Finish the sentence...

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...frogs who only sing when only the pharoah is looking.

The funniest glitch ever is when...

the president's pants exploded!

Here, hold my. . .

unstable mixture of chemicals!

A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with. . .

...an accidental demonstration of talent or skill that saves lives from a near-disaster that nobody predicted.

When the Tell No Tales hackers are caught, Disney will...

... make a movie about them starring Dane DeHaan.

In the next Sonic game, you...

... get to play as Dr. Eggman for most of the game.

If ever there were a time to...

...time a warewolf there, it would be ever so iffy.

Once I have a ninja in every color of the rainbow, I can...

start my own saturday morning cartoon franchise!

For Lent I am giving up. . .

...the clothes on my back.

Given that I'll just make new clothing from the lent, the joke is clearly on...

Catholicism.

Yes, because the universe needed you. Me? You've finally become the panda you were always meant to be. How'd you know I could? On the first day we met! I saw. . .

the future of Kung Fu, and the past. I saw the panda who could unite them both. That is why I choose you Po, both sides of the yin and yang, and my true successor.

What made my first kiss so awkward was. . .

...that her branching tongue had too many suction-cups.

The next time an indie developer tries to silence criticism, the game they're defending tasks the player with...

sitting on a bucket all day.

I thought she was going to be the one, until I found out. . .

...she aspires to enslave the last mammals by trapping them in caves and catching seeds in our webs to feed them, but I'd much rather they go extinct.

Besides, spider-silk is more productively used as...

a tool for slinging around NYC!

when all else fails, I can always pleasure myself to. . .

...the sight of my conjoined sister in the mirror.

In No Man's Sky, the way to unlock the secret REAL ending is to...

.....Trade the game back into the shop you got it from.

This message is brought to you......

...yourself, from the future!

But the future I left behind will...

terrify you beyond all reason.

I know you didn't mean to leave me. . .

...with that pack of ravenous children.

But it worked out really well now that I negotiated; instead of being eaten, I could...

teach them to mambo!

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become. . .

...a dead gorilla, according to you.

The reason you say these things in multiple threads is...

because I can **** it!

Call the law firm of Richardson and Richardson, because in the work place no one should ever have to tolerate. . .

...the unholy stench of somebody having smoked recently.

There are obvious clues that the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. comics are actually a direct sequel to the old TV series M.A.S.H., like...

the one letter difference in the names!

I drink to forget. . .

...how it feels to be thirsty.

So Steam tells me the download time for Payday 2 is going to be 2 days and 5 hours, but 6 hours later...

it is .0001 percent complete!

That makes me so angry I . . .

...can't believe it rushed through the last 99.9999% in just seconds!

The best book I ever read was about a farmer who defended his farm against a war-march of ravenous ants; he was only able to win by...

burning them all to a crisp.

I regret to inform you you have been diagnosed with. . .

...perfect health, which makes you an unwilling test-subject given your disgusting life-style.

Once we've learned all we can from your body, you will be...

forever immortalized in lovely crystal!

Everyone go. . .

...to the bathroom at once, or you'll die!

When my post-count matches the year, I'll...

- burn this site to the ground.

I like -

...troll-praising Ubisoft and their games.

The most impressive cosplay ever was...

- the war troll covered in pillows.

I don't know why people -

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