I run up grab the cake and swallow it whole

My Cake

i rip you open and take the cake from your corpse.

I place the cake in a box, which is next to 3 other boxes.

^{another pointless challenge}

After 2 Phoenix Downs and several Dimensional Jumps, I take the cake out of the last box and head to New Jersey.

I DARE YOU TO FOLLOW.

Hey, you dared me to follow so I did. I grab the cake.

I place the cake in a Borderlands game case.

I open the case and take the cake.... But it's terribly flattened. Oh dear

I bake a new cake, and rest it on the windowsill to cool.

I sneak up to window sill and replace it with a mysterious ticking one...BOOM!!

Meanwhile, I hid the cake inside a nuclear sub.

I form an alliance with all of the Superpowers and hold you in a nuclear standoff while my clone and his gang of pan dimensional beings open a portal inside of the sub and steal the cake.

My clone hides the cake inside of a worm hole located in the fabric of time.

I go on an epic quest, meeting many new friends and triumphing over many old foes along my journey, before finally obtaining all seven slices of cake.

I seal the cake within a crystal.

I bring it together with it's parallel dark crystal, and collet the cake from the ground when the two cancel each other out.

I disguise the cake as a steamroller. In order to make it edible, it had more icing put on it, which was then painted to make it look more like a steamroller.
It's all rather confusing really.

I flatten the cake with MY steamroller, and mush it into something that looks a bit like a cake.

I put my....I think its a cake, into a bottomless pit.

I break the bottomless pit in half. Don't ask me how, I was really drunk at the time.

I flatten the cake and bake it some more, effectively disguising it as a cookie. I then throw the "cookie" down a bottom-ful pit.

In that case, you're throwing it on the floor, which i then grab it and run like hell.

And i keep running.........

I hire Usain Bolt to hunt you down and beat you to death and grab the cake.

The cake is now...Hey, Usain...GIVE ME THE DAMN CAKE!!!!! STOP RUNNING, YOU GIT!!!!

Since im dead, I ask god to bring me back to life and teleport the cak into my hands, whilst im standing right next to my secret lair.

And i hide my cake In the secret lair. And its secret. You cant find it.

And heres a riddle to help you find my lair.

It's dangerous out at the borders you know?

Where am i?

I'm gonna say Borderlands. If wrong, I simply track your IP address, enter and kill you again.
Oh and I take the cake.

I hide it on the Fringe of My Sanity.

Correct answer

I transfer you to arkham asylum, where you turn sane, so i get the cake back and put it in...

Which games console can RING the grim reaper of videogames?

360? Mine called the Grim Reaper 3 times.

If incorrect, I simply track your IP address, enter and kill you again.

I then place the cake in Operation: Anchorage.

Correct.

I download the pitt, take the cake, and give the cake to...

Who has a very ENIGMATIC name?(think batman villains)

I build a virtual simulation of Operation Anchorage, wander around for a bit, then find the cake and take it.

Then I realize that Golden-eye now has the cake. I follow sasquatch to GE's house, kill him.... Then realize he does not actually have the cake, as for he only downloaded the pitt.

I hide the cake in the cargo hold of Mothership Zeta.... After you have beaten the game.

You didn't solve my riddle. But, I beat the game, and take the cake. And I riddle you this.....

I could, OPEN UP, lots of possibilities to hide the cake. But where is it this time?

I honestly have no idea, so I hunt you down and force you to tell me the cakes location by tickling your feet.

I hide the cake in Paulsons clothing, after he leaves Zeta.

The answer was aperture science.

I chase him, get the cake, It looks disgusting, so I throw it in the bin. Which is in my lair.

Yes.

I guess Portal. After I guess, I use the portal gun to gain access to your lair again, kill you, and take the cake.

I then spend millions of dollars making a short film far more disturbing than anything else on the web, and make watching it mandatory in order to require the cake.

P.S.: It's the Aristocrats!

I watch your movie and I am not bothered by it. Cake, please.

I hide the cake inside another cake.

Oh, yay! Double cake!

I now hide it in.... NOTHING!!!!!

Oh, yay! Double cake!

I now hide it in.... NOTHING!!!!!

Eh, curses, double post. My bad...

Because the cake that you hid the cake in was only slightly larger than the actual cake and looked exactly like it, I take the cake box and the real cake without knowing that the cake box isn't actually a cake. I then hide the cake box and cake inside a timber wolf heavy assault 'mech and lock it. I then hide the keys in a new cake.

edit: ninja'd

In respond to COR2000, I simply make another cake.

I then hide it on one of the Escapist community, but where??

Me, obviously.

what do you mean in one of the escapist community? are you saying that there is more than one community? if so wouldn't you say you hid it in one of the escapist communities? I'm confused. In anycase, I look for it in the review forums.

Angrywyvern:
what do you mean in one of the escapist community? are you saying that there is more than one community? if so wouldn't you say you hid it in one of the escapist communities? I'm confused. In anycase, I look for it in the review forums.

I meant to say on one of the Escapist users...

But which one??

I try to pick Russ Pitt's pockets to see if he has the cake, but I get caught and he calls the guards. Luckily I'm playing Oblivion, not Fallout, so instead of dying I just get a 5 dollar fine and go to jail for a day. When I get back I slaughter Russ and find the cake on him, which I lock in my car before hiding the car keys in a new cake, which put inside a ring of fragmentation mines.

I have the perk which doesn't set off floor based traps so the cake is mine, smash the window, get the keys out and drive off with your car and the cake.

I keep driving north to Scotland with the cake.