Scenes We'd Like to See (Mock the Week)

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Wow, no posts in a long time. Okay:

New Topic: Unlikely ingredients for a salad

(only thing i could think of, random much?)

New topic:Something a computer salesman would never say
(Sorry ripped notebooks, but your topiic would have concisted of one word per reply and if you've seen mock the week, that is not fun.)

And if you use it for more than two hours in one go...well, if you've got a 360, you know what happens...

And Vista 7 was my idea.

So the beautiful part about this laptop is not only will it run videos and games, but if you put two raw steaks on your lap, it'll cook your dinner too!

(aww, I thought this was my thread. I remade this a while ago. Ah well~ :D)

As you can see, it's not only a laptop but also a great bludgeoning weapon as well!

And so, madam, as you can see: even though it is second-hand, it is perfectly secure...although, if it does so happen to break, some duct tape should do it. Remember, no refunds. Bye!

(no replies in a while, even though this was quite an interesting topic!)

New topic: Unlikely acts for the next Britain's Got Talent

Susan Boyle's singing cat, Pebbles.

And here is Tang Wong, a Thai ladyboy who will be performing the Dance of the Seven Veils.

I perform a revive spell on this beloved thread of mine to try and ressurect it from the dead! Let's see how effective it is.

Let's begin this re-animated thread with...
New Topic:
Things You Wouldn't Hear At A School Assembly

(Yes, I know that this was on the actual Mock The Week this week, but it's too damn good a topic)

Good morning, students. First off, a couple of notices. Detention today is in W8. Charles Woodcombe has lost his phone, if anyone finds it then please return it. And you all know Mrs. Mayflower? Yeah, I totally tapped that last night!"

Students you have no respect. If I were in your shoes I'd also be in your pants and that is why I'm going to gaol.

"To whoever booby trapped mis Smith's desk to explode and cover her in green slime.

Nice, I wish I'd thought of that."

"Kids, I'd like to tell you about our new extra-curricular activity, gladiatorial fighting. Also, I would kindly ask of you that you don't feed the lions, we're starving them for a reason."

"For all GCSE Biology students we are running a special field trip to further your education. We will be sending you letters home soon to offer you a trip to the cinema to watch The Human Centipede."

In order to stimulate and encourage all students in Physical Education and promote greater fitness, all of the healthiest children shall have steaks tied to their backs, then we cut loose the fat kids.

Students this year we are introducing a new mandatory subject Science. Different from the old one this new and fund producing subject is mainly us testing science on you.

Could K8 please report to the lab, we're going to find out at what volume bones start to leak.

"So, the OFSTED inspectors came around last week and we have fantastic news! Waterloo Road is now the best school in the country!"

(If anybody fancies making a different topic, go ahead)

"We had problems with funding this year so we had to make a few unscrupulous choices.
All our souls now belong to the devil. Oh it's not so bad. We just need to promote his stuff every now and then and burn in the hellfire for all eternity after.
Speaking of which...
Buy Twilight, it is the best book of all time. Don't forget to pick up the latest Justin Beiber CD. Remember Kiddies, MTV is your beeest friend"

Ok, eyes to the whiteboard children, we're all going to watch Twilight! ^^

New topic: unlikely things to hear at the cinema

"We are going to go straight to the movie and cut the half hour long string of adverts you will not be paying any attention to.

You're welcome"

"Thats not cheese on your nachos"

"We are offering a refund for anybody who has watched Green Lantern. We truly feel your pain, folks."

'Man, the signal is shit in here'.

"You. The dick blabbin on the mobile. Seat D4. Yes, you. We have our snipers tracking you. You want to tell them you'll call back. Hang up. And enjoy the music. Those red dots aren't laser pointers"

"If anyone thinks they're using their phone during this film, they are dead wrong. Usain Bolt is our usher and he will find you! Needless to say, don't try to run."

"We are sorry to announce that our scheduled screening of Transformers 3 has been cancelled in favour of something decent."

My god I wish Will Ferrel would act a little more over the top sometimes.

It's a real shame that Dane Cook isn't in more movies.

"You want our popcorn? Why don't you just let us rape your tastebuds and your wallet instead?"

(Wow this thread has died down a bit)

Time for a new topic?

New topic: Unlikely things for a sat nav to say

In the next 300 miles you will regret choosing BRIAN BLESSED as your voice option for this journey.

How does it feel now that you're taking orders from a machine, insect?

You have arrived at your destination. ^-^

In 300 meters please mount the curb and drive like a crazy.

Slough! Fuck off, I'm not going there.

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