"I bring life," says Bryghtside's hot sister (who still doesn't have a name; what's up with that?), pointing at the air and spawning me back from death.
"Wha!? I'm alive?" I say, surprised.
"Yep. Turns out I have the power to decide who lives and who dies. Awesome, huh?" She explains.
"Yeah, that is pretty cool!" I say, re-equipping my golf clubs and staple guns. "So, it's gonna be a while before Bryghtside, Phil and the rest arrive... Wanna make out?"
"Do I?!" She exclaims. So we do.

"Ready?" I ask, and Ren and Pm0n3y nod.

We rush to wher my sister is, and see sam g and my sister making out.

"Maybe we come back later."

Strangely fitting music...

"Why, nonsense!" I yell, holding both my golf clubs in one hand and aiming my staple gun at the heroes with the other (all the while hastily buttoning up my shirt). "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!"

*robot hits a chair and trips.blue screen of death* damnit apple!

My theme song :D

I throw away my lancers, and grab the biting blade that I'd been keeping in my saddlebag, and fight sam g, slashing his chest.

"Ren! You go for the girl! I can take sam - for now..."

"You can take me, eh?" I ask, my eyes glowing a wicked shade of red. I swing my golf clubs at Bryghtside's chest, then his feet, tripping him over. "You never were a good swordsman," I say, shooting him in the leg with a staple.

*gets robot up and shoots lasers at sam*

After seeing SirBS trip and fall, i rush at Sam with my two short swords. The sight of Sam getting hit with Baby-Eater's lasers made me think that he would be an easy target, but to my surprise he runs toward me with his golf clubs. Sparks fly as we fight, metal clashing against metal. The sight was an epic one, as everyone stopped fighting to look at the light show, Ooh-ing and Aah-ing at every hit, as if they were watching 4th of July fireworks.

ooh.....ahhh

*sits robot on bench sending whoever else is on it into the ceiling*

Sir's sister sees me and flies right at me.

"This time, I'll kill you for good!", she says.

But when she touches me, nothing happens. I take off my hood.

"It... can't be..."

The lights flicker and die... I grab the soul's neck.

"Yes, you foolish girl. I'm afraid it can..."

Sir's sister starts glowing.

"You will spend all eternity in suffering!"

The light fills the corridor... windows shatter, and the trees wither and die. Then, it's over... Sir's sister has disappeared. She can no longer come back.

Sam looks at me and tries to hit me with a golf club, but I dodge him easily and burn him with hellfire.

"It's over."

Sir looks up at me and says

"Thank you."

With a nod, I heal Sir's leg, and then disappear from sight, returning to my throne in Hell. Me and Sir's sister have a score to settle.

Waking up from my daily map in the mall supplies closet, I notice a brawl going on. Stretching, I take a look around for potential weapons. Seeing nothing but a mop and an unconscious man, I decide to get a little more creative. I take the pillowcase off of my pillow and start filling it with:
1: The man's shoes
2: My own shoes
3: The mans clothes
4: The top of the mop

Using the pillowcase, some duck-tape and the stick from the mop, I construct some kind of Hobo bag of death, and charge out of the closet, screaming made up sware words. It comes to my atention that nobody is around. Frowning, I move on to find someone to fight.

"While everyone's lost - the battle is won."

- The Killers, All These Things That I've Done.

I look around the batttlefield, and notice sam g, burning on the floor.

"I'm sorry," I say, grabbing a fire extinguisher.

And hitting him with it.

Repeatedly.

Tired of torturing Sir's sister in Hell, I decide to go back to the mall in my human form.

Eventually, sam dies, which ruins my fun, so I turn on eatmorebabies and freeze his robot's limbs.

I grab a hammer from the hardware store, and start bashing people's skulls with it.

I respawn with no recollection of Bryghtside's hot ghost sister, or indeed any of the events from the last couple of pages, so I sit on a bench and ponder what's been happening over the last few days.

Unfortunately, sam's pondering in interrupted by a hammer blow to the head.

That hammer blow brings my memories rushing back to me. I recall Ren's treachery, and decide to avenge Bryghtside's hot ghost sister with stapler-induced justice.

(cue kick-ass revenge music)

I deflect the staples with my hammer, hitting sam's hippocampus and making him lose his memory again. Then I crush his ribcage with my hammer.

Isn't a hippocampus a winged horse?

"Ren, you swine! First you kill my best friend, and now my pegasus? This is unforgivable!" I put my thumb in my mouth and blow, re-inflating my chest, and then kick Ren into a bookshelf, causing it to topple over on top of him.

_{It's a part of the limbic system of the brain that is related to memory.}

Sam falls over and dies, as a result of having ignored his brain damage.

"Ah, finally!"

I kick eatmorebabies off his robot, and climb on myself, shooting Ren and eatmorebabies.

I dodge Sir's shots and throw the hammer at the robot, hitting a conveniently exposed weak spot and deactivating it.

"I'm tired of these motherfucking robots in this motherfucking mall!"

My robot explodes, but I use a riot shield to prevent me from dying.

Instead, I am catapulted to the police station, and grab some mace, pepper spray, and a gun, which I convert to shoot truncheons.

I slowly walk in. "Sup dudes? You know the demo games in the game store have the whole game? I just completed Arkham Asylum!"

Then without realising i received a truncheon impaling my back and I die, Sir standing behind me.

"Hey, that's not fair!"

I bludgeon Sir from behind until he dies.

"Ha ha, Cougar! You got [insert witty, truncheon related line here]ed!"

I set my sights back on Ren, and spray pepper spray in his eyes before taking the truncheon out of Cougar's back and hitting Ren round the face with it.

By doing so, Sir creates a time paradox, and a black hole engulfs the mall.

"Oh, great. Now you've done it."

"What is on the other side of a black hole?"

~Taboohunter, Yahoo Answers

"Argh!", I scream, as we are taken into a black hole.

We are sucked into a wormhole, and end up above the Earth, plummeting to the ground.

"The only way we can stop this is by going to the Yu-Gi-Oh! card shop, and getting the card White Hole!" Yells Ren.

"Not a chance," I reply, coldly.

"Wha-?" says Ren, confused.

"Well, seeing as I've always been the good guy in these wierd little plotlines we have, I want to be the bad guy this time. Change of pace, you know," and with that, I shoot Ren with my truncheon gun, and dash to the card shop.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

My body is torn to pieces by the black hole. And then... I'm back in the mall. But... something's wrong!

My body has been split into atoms, and now I can just float around the mall.

"SIR! I'll get you for this!"

I finally arrive at the card store, and search for a Mewtwo in the pokemon section, and use it to protect me from any entrants.

"Mindlessly, motivelessly, being the bad guy?" says Mewtwo. "I like your style."

*hits bryght with a rubber hammer* sir i believe you owe me a robot and a free kick to the face *roundhouse kick*

Ow... wha- what happened????

I look up and see eatmorebabies searching for White Hole.

"Mewtwo - use Psychic!"

Eatmorebabies looks round, gets hit by Psychic, and dies faints.

So I shoot my truncheon gun at him.

Repeatedly.

*wakes up* that was rude and what's white hole do? by the way *holds up the 5 exodus part cards*

While E.M.B plays with his trading cards, I jump in front of him and deflect the oncoming truncheons with my long swords, swinging and spinning them in a rapid fashion. Suddenly SirBS's gun clicks.

Now it's my turn.