Scenes We'd Like to See (Mock the Week)

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So I hear you can regenerate from anything, Jack? That's good, because I'm into S&M!

Actually, you probably would hear that.

"How... does this have ANY BEARING... on the last episode?"
"Uh, I dunno, setting?"
"Good enough for me!"

Gwen, this may shock you a little bit, but your accent's annoying. So shut the fuck up!

"Um Gwen, what show am I shooting again?"

Jack, you're pregnant.

I think that we've sufficiently ran this one into the ground.

Winner:

Clarkarius:
Tosh regretted her relationship with Owen after she was arrested for Necrophillia

May be the worst line you've ever posted but it's by far the funniest of the topic.

New topic:

Things You Wouldn't See On Dragons' Den

(Repost in bold. If someone could teach me how to do this, that'd be great. Thanks!)

things you wouldn't see on dragon's den
Okay, dragons, i'd like an investment of 1,000,000 pounds... or your lives.

My invention is able to solve up to 800 problems a minute and will revolutionise the lower classes. It's an MP5 with a light bulb on it.

jackanderson:
(Repost in bold. If someone could teach me how to do this, that'd be great. Thanks!)

Wrap the text in [b] and [/ b] brackets but without the space in the second one.

I want 2 billion quid for a 23% share in england

Hello my name is gordon brown

Mista Stevo:
I want 2 billion quid for a 23% share in england

Hello my name is gordon brown

Good one.

My invention is a vibrator - with spikes!

It's funnier if you imagine Frankie Boyle saying it.

So, how much investment are you looking for Mr Mugabe?

i want an investement of.da da..One Million Dollers

Hello my name is Davros and I would like all of your money in order to recreate the Dalek empire

What do you mean no one would buy my opaque windows and water proof sponges!?

Behold my invention Invisible clothes!

Hello, I'm Evan Davis and welcome to Dragon's Den: Uncut.

Fuck it, it's only money, have 10,000 and the deed to my villa in Jamaica...

And let's stop picking winners. It doesn't work, as we're going by the opinion of the one person who deems the topic over. And they haven't been right yet.

Money money money, must be funny, in a dragons world

He's my invention; A gun which will kill all of you, unless you start throwing all your money in this sack...Ahh Theo considers himself a hero? Well I know how to deal with Heroes *cocks gun*

jebussaves88:

And let's stop picking winners. It doesn't work, as we're going by the opinion of the one person who deems the topic over. And they haven't been right yet.

[Yeah I agree about the whole winner issue but isn't the statement 'And they haven't got it right yet' technically your personal opinion aswell? Regardless however I agree completely however if we all could come up with a way in which you could pick a winner, (e.g. An impartial Dara O'Brien equivalent) then it could work. All you need to do is vote/appoint someone as being the 'host' of the thread]

[Just a thought...]

"You know what I'll give you the full investment for the actual amount your willing to give up!"

Welcome to a special edition of Dragon's Den, were we have replace the dragons with actual dragons. Let's see how the first business has fared. Oh dear...

Welcome to a credit crunch altered version of Dragons' Den! The Dragons are paper cut outs of themselves voiced by John Barrowman, and the money has been reduced from 100,000 to 10p and some food stamps for the company to get by on.

Clarkarius:

jebussaves88:

And let's stop picking winners. It doesn't work, as we're going by the opinion of the one person who deems the topic over. And they haven't been right yet.

[Yeah I agree about the whole winner issue but isn't the statement 'And they haven't got it right yet' technically your personal opinion aswell? Regardless however I agree completely however if we all could come up with a way in which you could pick a winner, (e.g. An impartial Dara O'Brien equivalent) then it could work. All you need to do is vote/appoint someone as being the 'host' of the thread]

[Just a thought...]

"You know what I'll give you the full investment for the actual amount your willing to give up!"

[The idea was that it gave whoever started a new topic to be Dara O'Brien for that topic. There's no feasible way to represent the majoirty opinion so letting everyone have the opportunity to pick a winner was the next best idea I could think of.]

Hi, I'm sex, you might have seen me on "So you think you can dance" My invention is this new dance!

I would like 40 and a blow job from leo from 95% of my sperm and the pleasure of being raped

I am choosing to give my pitch...through the medium of interpretative dance!

"Alright; Duncan, James, Peter, Theo, Miserable Bitch"

OK. We appear to be stuck in a rut here so lets have a new topic.

New Topic:

Things You Wouldn't See/Hear On CBBeebies

Go nuts. But someone else change topic next time if that's ok.

And next up...it's Jihadi TV!

If you have been affected by any of the scenes featured in todays episode of the Tweeneies please call...

Welcome to CBBeebies, on ICE!

And now somthing for the parents toadays film is Nightmare on Elm Street

G is for genocide (cue the G Dancers)

and now we're going to tell you how babies are made

*cue porn music*

yeah baby, who's your daddy!

Now kids, there's going to be a world record attempt on CBBeebies! As I try to crack as many off during Balamory as humanly possible.

And today's special guests are Slipknot who will be performing their new single, "Puppies & Kittens (Why I Rape And Eat Them For Breakfast)"!

Next on CBBeebies, it's our bedtime film. Hostel: Part II!

Hey little dudes. Time I told you guys about carbs, and why they are NOT you're friends... I'm hungry.

So remember kids, Heil Hitler! (Dons Nazi outfit and salutes)

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