If above user's avatar showed up on your doorstep...

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why did you put an exercise machine on my porch

I'd go: A digital item in the real world? SKYNET IS ATTACKING! RUN FOR IT!

Welcome to the shop of doom we have a fine selection today.

*Opens door*

Oh it's just you, *sigh* what are you selling?

What the hell are you doing with two sticks and that body?

Come right on in. I only say that to avoid the punch. I'm so smarts.

@Sassafrass: Geez. What a horrible visitor. I open the door after they knock, then they punch me in the face D:
I don't think I'll open my door any time soon again.

Above (Ninja): well, it would certainly be awkward, opening my front door only to see a cute kitten get hit by a Predator missile...

I'd laugh along with you.

It's funny when you don't know what's funny.

is it time for my check up

Nice hat. Want to go to the pub?

O hai! Would you like some tea?

Yes, I would love some thank you darling.

Do you use sugar cubes or just regular sugar?
I've never seen a sugar cube

Just sugar

Um... Can I help you?

Autographs autographs!!!!

I'd be scared stiff

Oh shit hide the bodies!

I woudn't have a doorstep... or a house.

Wonder who the hell threw a brick saying "crying is okay here" at my doorstep!

Wonders why the purple haired girl is standing there

You'll never kill me alive!

*runs into other room, and rolls back in with shotgun*

I thought you were just here

Sleekgiant:
I thought you were just here

As were you.

I blew you off my porch, didn't I?

no I vanished mysteriously

I'd invite you in for a drink of whiskey and smoke with you.

Hail the great... um... you are the leader of what exactly? Ah, it dosen't matter, come on in!

Huh. I really need to set bigger mousetraps. Or maybe get a really big cat.

*Shuts door, walks back inside*

Um... Are you enjoying that meat, by any chance? *backs away slowly*

Urk!
*squish*

Hide?

I'd have to panic. Why is there a floating head -floating- above my doorstep?
Damn creepy, if ye ask this one.

I'm not quite sure what your doing here. But your big eyes are starting to hypnotise me into letting you in...

I would stand there. Perplexed. I would cock my head just so. And you would yours in kind. And we would continue this dance. We would dance this dance for all of time. And then we would die.

I'd ask to wear his top hat.

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