The cake game

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I bribe the possum, allowing me to smuggle out said cake.

'Twas delicious.

i punch you in the gut until you throw up the cake. Now the cake is vomit, so i hide it in the toilet and flush it into the sewer. Ech!

Being a rational, sane, and overall centered person, my plan to take the cake was obvious, simple, and sane.

What this means, naturally, was stealing a Bugatti Veyron, flooring it, then turning and ejecting at maximum speed in the direction of the target whilst on an oversized cyborg wolverine with wheels that are on fire. I then notice that the smoke bomb I earlier tossed has landed, and in the confusion... Well, it's hard to defend against a wolverine coming at you at 253 miles an hour. I then turn around and head back to the Veyron, which is still going. I hop back in and drive off.

This cake is delicious.

You mean the sewerage-covered vomit is delicious.

that's some...interesting taste you have............

Couldn't agree more.

I call in every army in world to hunt down VuvuZeldaMan. He is soon captured and the, ahem, cake is retreived.

Using the miracle of SCIENCE! I rewind time until the cake is in it's pregame condition. Next time-freeze the cake so that nothing can affect the cake. Then I shrink the cake until it is smaller than an atom and hide it within the structure of an element choosen at random by an omnipotent computer that has unique feature about the atom that only I know.

Now to hide the atom. First I cast a spell that hides the knowledge of the atom from anyone that is not myself or the computer. Second I instruct the omnipotent computer to send the atom to a time, location and dimention chosen at random except the exact location of the computer itself. Next I oblitorate all the atoms of the computer. Finally I scramble my neurons so that I have no recollection of the cake but the ability to recall the knowledge if I am exposed to a special psychological trigger.

I make another cake. With hundreds-and-thousands this time.

And a cherry on top.

I steal the cakes, combine them into one giant cake, then feed them to the Gods of Olympus.

Just try to take the cake from those hot-headed super-buggers.

I also eat the cherry (Cherry game anyone?)

Since the Gods of Olympus ate that cake, I instead go to Lizbeth19's house and make spooky noises demanding that they edit their post so that they instead just put the cake down in front of a neon sign that says "Cake here!!!!!!!!"
I then stop breaking the fourth wall, take that cake and store it in a freezer. Made of bears.

I lurve teh caek.

I hire Batman to get the cake for me. Unfortunately, Batman decides to keep the cake, so now Batman has the cake. How will you get the cake from the motherfucking Batman?

Catwoman seduces Batman, steals the cake and gives it to me, although because I'm a 16 year old urchin with about as much wealth as an unemployed dung beetle she punches me in the gut very hard because I couldnt pay her. The cake is squashed under my body while im writhing in pain.

Catwoman picks you up and hurls you out the top of the nearest building, i.e the Empire State building. She then places what's left of the cake on top of the Empire State building.

King kong uses climb. Its super effective. However,once he gets to the top, toad walks out and says "thank you. But our cake is in another empire state building."

I hire Bowser to bring me the cake, Giving him Princess Daisy in exchange (cartoon slavery FTW!)

I give the cake to Lukas the Trickster, then get Bowser to kill him in close combat, causing both to get stuck in stasis for eternity.

I wait for what feels like an eternity, then, when Lukas emerges from the stasis, I steal the cake and push him back in for another eternity.

I retreat to my secret base guarded by an army of loyal Jackie Chan clones.

I use a squad of Tau Stealthsuits to bypass your Jackie Chans and get that cake.

Erects barrier composed of Broadside XV88's

I use a squad of Tau Stealthsuits to bypass your Jackie Chans and get that cake.

Erects barrier composed of Broadside XV88's

WAAAAAAGH! Not enough Broadsides to stop the Green Tide!

I give the cake to the Orks. I'm not sure anyone wants to know what happened to it.......

I take off my ork mask and smile, "That was easier than expected"

I paint the cake green and hide it in a cactus.

I create a virus which kills all plant life, after this, the cake is relatively easy to find.

I let my dog eat the cake.

I hire Jack Black to kick your dog off of a bridge, causing him to throw up the cake in suprise (The dog, not Jack Black).

I grab the half digested cake and run for the hills.

Unfortunately the hills are alive with the sound of music and they beat you up for the cake which I later buy after happening upon it at a store run buy the hills in Sweden.

I trick you into donating the cake to my fake charity in a long and frankly ludicrous manner, so I wont bother typing it up here.

I hide the cake in plain sight.

I take the cake by using an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to place an orange portal next to me and a blue portal under the cake.

I use the same technique to move the cake to the moon where it should be better preserved in the vaccuum.

I lend a call to the Floaters from Cydonia to invade the earth - and establish the importance of X-COM while I'm at it... Oh and have them take the cake too.

I make a secret pact with the aliens to recieve the cake in exchange for Surinam.

But I stage a coup de grace in Surinam, fighting off the aliens and forcing them to bow down to my will and taking their prized cake as my own!

I ask for it politely, making heavy use of puppy dog eyes

I open a warp-gate which has access to everysingle goddamn demon, heretic, and traitor to get the cake.

I surround myself with them and fly into the warp-gate. SEE YOU IN THE EYE OF TERROR!

I use a portal gun on your warp-gate's destination, put the other one in the basement of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, wait for Flandre to clean the lot of you out, place the portal near her next to me and grab the cake. Even she's not insane enough to destroy cake.

I will kick Leet square in the groin and steal his portal gun and create a portal above him and below him, infinite portal...bwhaha, then I steal the cake from his hands while he is dissy and then take a taxi to the airport and board my private jet...and Im about to have a slice when...

... it turns out that I was your chair in disguise all along. I inject you with Sulphuric acid while you're distracted with the cake, and grab it when you collapse to the floor in agony. Then, while everyone on the jet is still confused, I shoot out the window and jump out into the sky with the cake and the last paracute. I laugh as I watch the plane crash down in smoke while I drift slowly towards the ground, when... becomes pitch black. You are eaten by a Grue, except the Grue doesn't like cake. So it decides to give me the cake, because I have previously made friends with Gruekind after I taught them how to fashion spears out of sticks and sharp stone.

The cake shall be all mine.

I place you in a maze that you have to use portal projectors to get through.

The cake, as it turns out, is not a lie, and I steal it as you're stuck on the second to last level.

My cake.

I rage like IdrA playing a Korean and get into my spaceship of doom. I use it to find you, and the the spaceship dooms you with its doom ray. The doom ray causes your doom, which is pretty messy and needs no further explanation. Fortunately, the cake is safe from the doom, and I go down and get it, after turning off the doom ray of course.

Sure looks mighty tasty! :D

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