Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, rockets sold seperately

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted, but you're aquaman.

I wish for a trillion dollars.

Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish I was more suave.

Granted, but you're now the shampoo

I wish I had the original Adam West Batmobile!

granted, but it doesn't work and is infested with giant unkillable hornets!
I wish i was immortal

Granted, but throughout your life you witness humanity die off in one giant war that you couldn't stop. Also the Earth is destroyed by aliens and you live forever floating through space, never to encounter another living being again.

I wish I could control water.

Granted, but the Fire nation is out to get you.

I wish I could understand and speak to animals.

Granted. You're now very meek and timid when talking to others, like somepony I know.

I wish I had a pony.

Granted but rabid internet haters come and slaughter it for its meat in front of your very eyes.

I wish for drama!

Granted, you are the newest cast member for Jersey Shore!

I wish the moon would blow up.

Granted, but a chunk of it lands on your house.

I wish you posted a wish that I could grant

Granted, but it is so sophisticated, you are stupified as to what to do.

I wish I could play guitar like Jimi Hendrix.

Granted but you earn the ire of a bunch of stuck up musical elitist who drown you in self assured superiority. It is not a good(nor sanitary) way to go

I wish real life was a creepy surreal anime a la Zetsubou sensei or Dead leaves

Granted, you can only make it drizzle.

I wish for a lazer.

Granted, but you can never fire it.

I wish for more Lemon Pledge.

Consuela: No.......no.

I wish for more Gushers

Granted but you explode with flavor.

I wish for peace on Earth.

Granted, but it is achieved 1 second after you die.

I wiah for a rainbow fudge sundae.

Granted, put the rainbow was puked out by someone.

I wish for mental stability.

Granted. You gain this mental stability from experimental brain surgery that leaves you with almost none of your original personality.

I wish for a giant's knife.

Granted, it falls on you.

I wish for better ways to ruin wishes.

Granted. You become so good that you can't ruin a wish due to you always getting a better idea.

I wish for a piece of my own roast ass to eat.

Granted... Err... it's too salty?

I wish I had an unlimited supply of beer!

Granted, but it tastes like mustache hair and its too salty.

I wish there was a huge innovation in the fighting or leveling mechanics of Pokemon games.

Granted, but it will turn into a generic FPS where grenades are replaced with Pokeballs.

I wish I had Korean StarCraft II skills.

Granted but your hands are chopped off by jealous neighborhood gamers.

I wish for blood!

Granted but it's for the blood god.

I wish for more obscure classic rock.

Granted. Your thirst for obscure classic rock soon turns into a thirst for just obscure things. You can now only enjoy the really obscure things, meaning 90% of the time you are going to hate anything you watch/read/do/whatever.

I wish my keyboard would stop having seizures.

granted, it dies..

I wish my friends had better tastes in video games..

Granted, but all of them will turn into elitists.

I wish I could fly a plane.

Granted but your license is suspended after you get high while you get high.

I wish for magic.

Granted here is a Magic the gathering card.

I wish that there will be more than four episodes of Friday nights.

Granted, but too bad the station screwed up and revived Tuesday Nights instead.

I wish there was vanilla Pepsi.

granted, but it's been open for 3 weeks..

I wish for peace on earth

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