Because his pain has just become my permanent occupation.

He tried to poison me!

He cheated!

Cause he's sucking rainbow sewage up from the toilet.

Conspiracy to commit grand theft sandvich.

To see how the swollen bits of the goat hurt.

To see him finaly still, and not dancing all the time.

They killed my family! And I don't like that sort of thing.

He's human scum and I forgot my human killing kit.

What, you need a reason? Hitting somebody is its own point.

I dislike twins
They are unnatural
I am doing the world good by punching both of them.

For making me think the word "avalanche" was in your username which raised my spirits before I took a closer look. That's as punch-worthy a reason as any.

You don't like my name?

Impersonating me

Impersonating himself.

He knows what he did.

Is on fire. Maybe if I hit him hard enough, I can beat the flames off him and save his life.

I will hit him because he ninja'd me.

Because he's got more posts than me.

Envy

Violence. Hit the sinner!

For being stupid enough to put his eyeballs in his hands.

I'd hit him simply to bump my post count higher.

Bumping
YOU MUST DIE

He knows too much!

I hate clowns.

I'd hit him because because Squaresoft's translation team didn't know what piece of Irish mythology that cat is referencing.

I'd hit him because he's not in colors.

Because his avatar is Cat Shit who deserves a good punch.

Because he has dirty hands.

Because I couldn't control my hand when his avatar sent me into seizures.