I create a parallel universe of nothingness, and shove you in it. You go through an eternity of boredom, and WISH you could kill yourself.

^{umm... I'd asphyxiate, or maybe die of starvation.}

I raise the gravity of the land under your feet until you get crushed to death.

Your own corpses crush you to death from above. 'Nuff said.

I nail you to a tree and force you to eat more nails until you die.

You are ripped apart by telekinetic forces not known to man. I cackle madly for it was my own brain power.

I drop a very large boulder on you. You get crushed to death.

i sell you to the pound for animal testing

I hurl a large atomic explosive at you. You are turned into a mindless ghoul

Eats the toast, listening to his small screams as he feeds himself.

BURNS THE AMERICAN FLAG

Why is it always the flaaaaag?!??!?!

Kicks Lastbayking into space out of the knowledge that he just burned an american flag.

BURNS THE AMERICAN FLAG WITH THE SUN

THATS IT BUDDY! NAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Straps atomic explosive to chest, and triggers it when he runs up Lastbayking. The entire interwebs shakes as the explosion takes it's toll, and I am the only survivor.

The ground you stand on crumbles claiming you to the precarious ocean of spam were you promptly go insane and kill your self by burning the american flag.

I...will...eat...your...soul...
Uses Lastbayking as a punching bag to take all of his anger on. He even uses the corpse.

The corpse explodes causing the american flag to burn.

This is quite enjoyable.

God dangit dude...STOP DESTROYING MAH FLAG RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

Pushes Lastbayking down, and crouches over his face, and with constipating efforts, farts through his suit, with the force of any atomic explosion, Lasybayking dies of the fumes that linger.

And the initial explosion causing the american flag to disintegrate.

Nice...

Grabs a flamethrower and torches Lastbayking's clothing. He is standing in public in his underwear. He will soon be eaten by rats as people through fruit at him.

AND NO! YOU ARE NOT STANDING INFRONT OF THE FLLLAAAAAAAAG

You do realize your mistake right?

Your flamethrower explodes from a miss placed nitrogen pocket. The american flag burns to the ground. The rest of america follows short.

You...Crafty...Little...bastage...

My fist meets your face. There are no explosions, and me and my armor, AND FLAG, are not destroyed.

I use a mini nuke on you.

Ouuuch...

Eat...AXE!

Begins to slice at Hail Fire

I CAST FLARE AT YOU

Then hide behind my desk...

I have blocked your spell, wizard. Avada Kedavra, motherus fuckerus!

Oh, but one thing wizards can't stand up to is... FALCON PUUUUNCH!

I open my giant Kirby-like mouth and swallow ALL OF YOU, EVEN THE ONES WHO WILL TRY TO KILL ME MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THEY MAY TRY TO BLOW ME UP OR RIPP A HOLE THROUGH ME BUT THEY WILL BE CRUSHED DUE TO MY ENOURMUS SIZE.

(BTW uppercase letters are read in the evil sounds-like-he's-talking-through-a-megaphone kind of way)

Oh, and Amzer's flag burns. For no apparent reason.

My avatar speaks for itself (Z-Saber solves everything). If you don't think so, take it up with him.

I go fuckin' DAWG on your ass.

GRRRR!

I pick you up with my foot and hurl you several feet, yeah General Grievous is capable of that (I'm terrified of what the sociopaths in this thread have in store for me though)

I activate a giant electromagnet, which catches your armor and immobilises you against it. I then stand opposite you and throw knives, which fly towards the electromagnet and impale you.

i burn you with my toaster till you die

Ah, my archnemesis eatmorebabiesmmg00d. You shall suffer at the hands of my GIANT TOASTER. WITH NO CHANCE OF ESCAPE. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

I expose lambi89 to inordinate amounts of Boris. If that doesn't kill you, you'll at least be laughing on the floor so much that you are rendered incapable of attacking.

I strangle you with my scarf.