Finish the sentence...

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the milkman!

I am in the prime of my life! I'm hot, young and full of. . .

...spunk from only the dirtiest hobo around.

If a gremlin is allowed to eat after midnight a second time, they become...

...big, fat, sweaty ogres.

My home is...

a very unpleasant place.

Daddy drinks because of . . .

...a bad deal.

A little bird told me...

things you would not believe could come out of a bird's mouth!

Hey, if you come back to my place i'll show you. . .

...that dick almighty!

Spooky little...

...girls are sexy.

I play F.E.A.R. for the...

....indie cred

This post I........

...reconsider.

Fear not ladies...

...I don't expect to be rewarded with sex like some kind of desperate creep.

After skeptics, critics, abridgers, cute animals, un-boxing, countdown lists, let's plays, and screeching lets-plays; the next big Youtube sensation will be...

...pretend snuff films.

There's a foul...

...premise afoot in this house.

I planted in the forest...

...a hatchet in a tree as a warning.

Top ten...

...Thousand Background Orcs will put to rest the eternal debate over who is the best.

The secret to a pacifist run in Dragon Age is...

...it can't be done.

Little miss muffet...

....Grew tired of people making stories about her tuffet.

An itsy bitsy spider.......

...can bite through anything with literal metal fangs that some of them actually have.

If vertebrates were made by God and arthropods were made by Satan, fungi were made by...

...Pestilence.

Well, boil my...

boots.

I can't believe it's not . . .

...a real monster when they built the puppet with so many realistic insides!

Without traveling there ourselves, we can only guess the hospitality of...

the gunny bears.

Why isn't there...

...another A-grade dinosaur movie franchise besides Jurassic Park/World?

If your job was to investigate a plague that has ravaged your fantasy town, surely you were picked for your skills and/or experience as a...

plumber.

After finally caving to years of pressure, the Washington Redskins have officially been renamed the Washington . . .

.....Wash baskets.

The Cleveland Indians however........

are now the Cleveland Idiots.

Hello ladies, want to see my. . .

collection of high tech sex toys?

The best round of Cards against humanity I ever played went as follows. . .

...everyone stomped the cards into the dirt because they're just cardboard.

Everybody do the...

bender!

My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of . . .

...LIVE, DIE, AND LIVE AGAIN!

At this rate, in a few decades, the only remaining taboo will be...

inanimate objectsexual marriage.

I blacked out on new year's eve only to awaken to. . .

...1,000 years in the future, where a one-eyed woman tried to draft me into a lame delivery job.

Luckily, I instead got a job as...

A background character in the new blade runner movie. Blade runner 64: Blade harder

Up round where the river bends........

...is where you can paint with all the colors of the wind.

My tree-granny once told me...

you're barking up the wrong tree!

I know, that pun I just made was. . .

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