I vault the counter at Mcdonnalds and see cod3monkey breaking claymorz' legs. I run up and hit him with my rusty spatualla. It breaks into 3 pieces. "Shit" I exclaim, but not willing to be defeated, I reach into my pockets and grab all the ketchup packets I stole. "Do you want fries with that!" I shout as I squirt ketchup into his eyes

Ren3004:
Ouch, Sven missed and hit me with the mini-wii-sized-cd-with-knife-blades-on-it-so-I-guess-it's-like-a-ninja-star.

In retaliation, I throw a bowling ball filled with liquid nitrogen at him, freezing him in place. I then go back to the hardware store...

After about 20 posts of being frozen, I finally manage to thaw out. Then I run to the electrical appliances store and turn on the heater, crawling into a fetal position beside it.

Little does Sven und EIN HUND realize, in the total pain of slowly being thawed out he didn't notice me painting his body with lead-based red paint! As the paint dries, the lead sets into his body & poisons him.

After healing my legs - I use my powers to manifest 2 light sabres, some Space marine armour, a jet pack, a chain saw dagger, a rope of Grenades, 2 revolvers and a cowboy hat. Then decide to take on Comrade Ren's and Cor's army of (please remind me what we are fighting ) to gain revenge for my favourite left leg, and also I retrieve the LAST ARMANI EXCHANGE LEATHER JACKET and then stand on the railings look down upon the horde. Then I shout "I do not FEAR DEATH FOR I AM DEATH INCARNATE", before jumping arms spreat wide down into the masses, light sabres drawn.

(I look something like this now :P)

(Wow, Claymorez, you're an ugly bastard...)
I show Claymorez a mirror, causing hm to lightsaber his own head off. Then I dig a really deep hole and ask Pararaptor to stand next to it and say "this is blasphemy, this is madness".

unfortunatly due to my stupidity i strike the mirror thinking it my head and instead cut my hands which hurt.

While watching Paranormal Activity with COR, I hear a commotion outside the theater.

I see claymorez crying over his bloody hands, and fill his head with shurikens and lightning.

"NO ONE MESSES WITH MY FUCKING MOVIE!!!!"

Luckily Sam g kicks Pararaptor into a giant hole which was between me and the blast, shielding me from that attack, so I take notice and then turn upon Ren chainsaw drawn and run at him full pelt, crushing zombies, obese people and chickens beneath my battle armoured feet whilst calling to Ren, "It's time for the DIRECTOR'S CUT!".

The final shuriken disarms claymorez, sending his lightsaber plummeting towards me.

I behead him and he falls dead at my feet.

Someone really doesn't like puns.

Unfortunately for Ren he hadn't noticed the ring of grenades id dropped at his feet and popped out the pins from, or the fact my suit can monitor my life signs and once detects there is no one alive any more inside it it explodes. So Ren was incinerated and brunt to a sinder in the ensuing explosion. I re spawn in the Scotland store.

Oh, good, I respawned inside the theater. Back to my film...

I respawin in the theater with Ren, and the film is this awesome star wars thing, right near the end of number 3, where the two guys are having their awesome lightsaber fight.

We turn to each other, and the lightsabers we had earlier return to our hands.

We nod at each other, and jump towards each other, to have an epic lightsaber battle just like the one on the film.

(Here's a clue - I'm Anakin)

"I loved you! You were my brother, Anakin!"

BZZZZT BZZZZT BZZZZZT

"You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!"

I grab sir brytside's lightsaber from his cold dead hands, and then use force powers to throw pop corn at Ren

Hey... That wasn't in the movie!

I use my (vastly superior) force powers to drown CoolEnergy in popcorn.

"Just let me enjoy the damn movie!"

Having armed myself with a bagpipie and a kilt i come into the theatre and start playing the national anthem so badly it knocks Ren and The greatcoolenergy unconscious and I tie them up and swap the movie over to Gladiator.

I'm in the theatre as well, and i have ear plugs. So i get up and bust so many caps on your ass with "The Anhiallator" (the godfather), a Grinder (GoW2) would say "DAMN!"

When I wake up, I'm tied up along with CoolEnergy and Gladiator is playing. Summoning what remains of my strength, I chew through the ropes, take one of the chairs from the theater and beat the waiter at the food court until he gives me free hot dogs.

I then throw hot dogs at clay, and use squirt him with ketchup so he'll stand out in the crowd.

I wake up and notice I am burried in popcorn. "Dreams do come true" I silently wisper as I begin to eat my way out. Once on top, I run into the lobby and grab one of the fake laser guns used for the arcade games, then head back into the theatre

I lob a hot dog at CoolEnergy, managing to make him slip and disarming him.

Watching cool walk back into the theatre, i pull out a pez dispenser, sneak up behind him while pointing the pez dispenser at the back of his head (where he can't see it), rob him, and drop the pez dispernser and book it!

While pursuing claymorez, I once again run into Sir Bryghtside. We look at each other and draw our lightsabers.

*cue Duel of the Fates*

Me: "I've been waiting for you, Ren. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master."

Ren: "Only a master of evil, Bryghtside."

*lightsaber fight*

Me: "Your powers are weak, old man."

Ren: "You can't win, Bryghtside. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you can possibly imagine."

*Lightsaber fight*

Me: "You should not have come back."

*Lightsaber fight*

*Ren pulls lightsaber up, I stab him*

lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl: "Ren, nooooooo!"

*I stab c0d*

"urk..."

Run c0d... Oops, too late.

While all this was happening, I was not only digging a very big pit in the center of the auditorium, but also switching the film to 300, cloning myself 299 times, cloning myself a couple more times and making those ones wear dresses, but also handing out scripts to everyone in the movie theater, and informing them that they read the lines marked "persians".

"Sam, the Force will be with you... always..."

I respawn, once again, in the food court, and start arming myself with toothpicks.
Never underestimate the power of a good toothpick.

Little did Ren know, that I had booby-trapped the toothpicks with bombs that I had made, MacGyver-style, out of household objects I found in the mall.

I head to wall-mart, to pick up a crowbar, and a gun.

I pick up a gas canister from the kitchen and use it to make a gas powered toothpick launcher.

Seeing Xvito in the distance, I shoot at him, but for some reason, the toothpick explode in my face, killing me.

i take dogs from the pet store, starve them for a while and unleash them on everyone
i go to the book store pick up every copy of war and peace, and smack people on the head with it

I drench the people in the mall in napalm and corn syrup. I then unleash fat guys on fire at them

I send my army of 150 stormtroopers to beat up sam g's spartans.

The remains of my toothpick launcher explode when hit by war and peace, injuring TGBA.

Whilst this has been going on I've been enjoying a nice bucket of salt popcorn and the film gladiator, which has a 300 scene in it I obviously forgot (I am so absorbed in the film I didnt notice the change). and so I simply throw a lightning bolt at anyone who come near me and carry on watching the film.

I respawn inside the music store and pick up an electric guitar. "Hmmm... I never smashed one of these." I set the guitar on fire and run around the mall beating people with it.