If above user's avatar showed up on your doorstep...

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My, that's quite the fancy hat you got there, Dragon. Please don't eat me.

You stabbed my sister, you stabbed my mother, then you stabbed AND raped me! Ya think I ain't prepared for ya? *Turns on the anti-yandere defenses; the eternity of the house is now covered with laser cannons* Well think again!

Why are three middle schoolers at my door in helmets? Well, not the weirdest thing to pop through this door.

Oh, hello, miss. What can I do for you?

...Miss? Are you alright?

...Please don't hurt me...

If you don't stop dancing you won't fit through the door. No? Suit yourself.

Well aren't you an adorable sourpuss. *hugs*

I didn't hear that could you say that again?

*grabs hammer* Die spawn of Satan!!!!!!

Well that's going to stop right now.

Immediately shuts door, grabs, nearest weapon, and calls the police.

Geez, why do people love dancing on my front door. -_-

Fuck those little shitheads always ringing the b- Whaa! where did you come from?!

The delicious rabbits went that-a-way!

Are you KGB?

I is KGB too! Hail Mother Russia!

*slams door*

You have red eyes. Vampire!

*Runs to the kitchen to get garlic.*

Make myself some rabbit stew

Yes, I will dial A for Anarchy. You have told me this before.

...Is that blood or raspberry jam? Are you here to sell me some jam?

Because I'm all out. You came at the right time.

Huh... I've got a gun...

Damn, you are dirty. *Washes the dirt away with a garden hose.*

I would attempt to fuck it.

To be fair, I'd have said that no matter what the avatar was. (I'm quite horny)

Well you're creepier than a walker *slams door*

Would...would you like a bath? You seem to rather...need it.

Come in! Come in! Say, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Get away! I have a gun can shoot lasers out of my eyes.

Would you care for a moist towelette? You've got a bit of red on you...

Yeah, um... go away... *closes door*

No I don't know where the cosplay convention is being held. But maybe my neighbors know.

Don't come any closer... or don't go away. I can't tell which!

Are you 18 or older?

If the answer is no. Then go away.

If it's yes. then

Man I shouldn't have drunk that moonshine with Nick...

Wow you don't look too good. I'm calling child services.

Can't tell if going to stab or impress with magic trick.

What am I even looking at?

*Closes the door and prepares to make a last stand in the attic*

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