow employees to reach staggering new heights of 'annoyingness'. Anyone, who is watching you, is better than you and knows where the cards go. You have to listen to them, otherwise when you lose, and you will lose, it'll be because you didn't listen to their all-knowing advice.
I am convinced that, after the release of Solitaire, homicide rates increased exponentially around the globe. No other game has made we want to punch my own grandmother in the face just because she said "Put that Jack there! No no, not there! Well now you're gong to lose!"
Can you truly 'win' at Solitaire? For those of us who have seen the elusive win sequence which is a bunch of stupid bouncing cards for all your hard work and wasted time, you can bet that you don't feel like you've won anything; Especially when the mail-room guy is bleeding from his ears on the ground next to your desk because he wouldn't shut up about that stupid 9 of hearts (I told Keith to go away, but he wouldn't listen).
So what do you do with Solitaire? Delete it? Ignore it? Or succumb to its siren song?
I'd say leave it for grandma or grandpa to stumble upon. In the hands of a younger crowd, it'll only divide families, friends, and co-workers, but in the hands of an experienced, aged and feeble person or family member? They, at least, can't do too much damage when you're yelling at them to move that 4 of clubs to the other red 5.
"C'MON GRANDMA! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!"
--Baby Tea
(Thanks for the editing, Wilson!)