Finish the sentence...

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.....Cripple us with fervent want.

roll a D20 to see if......

You don't detonate the bomb at the heart of the universe!

I have a gun pointed at the head of. . .

...your fine self even though the bomb is too small to do any damage.

The reason is that I just want you dead, because of all the times that you...

finished my sentences with well timed dick jokes!

If god didn't want us to enjoy serfdom, he wouldn't have given us. . .

Edit: (**** it that was supposed to be SERFDOM!)

sefs to enjoy.

I can sing it up, I can...

pee hands free!

When pharoah remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of . . .

...frogs who only sing when only the pharoah is looking.

The funniest glitch ever is when...

the president's pants exploded!

Here, hold my. . .

unstable mixture of chemicals!

A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with. . .

...an accidental demonstration of talent or skill that saves lives from a near-disaster that nobody predicted.

When the Tell No Tales hackers are caught, Disney will...

... make a movie about them starring Dane DeHaan.

In the next Sonic game, you...

... get to play as Dr. Eggman for most of the game.

If ever there were a time to...

...time a warewolf there, it would be ever so iffy.

Once I have a ninja in every color of the rainbow, I can...

start my own saturday morning cartoon franchise!

For Lent I am giving up. . .

...the clothes on my back.

Given that I'll just make new clothing from the lent, the joke is clearly on...

Catholicism.

Yes, because the universe needed you. Me? You've finally become the panda you were always meant to be. How'd you know I could? On the first day we met! I saw. . .

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