Finish the sentence...

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 NEXT
 

.....Cripple us with fervent want.

roll a D20 to see if......

You don't detonate the bomb at the heart of the universe!

I have a gun pointed at the head of. . .

...your fine self even though the bomb is too small to do any damage.

The reason is that I just want you dead, because of all the times that you...

finished my sentences with well timed dick jokes!

If god didn't want us to enjoy serfdom, he wouldn't have given us. . .

Edit: (**** it that was supposed to be SERFDOM!)

sefs to enjoy.

I can sing it up, I can...

pee hands free!

When pharoah remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of . . .

...frogs who only sing when only the pharoah is looking.

The funniest glitch ever is when...

the president's pants exploded!

Here, hold my. . .

unstable mixture of chemicals!

A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with. . .

...an accidental demonstration of talent or skill that saves lives from a near-disaster that nobody predicted.

When the Tell No Tales hackers are caught, Disney will...

... make a movie about them starring Dane DeHaan.

In the next Sonic game, you...

... get to play as Dr. Eggman for most of the game.

If ever there were a time to...

...time a warewolf there, it would be ever so iffy.

Once I have a ninja in every color of the rainbow, I can...

start my own saturday morning cartoon franchise!

For Lent I am giving up. . .

...the clothes on my back.

Given that I'll just make new clothing from the lent, the joke is clearly on...

Catholicism.

Yes, because the universe needed you. Me? You've finally become the panda you were always meant to be. How'd you know I could? On the first day we met! I saw. . .

the future of Kung Fu, and the past. I saw the panda who could unite them both. That is why I choose you Po, both sides of the yin and yang, and my true successor.

What made my first kiss so awkward was. . .

...that her branching tongue had too many suction-cups.

The next time an indie developer tries to silence criticism, the game they're defending tasks the player with...

sitting on a bucket all day.

I thought she was going to be the one, until I found out. . .

...she aspires to enslave the last mammals by trapping them in caves and catching seeds in our webs to feed them, but I'd much rather they go extinct.

Besides, spider-silk is more productively used as...

a tool for slinging around NYC!

when all else fails, I can always pleasure myself to. . .

...the sight of my conjoined sister in the mirror.

In No Man's Sky, the way to unlock the secret REAL ending is to...

.....Trade the game back into the shop you got it from.

This message is brought to you......

...yourself, from the future!

But the future I left behind will...

terrify you beyond all reason.

I know you didn't mean to leave me. . .

...with that pack of ravenous children.

But it worked out really well now that I negotiated; instead of being eaten, I could...

teach them to mambo!

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become. . .

...a dead gorilla, according to you.

The reason you say these things in multiple threads is...

because I can **** it!

Call the law firm of Richardson and Richardson, because in the work place no one should ever have to tolerate. . .

...the unholy stench of somebody having smoked recently.

There are obvious clues that the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. comics are actually a direct sequel to the old TV series M.A.S.H., like...

the one letter difference in the names!

I drink to forget. . .

...how it feels to be thirsty.

So Steam tells me the download time for Payday 2 is going to be 2 days and 5 hours, but 6 hours later...

it is .0001 percent complete!

That makes me so angry I . . .

...can't believe it rushed through the last 99.9999% in just seconds!

The best book I ever read was about a farmer who defended his farm against a war-march of ravenous ants; he was only able to win by...

burning them all to a crisp.

I regret to inform you you have been diagnosed with. . .

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here