I use force choke on claymores and run out of the theatre.

_{First I was THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM, now I'm Darth Vader. Nice.}

I meet SirBryghtside outside the theater. I hold my flaming guitar in guarding stance and prepare to fight him.

*cue Duel of the Fates*

I see Sam G's army of threehundred. Not having the time to fight them all, I launch an egg filled with T-Virus at the first spartan. Soon there us a massive zombie riot going on inside the theatre, and Sam G is helplessly mauled by his own army. I quickly side step out of the theatre and see Ren and Bryghtside preparing to fight. I grab a bag of popcorn and some cola and prepare for the show.

I use g-mod to make funny music videos and harass the venders in the mall, then cause coolenergy to spazz out until he explodes.

BOOM

I respawn out side of the gardening center, decide to grab a pitch fork, and then head back to the movie theatre

i then take an All-Seing-Stone, track coolenergy down and beat the fuck out of him wih a crowbar, blast both of his arms off with a shotgun, stab him in the stomach with an ice pick, cripple him, take his pitchfork, and stab him up against the wall of the movie theatre. i then watch you die slowly and painfully, and right after you die, i die of suffocation because i was laughing so hard.

strangely sirbrightside simply chocked me for a second (he never said he killed me :D). I then unleashed my woop ass God skills and summon a hord of Spartans of my own and ask them to fight the zombies and 299 off whilst I carry on watching my movie!

when he sits down to continue his movie i drop down from the cieling lodge my bloodied crowbar into your skull....i presume you have just died, right before the movie ended!

Wow code monkey that was unbelievably dark...I respawn and grab a shovel, and the head back for Mcdonnalds.

unfortunately for you, my day job is the cashier at the mcdonald's! so, i pull out a chainsaw (that i conveniently placed in the register) and cut your head off before you take the first bite of that big mac! then drop it, and blow up every fast food chain in the mall

EDIT: oh and by the way guys, fight back...

but unluckily for you, that was my decoy! you just killed Donnald Trump! As he lay dieing, his last words were "I'm.....fired..." and then he dies. I take my shovel and vault the counter, and the I use the shovel to knock you out. Once you are out cold I tie you up, and procede to enjoy my big mac.

I sneak up behind CoolEnergy, turn on my lightsaber and stab him in the chest. Then I cut his Big Mac in two.

"No, you idiot, don't eat that! There's a Burger King on the other side of the corridor!"

"Damn, how didn't I see the great tasting food at competitive prices right across the way?!?" I say aloud before I die. I respawn in the BK and procede to buy 500 Burgers, and then load them into my 'State-certified burger launcher'. Afterwards I kick over a table, aim towards the door, and prepare to hold the fort. Oh and I eat a whopper.

As Ren is sneaking up on CoolEnergy, I sneak up behind him and MELT HIS EYES with the awesomeness of my new avatar.

Then I force choke him, I guess.

(nice new avatar m8) I then use my God powers to create 12 magical talismans and teleport them to hiding places in the mall. I keep one of them for myself though, the dog talisman - I have listed the powers each grants and where to find them in the mall. Then I drop down from the air vent and break sirbrightsides neck like a ninja using a spoon.

Talismans:
----------
Rat: Power of Animation. "Motion to the Motionless" Gives inanimate objects life. Found on top of an ancient Chinese lantern.

Ox: Power of Super Strength. Found by on the mask of El Toro Fuerte at the wrestling ring.

Tiger: Power of Balance. When halved, it also splits the user's positive and negative halves (Yin and Yang) into two separate beings, each holding a half of the talisman. Can also be used to find the "other half" of a broken object. The two beings rejoin when they reunite the broken talisman. Found within a pie.

Rabbit: Power of Super Speed. Found stuck in the shell of a tortoise in the aquarium.

Dragon: Power of Combustion. Allows explosive energy to be discharged from the talisman. Found in a airvent/cave.

Snake: Power of Invisibility. Found in the science museum.

Horse: Power of Healing/Renewal. "The noble horse of a knight" can "expel all alien forces within," curing the user of illness (foreign bodies), and can also heal physical injuries, repair broken objects and instantly relieve physical pain and disorientation. Found within a structure atop the theatre's popcorn machine.

Sheep: Power of Astral Projection, or the ability to eject the soul from the body and wander as an invisible spirit and able to enter a person's dreams. Found in a crate in a by the Mall's inside station.

Monkey: Power of Shapeshifting, Change shape of oneself or others into different animals(possible of turning oneself into non-living object). Found on the floor next to main fountain.

Rooster: Power of Levitation The user of this talisman will have the power to levitate into the air, combining this talisman with the rabbit talisman will allow the person to achieve flight. It also grants the user telekinesis. Found within a golden shield inside the antique store.

Dog: Power of Immortality. "The Dog is best friend to Man, it restores youthful energy and grants Eternal Life"; it can negate the effects of aging (the user won't turn young again, but they will feel as though they have) and make them invulnerable, but only for as long as the user is in contact/wearing the talisman. Found on Claymorez's person

Pig: Power of Heat Vision. Allows the user to expel powerful beams of energy through their eyes. It bears similarity to Superman's Laser Vision. Found in the Dutch clock shop on the second floor of the mall.

NOTE: the power of each talisman stops when it is taken off the person e.g. knocked out their hand, and yes u may injest them but then the powers are perminently switched on, e.g. eat the monkey and ur constantly transforming unable to control what u become next.

I block Sir's force choke and use the force to sense my surroundings. I then force pull my lightsaber to my hand and turn it on.

"Only a Sith changes avatars this close to Halloween. I will do what I must!" I say
"You will try..." replies Sir, grabbing his own saber.

*Cue Duel of the Fates*

Me: "You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't get yourself destroyed as your previous life did"

*We battle some more, I cut Ren's hand off*

Ren: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!

Me: "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Ren. You do not yet realise your importance. We have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict, and bring order to the galaxy"

Ren: "I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU!"

Me: "If you only knew the power of the dark side - your previous life never told you what happened to your father. It must have got lost during the respawn."

Ren: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him."

Me: "No. I am your father."

Ren: "No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!"

Me: "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

Ren: "NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Me: "Ren. You can destroy claymorez. He has forseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Come with me. It is the only way."

*Ren jumps down from the top floor of the mall to the ground floor*

*I look down at the bloody mess*

Me: "Argh, godammit. Ah well. I'll just catch him in his next respawn..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

My soul holds on to dear life until I see someone passing below me with a shopping cart. I jump into the cart and respawn, and my hand grows back.

"My past self... Why didn't you tell me? Why?"

I then go to see COR, the Jedi master who trained me, planning to ask him the truth.

"ATTENTION MAGGOTS. THERE WILL BE A MASSIVE FEAST IN THE FOOD COURT. ANYONE THAT DOESN'T SHOW UP IS GOING TO BE DEVOURED WITH NO CHANCE OF RESPAWNING. ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY AND YOU CAN BRING NO WEAPONRY. I AM EXCLUDED FROM THIS FEAST, AND IF YOU BRING ALONG ANY WEAPONS I WILL DIP YOU IN HOT OIL. ALSO, THE GAME." Malevolent's voice trails off.

While everyone is going to the food court, I take a detour to visit my master in the Dagobah clothing store.

I ignore Malevolent's message. I'm SirDyrkside, I can do what I want!

I respawn in an Apple store and make a Jacky Chen YouTube poop. Because the Apple store is maaaaagic, all the talismans currently scattered around the store turn into magical YouTube star heads, each controlling one of the following powers:

Weegee: Power of Animation. "Motion to the Motionless" Gives inanimate objects life. Found on top of an ancient Chinese lantern.

Heavy Weapons Guy: Power of Super Strength. Found by on the mask of El Toro Fuerte at the wrestling ring.

Chad Warrden: Power of Balance. When halved, it also splits the user's positive and negative halves (Yin and Yang) into two separate beings, each holding a half of the talisman. Can also be used to find the "other half" of a broken object. The two beings rejoin when they reunite the broken talisman. Found within a pie.

Dr. Rabbit: Power of Super Speed. Found stuck in the shell of a tortoise in the aquarium.

Captain Falcon: Power of Combustion. Allows explosive energy to be discharged from the talisman. Found in a airvent/cave.

Doctor Octagonapus: Power of Invisibility. Found in the science museum.

LittleKuriboh: Power of Healing/Renewal. "The noble kuriboh of a gay pharaoh" can "expel all alien forces within," curing the user of illness (foreign bodies), and can also heal physical injuries, repair broken objects and instantly relieve physical pain and disorientation. Found within a structure atop the theatre's popcorn machine.

Yahtzee: Power of Astral Projection, or the ability to eject the soul from the body and wander as an invisible spirit and able to enter a person's dreams. Found in a crate in a by the Mall's inside station.

The King of Hyrule: Power of Shapeshifting, Change shape of oneself or others into different animals(possible of turning oneself into non-living object). Found on the floor next to main fountain.

Random Japanese Game-Show Host: Power of Levitation. The user of this talisman will have the power to levitate into the air, combining this talisman with the rabbit talisman will allow the person to achieve flight. It also grants the user telekinesis. Found within a golden shield inside the antique store.

Lolcat: Power of Immortality. "The Lolcat is best friend to retard, it restores youthful energy and grants Eternal Life"; it can negate the effects of aging (the user won't turn young again, but they will feel as though they have) and make them invulnerable, but only for as long as the user is in contact/wearing the talisman. Found on Claymorez's person

Dramatic Gopher: Power of Heat Vision. Allows the user to expel powerful beams of energy through their eyes. It bears similarity to Superman's Laser Vision. Found in the Dutch clock shop on the second floor of the mall.

I become a ghost, float through walls until I find malevolent. Once I find him I rematerialze and kick him in the balls. Hard. With spiked shoes. While he is on the ground crying to his god I say "Bitch you can tell me what to do the day your balls produce working sperm" and with that I take my leave.

I find CoolEnergy, raise my arm... and high-five him.

I teleport to the food court and wait hiding beneath a cardboard orange box, eating food around me that I can see.

I head towards the clothing store to talk to my master.

I teleport on top of Claymorz's box and light it on fire. Then I head towards Blockbusters

Little did CoolEnergy know that I had rigged all the popcorn packages with napalm.

When he enters Blockbuster, I throw a match into the store and leave him to burn inside.

I waltz over to the dutch clock shop, waltz inside, take the Dramatic Gopher talisman and waltz out again.
Then I laser Ren's face off.

Having my box lit on fire did not amuse me so I teleported out from beneath it before my untimely demise could ensue and then resumed my eating of all things food like.

Second degree napalm burns!

I respawn in the HMV, and I grab a handfull of CD's and some headphones, and sit down for a calm afternoon of music

I grab an ice cream scoop from one of the ice cream places and attempt to scoop out a random persons eye after hitting them a few times with it.

Ow! What the fuck?! Who stabs people with a spoon?

I stab Mr.Banaynay in the face with a screwdriver.
_{Now that's a man's stabbing instrument.}

I kill the next poster with my baseball bat....

I don't care who it is I just kill him/her.

I am nearly killed by KC_spot's baseball bat, but use the force on him, smashing him through a wall.

I search for Ren so I can do the end fight with him against the evil Emperor, claymorez.