Let me just begin by saying this movie isn't as bad as you expected. It is far far worse. Fans of the Dragonball universe are strongly advised not to see this unless they want their childhood raped with a fist full of nails. Hell, even people who have never heard of dragon ball are discouraged to go because I think this movie can somehow give you post traumatic stress syndrome, judging by the wailing and gnashing of teeth evident in all that see it. This is literally the Arc of the Covent in movie form, in that it causes faces to melt and flesh to burn at its very sight. But enough of my babbling, lets get to exactly why this movie is such a mistake of god.
Firstly, lets look at the actual story line, if you want to call it that. It gives the impression that someone wrote the script after skimming a wikipedia article about the subject matter. Yes, your favorite characters are all there, Goku, Chichi, Bulma, yamcha, master rochi and Picillo, but they're in bizarre live action interpretations of the original characters. Goku looks like the bastard child of Frodo and Edward Cullen and has this delightful habit of going completely emo at random times. Chichi is just some generic Asian chick, bulma has a singe strand of blue hair and resembles Lara Croft a great deal more then the original character, complete with dual pistols and mindless aggression. Yamcha is just a surfer dude the find in the desert, rochi is a distressingly young asian guy with little personality and Picillo looks like a black man smeared in green paint. Now this weird warping of characters could be expectable, as the original forms in live action would be even more ridiculous. The problem is that, not only are the characters appearances wrong, but their setting and personalities are completely off as well.
In the beginning, we see Goku going through high school, being bullied, and fantasizing about chichi eating fruit. I kid you fucking not, he literally sits there and daydreams about Chichi eating fruit. Later he helps her open her locker using what they call "Kai". Now in the original series "Kai" was the energy that the characters used to hurl balls of energy around, but in this bastardization not only do they mispronounce it as "Key" the entire time, but its been relegated to ripped off force powers. Goku literally holds his hand up like he's force pushing someone and all the lockers fly open. Seeing this display of Jedi prowess, Chichi invites Goku to a party she's having that night. Its about now you being wondering when the fuck dragon ball became a high school movie. Well, Goku goes to the party, abandoning his grandpa (still alive for some reason) and trounces some bullies. While he's doing this picillo attacks grandpa and force chokes him. I'm not kidding, he literally does the straight Darth Vader force choke. Goku, sensing a disturbance in the force (that's not a witty segue, he literally senses something wrong.) and rushes back to find grandpa crushed under a house. After burying Grandpa in the backyard (seriously), bulma comes in shooting like a PMSing duke nukem. Retarded dialogue ensues and the pair decided to go after the dragon balls together. Goku however needs to find master rochi first. They find the turtle hermit in what looks like the home from Full House floating in the middle of a bay. The two end up fighting, Rochi recites a poem about the dragon balls while dancing and then promises to teach Goku air bending. You see that last sentence? Everything in that sentence is completely true, none of it is me trying to be funny. Rochi actually says he'll teach Goku air bending. More shit happens, they find yamcha, picillo uses his blood to create what look like LOTR Orks and this is when I shut this shit off.
I honestly could not sit through more of this, it is that bad. Its so stupid I actually had to face palm and cover my eyes just to avoid it on several occasions. It actually makes the resent street fighter movie look capable. It is just a mishmash rip off of every popular idea the creators could think of and most of the time they don't even attempt to hide their blatant theft of intellectual property. This is what would happen if George Lucas fucked an 11 year old Pilipino girl, aborted her fetus with razor wire, vomited on it and duct taped the remains of the abortion to a movie screen then forced you to stare at it for an hour and a half.
0/10 Recommendation : burn down any theater showing this film, for the good of the children.
invitationofchaos: a.the movie is out already? b. why did they make us shoot our childhood in the balls? c.kill everyone at fox studios that ok'd this tripe
It was released in Hong Kong and Japan last Friday. It won't come to the US or UK until April 8.
Just looked at the Wikipedia article, and it says the budget is over $100 million! Based on your review, it obviously went into the special effects and nothing else.
This movie suffers from the "Nintendo effect" they made this movie to please all the mainstream fuckwits and leave us hrdcore DBZ fans to rot in the gutter
Piecewise: Let me just begin by saying this movie isn't as bad as you expected. It is far far worse. Fans of the Dragonball universe are strongly advised not to see this unless they want their childhood raped with a fist full of nails. Hell, even people who have never heard of dragon ball are discouraged to go because I think this movie can somehow give you post traumatic stress syndrome, judging by the wailing and gnashing of teeth evident in all that see it. This is literally the Arc of the Covent in movie form, in that it causes faces to melt and flesh to burn at its very sight. But enough of my babbling, lets get to exactly why this movie is such a mistake of god.
Firstly, lets look at the actual story line, if you want to call it that. It gives the impression that someone wrote the script after skimming a wikipedia article about the subject matter. Yes, your favorite characters are all there, Goku, Chichi, Bulma, yamcha, master rochi and Picillo, but they're in bizarre live action interpretations of the original characters. Goku looks like the bastard child of Frodo and Edward Cullen and has this delightful habit of going completely emo at random times. Chichi is just some generic Asian chick, bulma has a singe strand of blue hair and resembles Lara Croft a great deal more then the original character, complete with dual pistols and mindless aggression. Yamcha is just a surfer dude the find in the desert, rochi is a distressingly young asian guy with little personality and Picillo looks like a black man smeared in green paint. Now this weird warping of characters could be expectable, as the original forms in live action would be even more ridiculous. The problem is that, not only are the characters appearances wrong, but their setting and personalities are completely off as well.
In the beginning, we see Goku going through high school, being bullied, and fantasizing about chichi eating fruit. I kid you fucking not, he literally sits there and daydreams about Chichi eating fruit. Later he helps her open her locker using what they call "Kai". Now in the original series "Kai" was the energy that the characters used to hurl balls of energy around, but in this bastardization not only do they mispronounce it as "Key" the entire time, but its been relegated to ripped off force powers. Goku literally holds his hand up like he's force pushing someone and all the lockers fly open. Seeing this display of Jedi prowess, Chichi invites Goku to a party she's having that night. Its about now you being wondering when the fuck dragon ball became a high school movie. Well, Goku goes to the party, abandoning his grandpa (still alive for some reason) and trounces some bullies. While he's doing this picillo attacks grandpa and force chokes him. I'm not kidding, he literally does the straight Darth Vader force choke. Goku, sensing a disturbance in the force (that's not a witty segue, he literally senses something wrong.) and rushes back to find grandpa crushed under a house. After burying Grandpa in the backyard (seriously), bulma comes in shooting like a PMSing duke nukem. Retarded dialogue ensues and the pair decided to go after the dragon balls together. Goku however needs to find master rochi first. They find the turtle hermit in what looks like the home from Full House floating in the middle of a bay. The two end up fighting, Rochi recites a poem about the dragon balls while dancing and then promises to teach Goku air bending. You see that last sentence? Everything in that sentence is completely true, none of it is me trying to be funny. Rochi actually says he'll teach Goku air bending. More shit happens, they find yamcha, picillo uses his blood to create what look like LOTR Orks and this is when I shut this shit off.
I honestly could not sit through more of this, it is that bad. Its so stupid I actually had to face palm and cover my eyes just to avoid it on several occasions. It actually makes the resent street fighter movie look capable. It is just a mishmash rip off of every popular idea the creators could think of and most of the time they don't even attempt to hide their blatant theft of intellectual property. This is what would happen if George Lucas fucked an 11 year old Pilipino girl, aborted her fetus with razor wire, vomited on it and duct taped the remains of the abortion to a movie screen then forced you to stare at it for an hour and a half.
0/10 Recommendation : burn down any theater showing this film, for the good of the children.
Ah. I was expecting it to be so bad, it was funny.
Zetona: Just looked at the Wikipedia article, and it says the budget is over $100 million! Based on your review, it obviously went into the special effects and nothing else.
Yeah but it should've been over 9000.
I was pissed as soon as it started parading as the fun loving Dragonball series but without the child element, or Krillin! What the fuck! he's one of the best characters!.(And don't tell me lacking a nose is that hard with today's tech)
Oh my, I was never a huge fan of DBZ but that just sounds so wrong in every way. Hopefully they never get around to making a live action Eureka 7 movie(if they are don't tell me, I want to remain blissfully ignorant).
I kid you fucking not, he literally sits there and daydreams about Chichi eating fruit. Later he helps her open her locker using what they call "Kai". Now in the original series "Kai" was the energy that the characters used to hurl balls of energy around, but in this bastardization not only do they mispronounce it as "Key" the entire time, but its been relegated to ripped off force powers.
Actually, "key" is the correct pronunciation of Ki. "i" in Japanese is always pronounced with the "ee" sound.
Other than that, the movie is apocalyptically bad.
Sad...And not having Master Roshi not being a old pervert that lives in a island in the middle of the ocean is like having Lord of the Rings trilogy without the ring.
I originally told myself I would simply watch a pirated version online so the theaters and FOX don't see one red cent from me. Now, I don't want to watch it even for free.
Evolution all right...if you think turning something great into a pile of vomit is evolution.
Gamer137: I originally told myself I would simply watch a pirated version online so the theaters and FOX don't see one red cent from me. Now, I don't want to watch it even for free.
Evolution all right...if you think turning something great into a pile of vomit is evolution.
You went into this movie all wrong: You thought that it was serious.
For shame!
This movie was made as a standard setter. You see, most movies are made to try and raise the bar, while this was actually made in order to let other movies know just how low it goes.
I wish Mystery Science Theatre 3k would assassinate this movie, though sadly, it won't happen.
I never really liked DBZ, too much time waiting for something to happen. I'm going to have to see this movie now though after all the trash I've heard about it. *grin*
Ravenlute: I never really liked DBZ, too much time waiting for something to happen. I'm going to have to see this movie now though after all the trash I've heard about it. *grin*
You even attempt it and we'll collectively garotte you before you set a single foot in the cinema/theatre.
I expected garbage, and nearly got feral reading your review.
AIR BENDING? REALLY FOX?? REALLY??
Someone actually has to be killed for this, and I'm not even joking. And I've got thirty quid on a live action Thundercats movie next.
invitationofchaos: a.the movie is out already? b. why did they make us shoot our childhood in the balls? c.kill everyone at fox studios that ok'd this tripe
Gamer137: I originally told myself I would simply watch a pirated version online so the theaters and FOX don't see one red cent from me. Now, I don't want to watch it even for free.
Evolution all right...if you think turning something great into a pile of vomit is evolution.
Gamer137: I originally told myself I would simply watch a pirated version online so the theaters and FOX don't see one red cent from me. Now, I don't want to watch it even for free.
Evolution all right...if you think turning something great into a pile of vomit is evolution.
Hm...The only reason I'm glad that it's bad is so that I could make a good one some day.
Anyway, I always had hopes for this movie when I heard about it back in seventh grade(2002). But seeing a trailer back in December made me resent liking DB and DBZ. Just seeing how everything I love is bastardized...I...I, can't think of what to say.
I'm still gonna see it one way or another. Just so then I can complain about it.
What a surprise. Next you'll be telling me the live-action Cowboy Bebop movie isn't good.
That said, your review has numerous grammatical and tense errors. If you tightened that stuff up, it'd be easier for me and others to read. Also, am I the only one who was completely disgusted by your comparison at the end? I'm sure it's a horrible movie, but... Yuck.
What does make me sad is the recent "anime to live-action" movie trend. A Battle Angel movie has been in the works for a long time, but now I'm starting to think it'll just be another Dragon Ball, and I couldn't take that combined with the "no way it's gonna be even decent" Cowboy Bebop movie.
Two of my favorite things are about to be ruined... NO!
Now all they need to do is make live action movies out of Monster, Ghost in the Shell, RahXephon, Blade of the Immortal and Hunter X Hunter in order to drive me to either suicide or mass murder.
Samurai Goomba: What a surprise. Next you'll be telling me the live-action Cowboy Bebop movie isn't good.
That said, your review has numerous grammatical and tense errors. If you tightened that stuff up, it'd be easier for me and others to read. Also, am I the only one who was completely disgusted by your comparison at the end? I'm sure it's a horrible movie, but... Yuck.
What does make me sad is the recent "anime to live-action" movie trend. A Battle Angel movie has been in the works for a long time, but now I'm starting to think it'll just be another Dragon Ball, and I couldn't take that combined with the "no way it's gonna be even decent" Cowboy Bebop movie.
Two of my favorite things are about to be ruined... NO!
Now all they need to do is make live action movies out of Monster, Ghost in the Shell, RahXephon, Blade of the Immortal and Hunter X Hunter in order to drive me to either suicide or mass murder.
I think ghost in the shell is coming.
Also I don't care about tense or grammar for a quick review I wrote while watching tv
Ok, I'll use a different comparison at the end next time. Bestiality good?
THIS REVEW MAKES ME WANT TO OWN IT ON DVD!!! I cant wait for it to come out in the cinima :D SERIOUSLY!!! its going to be brillaint. Hope fully its as good as dead or alive, or supermaro or sharks in venice.
Samurai Goomba: What a surprise. Next you'll be telling me the live-action Cowboy Bebop movie isn't good.
That said, your review has numerous grammatical and tense errors. If you tightened that stuff up, it'd be easier for me and others to read. Also, am I the only one who was completely disgusted by your comparison at the end? I'm sure it's a horrible movie, but... Yuck.
What does make me sad is the recent "anime to live-action" movie trend. A Battle Angel movie has been in the works for a long time, but now I'm starting to think it'll just be another Dragon Ball, and I couldn't take that combined with the "no way it's gonna be even decent" Cowboy Bebop movie.
Two of my favorite things are about to be ruined... NO!
Now all they need to do is make live action movies out of Monster, Ghost in the Shell, RahXephon, Blade of the Immortal and Hunter X Hunter in order to drive me to either suicide or mass murder.
I think ghost in the shell is coming.
Also I don't care about tense or grammar for a quick review I wrote while watching tv
Ok, I'll use a different comparison at the end next time. Bestiality good?
Ghost in a shell is happening. They have a script and are casting soon. I wont be suprised if uma therman or how ever you spell her name will be taking the leading role.
Let me just begin by saying this movie isn't as bad as you expected. It is far far worse. Fans of the Dragonball universe are strongly advised not to see this unless they want their childhood raped with a fist full of nails. Hell, even people who have never heard of dragon ball are discouraged to go because I think this movie can somehow give you post traumatic stress syndrome, judging by the wailing and gnashing of teeth evident in all that see it. This is literally the Arc of the Covent in movie form, in that it causes faces to melt and flesh to burn at its very sight. But enough of my babbling, lets get to exactly why this movie is such a mistake of god.
Firstly, lets look at the actual story line, if you want to call it that. It gives the impression that someone wrote the script after skimming a wikipedia article about the subject matter. Yes, your favorite characters are all there, Goku, Chichi, Bulma, yamcha, master rochi and Picillo, but they're in bizarre live action interpretations of the original characters. Goku looks like the bastard child of Frodo and Edward Cullen and has this delightful habit of going completely emo at random times. Chichi is just some generic Asian chick, bulma has a singe strand of blue hair and resembles Lara Croft a great deal more then the original character, complete with dual pistols and mindless aggression. Yamcha is just a surfer dude the find in the desert, rochi is a distressingly young asian guy with little personality and Picillo looks like a black man smeared in green paint. Now this weird warping of characters could be expectable, as the original forms in live action would be even more ridiculous. The problem is that, not only are the characters appearances wrong, but their setting and personalities are completely off as well.
In the beginning, we see Goku going through high school, being bullied, and fantasizing about chichi eating fruit. I kid you fucking not, he literally sits there and daydreams about Chichi eating fruit. Later he helps her open her locker using what they call "Kai". Now in the original series "Kai" was the energy that the characters used to hurl balls of energy around, but in this bastardization not only do they mispronounce it as "Key" the entire time, but its been relegated to ripped off force powers. Goku literally holds his hand up like he's force pushing someone and all the lockers fly open. Seeing this display of Jedi prowess, Chichi invites Goku to a party she's having that night. Its about now you being wondering when the fuck dragon ball became a high school movie. Well, Goku goes to the party, abandoning his grandpa (still alive for some reason) and trounces some bullies. While he's doing this picillo attacks grandpa and force chokes him. I'm not kidding, he literally does the straight Darth Vader force choke. Goku, sensing a disturbance in the force (that's not a witty segue, he literally senses something wrong.) and rushes back to find grandpa crushed under a house. After burying Grandpa in the backyard (seriously), bulma comes in shooting like a PMSing duke nukem. Retarded dialogue ensues and the pair decided to go after the dragon balls together. Goku however needs to find master rochi first. They find the turtle hermit in what looks like the home from Full House floating in the middle of a bay. The two end up fighting, Rochi recites a poem about the dragon balls while dancing and then promises to teach Goku air bending. You see that last sentence? Everything in that sentence is completely true, none of it is me trying to be funny. Rochi actually says he'll teach Goku air bending. More shit happens, they find yamcha, picillo uses his blood to create what look like LOTR Orks and this is when I shut this shit off.
I honestly could not sit through more of this, it is that bad. Its so stupid I actually had to face palm and cover my eyes just to avoid it on several occasions. It actually makes the resent street fighter movie look capable. It is just a mishmash rip off of every popular idea the creators could think of and most of the time they don't even attempt to hide their blatant theft of intellectual property. This is what would happen if George Lucas fucked an 11 year old Pilipino girl, aborted her fetus with razor wire, vomited on it and duct taped the remains of the abortion to a movie screen then forced you to stare at it for an hour and a half.
0/10
Recommendation : burn down any theater showing this film, for the good of the children.