Anyone who's seen Mock the Week here in England will know how this game works. The aim is purely to come up with a humourous scene that would never, but should happen.

If yours is the 36th, or 71st, or 106th post (might be ambitious, but who knows), please put a new subject.

For those unfamiliar with the show, this is the basic idea http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Fk7MFHd1U

First one is: What the spokesman of a major gaming hardware company would never say.

Our new hardware device will be sure to bring pleasure to nerds all over the globe!

If you buy it now, it'll be compatible with nothing til next year

our console is worse then the one of our competitor

This is the newest version of exactly the same product you have in front of your TV. It's exactly the same as the last one but this one has racing stripes!

You won't find anything more faulty!

Whilst we here at Nintendo strive for energy effiency, we highly recommend switching off all other lights and household appliances whilst your Wii is in use.

((I know Sega doesn't really count as a gaming hardware company but...))

We have decided to stop making Sonic games.

Are you paying too much for your car insura- Oh wait, this is the console one isn't it.

our new consoles contain modchips so you don't have to track down shops that chip you're console

We have ensured that this time around, you WILL be able to fix the spontaneous combustion problem.

Are you paying too much for your console insurance?

This graphics card is the shit!

Now introducing The PS Wii 360!

It's a game made by me, Jimmy, with music by Shawoddy-woddy.

goverment approved

OnLive is set to deliver the latest games straight to your TV without all the expensive PC upgrades. Those of you in Britain, however, will be lucky to load up a video of a sneezing panda

"This isn't the worst product on the market. It's not the best, but I'm pretty sure there's something worse out there. Maybe in Tajikistan?"

"Macintosh is the way forward!"

Wait, you're actually interested in buying this?

scrap-metal needed!
no brains required
want a job?

Things that a trucker would never say.

You'll never get a more exciting sleep off the road!

want to look in ma freeeeeeezzzeeeeeeerr

I don't care what anyone thinks okay the Jonas Brothers are a good band!...

And Nick is sooooooo good looking...

On the power down the back straight, 3rd gear through the hairpin, back on the power, late brake for turn 4

etc

Yeah Ok, change of topic. But just to make it clearer to people browsing.

Things a trucker would never say

Of course, I'm just doing this until I finish my novel...

Don't worry. I've done this loads of times on Need for Speed.

When I'm not travelling about, I often find pleasure in reading the Bible and listening to classical music. Whilst contemplating philosophy I learned at Oxford University. And smoking a pipe.

What am I hauling? A tonne of mahogony, 200 industrial woodsaws, and seven Middle Eastern men disguised as dead hookers.

yeah i usually drive with my feet

Seriously, at the time, i Really did think that there was another lane, it was just a bit grassy...
(How do you do italics? xD)

"Honestly officer i thought that these things drive themselves!

How am i supposed to tell apart autocruise from autopilot?"

Hi, I'm James May.

'We just thought we'd let these code monkeys get on with it without interfering.'

or in the case or Empire Total War

'We paid a hell of a lot for those reviews so they better be good.'

this truck is eco-friendly!! - just ignore all the blood splatters