Granted, but your life ends along with the story.

I wish I had a better singing voice.

Granted, but you turn deaf, you'll never hear your own voice!

I wish I had me some Starbucks...

Granted, an employee spits in all of your food and drinks.

I wish top unlock a Quarion Engineer in the Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer demo.

Granted, but you'll get a suit rupture.

I wish I were able to pull off a Falcon Punch

Granted, but there will always be someone who reaches a higher Super Saiyan level and kiscks your arse.

I wish I had a Portal gun.

Granted, but it can only have one portal open at a time. (I think that ruins it? x3)

I wish I could slap Duke Nukem.

Granted, but you can only slap his bum..

I wish I had rocket launcher..

Granted, rockets sold seperately

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted, but you're aquaman.

I wish for a trillion dollars.

Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish I was more suave.

Granted, but you're now the shampoo

I wish I had the original Adam West Batmobile!

granted, but it doesn't work and is infested with giant unkillable hornets!
I wish i was immortal

Granted, but throughout your life you witness humanity die off in one giant war that you couldn't stop. Also the Earth is destroyed by aliens and you live forever floating through space, never to encounter another living being again.

I wish I could control water.

Granted, but the Fire nation is out to get you.

I wish I could understand and speak to animals.

Granted. You're now very meek and timid when talking to others, like somepony I know.

I wish I had a pony.

Granted, you are the newest cast member for Jersey Shore!

I wish the moon would blow up.

Granted, but a chunk of it lands on your house.

I wish you posted a wish that I could grant

Granted, but it is so sophisticated, you are stupified as to what to do.

I wish I could play guitar like Jimi Hendrix.

Granted but you earn the ire of a bunch of stuck up musical elitist who drown you in self assured superiority. It is not a good(nor sanitary) way to go

I wish real life was a creepy surreal anime a la Zetsubou sensei or Dead leaves

Granted, you can only make it drizzle.

I wish for a lazer.

Granted, but you can never fire it.

I wish for more Lemon Pledge.

Consuela: No.......no.

I wish for more Gushers

Granted, but it is achieved 1 second after you die.

I wiah for a rainbow fudge sundae.

Granted, put the rainbow was puked out by someone.

I wish for mental stability.

Granted. You gain this mental stability from experimental brain surgery that leaves you with almost none of your original personality.

I wish for a giant's knife.

Granted. You become so good that you can't ruin a wish due to you always getting a better idea.

I wish for a piece of my own roast ass to eat.

Granted... Err... it's too salty?

I wish I had an unlimited supply of beer!

Granted, but it tastes like mustache hair and its too salty.

I wish there was a huge innovation in the fighting or leveling mechanics of Pokemon games.

Granted, but it will turn into a generic FPS where grenades are replaced with Pokeballs.

I wish I had Korean StarCraft II skills.