God of War 3 Review

God of War 3 REVIEW

God of War 3, is at the top of my list for favorite games and has been reviewed into the ground. "Why, Epyc Wynn, would you review this pandered normie-tier gaming" you might ask. Besides the fact your elitist lingo disgusts me, I will give you the perfect retort: felt like it. Who reviews what they do not feel like reviewing? People who are paid to have no souls that is who.

God of War 3 follows the story of Kratos, the wet dream of edgelords and the only being I love as much as Bernie Sanders and Root Beer Milk (I am accept you may be offended about my political favoring of root beer milk). In PS3 graphics he looks breathtaking and the PS4 remastered version absolutely grills you with the amazing looks of the angry grey black Spartan man with a red spiral tattoo. A game about a vengeful man/demigod/god/titan/embodiment of chaos (there is a grey area here), it is hard to bore a player with a plot based around a guy like that set on murdering every god, titan and demon that incurs his wrath or stops him from killing his father


Spoiler: He likes to yell angrily.

And that is what is so amazing about the game. With the sheer scope of an idea like that there is every chance to fail and let the player down. The game-play is the absolute pinnacle of the hack-and-slash style with responsive combos that will remind you of its predecessors God of War and Bayonetta which I am 99% sure is just the alternate reality where Kratos is a woman with guns. The addition of the bow combined with the golden fleece you got in God of War 2: Cancer Edition (mind GoW2 was absolutely tedious to beat on God difficulty) made God of War 3 much easier to beat. But, the game is still incredibly difficult and will require continual growth as a player in order to master the controls necessary to beating the game though I did beat it on God difficulty the first time through. If you hate yourself, replay the game on Titan difficulty; you will have a grand time. As a foreword, if you have not beaten God of War and God of War 2, the gameplay and its story will be much harder to master and follow as it picks up right where God of War 2 left off and the first 'level' is hard. That is correct: the first level in the game, is hard.

The whole game is one big map between Olympus, The Labyrinth, and Hades and everything transitions fluidly between locations in these three main areas. When you play this game you can tell they took advantage of everything inside the original Play Station 3 version to make this game look so ludicrously crisp yet gargantuan in scope with these giant titans and gods and moving locations all pushing the graphical chips to their limits. At times it reminded me of Shadow of the Colossus with how epic the fights (especially with Chronos) are in these massive locations.

The audio was masterfully crafted. With the heavy double bass theme it is hard to not immediately feel ready to destroy the Gods of Olympus at any cost including the complete destruction of humanity which does happen because of Kratos killing the gods that keep the world in balance; live free or die am I right? The game swings between eerie calming sounds and fighting themes which matches the pattern of the game switching focus between beautiful locations/puzzles and annihilating all bosses/enemies which stand in your wake. I cannot speak quite as highly of the puzzles, as nothing really left me pondering for very long and I was always able to figure them out relatively quick. Compared to the original God of War, the puzzles are definitely a step down. Other than that there are no real flaws I can point out about the game.

I am hopeful God of War: A New Beginning (title pending) will be able to follow in the footsteps of this predecessor. God of War 3 was a masterpiece and established Kratos as deserving of his continued status as a flagship icon for the Sony franchise. I look forward to him conquering the Nordic pantheon and learning how it will tie into his backstory with Greece.

God of War 3 gets my Escapist rating of: A delicious stream of root beer milk guarded by Bernie Sanders.

Epyc Wynn:

God of War 3 gets my Escapist rating of: A delicious stream of root beer milk guarded by Bernie Sanders.

Yes, but is there a cherry on top?
My own vote: yes. I think you are correct. This game is beautiful, epic, great gameplay, set pieces, puzzles and a fever dream story that was so much fun.
Other G-d of War games have been fun too but this swings for the fences.
I look forward to the next one.


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