I left you because......

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For not sharing his chocolate cupcake.

Because Captcha fired me and I cannot maintain our relationship without money, you're quite an expensive date >:(

Because I had a vision of our future.

You killed me because of a poorly cooked omelette.

You tried to make an omelette without breaking any eggs

Because you stole my car.

Because you charged too much (hey-o!)

Because you called Shock a prostitute, or at least implied it, and I disapprove.

Because you have no sense of humor.

Because you have no sense of propriety

You stole my credit card to fund your weird hat ponzi scheme!
I didn't just leave you, I reported you to the cops!

Because you left the cult.

Lord Melthais was angered over your departure.......He cut off my hand.

Because you're always driving that bus.

Well it would appear that you like to shoot at me, so I believe I am in my rights to leave you.

Because you love your sword more than you love me.

Your eyes aren't the same side, which just strikes me as odd.

Because your country currently has the ashes.

Because we're always in that stupid road to nowhere and you don't even bring your ukulele >:(

Blue scarves are so last season.

Because you kept shooting me.

Because she can't take a few bullets, how am I supposed to use you as a shield if you can't take bullets >:(

For not using magic as a shield.

For being naive and believing my magic.

For never not wearing that hat.

Because I like you more than I like you.

Because I find you too interesting.

You stole my credit cards, what did you think I'd do.

Because today sucks all because of you.

Because you told me about sports.

Because you consider that a terrible thing.

Because it is. >.>

Because your reasons for leaving people seem at least a little silly.

I left you because you won't try out the new Doritos Taco, available only at your nearest Taco Bell!

A man with your fine tastes would love it

because you clearly like tacos more than soup

off topic: YAY I'm back!

Because I had to go buy some cookies, but I'm back now

You didn't bring me any cookies! I feel betrayed! D:

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