Scenes We'd Like to See (Mock the Week)

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Today, Simon, I'll be having sex with you with my eyes open.

Hello my name is Simon Cowell and today i'm going perfrom the full monty

You have been crowned the blowjob queen!

"And what makes you think this is suitable for the royal variety show, in front of Prince Charles?"
"I think the Princess Diana Driving school sketch is suitable for all ages"

messy:
"And what makes you think this is suitable for the royal variety show, in front of Prince Charles?"
"I think the Princess Diana Driving school sketch is suitable for all ages"

Bravo, Messy! Bravo!

Next up on Britain's Got Talent, someone with actual talent!

and now for my next trick! I will teleport this small japanese girl to my basement!

and now ladies and gententelmen please welcome world renowned funny man and comedien who has had croweds rolling in the asiles from sydney to chicago: GORDEN BROWN!!! (for all the people from the UK who are on the escapist)

So i said to myself, so what if i dont have legs, if i want it enough i can still win strictly come dancing

For my next trick I shall make your monthly payments magically consolidate into one easy to manage loan

EDIT; I rather like this topic, but it might be an idea for a new one. I personally cannot think of another one but if someone else could they have my infinite thanks

And now I shall turn this dying Libyan man into oil!

My talent... is being able to change the channel to a better programme than this shit!

At messy's request...

New Topic
Scientific Studies That Would Never Happen

"will a swift kick to the testicles serve as effective birth control?"

How many golf balls can I fit in this shaved chimpanzee dressed like my step-daughter?

To all players
I'm piecing together ideas for a internet based quiz much along the lines of Mock the Week. Video files will be shared via instant messaging, then compiled together and edited in order to produce the finished article; a quiz show based on games.
Contestants could either film themselves, or have some kind of avatar that talks for them... I don't care, so long as it doesn't cause me more work.
Anyone interested in this potential project, please comment in brackets within this thread, but please post an answer in each post also. I very much want this quiz show idea to be a background item on this thread

How long can the average person survive watching 2 girls 1 cup without puking

Possible solutions to a zombie apocal-

oh wait.

How much does the average person have in relation to Mr. T?

whose company can the average person stand longer without killing them? this hyperactive chimp with a tazer? or the average polytition?

Well there you have it, there is nothing John Prescott won't try and sleep with

how many fruit pastels does it take to choke a kestrel?

How long could I punch all of the "rad" racers from DiRT 2 without getting tired?

As for the panel game, jebussaves88... sign me up!

what is the worlds most uncomfortable situation? we placed nick griffen in a room filled with black people and marriah carey in a room full of eminem fans to find out.

"How many booze has to be drank to make Susan Boyle look attractive?"

"How quickly can one lose $10,000,000 in Las Vegas?"

"How is Ben Affleck still getting work?"

(Oh and yeah, if you want, I can probably be a contributor to the show. I got a face made for radio though...)

If my arse was sore what was i doing last night
whos fatter john precott or dara O'Brian therez only one way to find out

How much lego does it take to make a life-size version of Jordan's tits

"What is the stupidest thing I can propose to study that will get me a government grant?"

"hmmmmmmm maybe instead of going to mars we should try to make self sustaining underwater cities"

Well in an amazing turn of events the black hole machine found a Higgs Boson particle, Oh and swallowed a large proportion of Switzerland.

"lets see how many blacks we can club to death today, Then see if we can beat that record tomorrow!"

If i masturbate, will this kitten die?

Damn, copyrighted against us yankees. Friggin youtube.

As you can clearly see dipping my testicles in warm gravy was enough to entice the dog

Well that result was conclusive, not even Chuck Norris can play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and survive!

Can we genetically alter Kerry Katona's womb to produce food rather than children, thus solving world hunger?

New Topic: Scenes that wouldn't appear in Scenes we'd like to see

Things you wouldn't hear in your own head if you were Nick Griffin

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