Granted, but now the world is drowned in Pepsi.

I wish for a horse.

Granted. You get Jerry.

I wish for a Master level Destruction spell. I want to rain doom upon my enemies.

Granted but there are 5 seconds of the night left.

I wish for a faster internet connection.

Idsertian:
Granted, but now the world is drowned in Pepsi.

Close enough.

OT: Granted, but your only allowed to use it for a minute.

I wish for for a katana.

Granted, but he's only there to mug you.

I wish I was content.

Granted, but it's so powerful and lands so many strikes that the roads and power grid are damaged for months afterwards.

I wish for an Easter egg.

Granted, but it's rotten. Also you eat it and it poisons you.

I wish that I had Mass Effect 3. :(

Granted. Garrus has been removed entirely from your copy, rendering it worthless.

I wish I had a Garrus plushie.

Granted. But it has no head.

I wish for a Buster sword.

kingk170299:
Granted. But it has no head.

I wish for a Buster sword.

Granted, but it's blunt, cannot be sharpened and offers no Materia growth.

I wish for more variety in the console market once more.

Granted, but they're all shovel ware, gimmicky crap. Should've made clear on quality as well friend.

That said, I wish for more QUALITY in the console market

Granted. All quality is sucked out of everything else, just so the console market gets quality.

I wish for a massive flame war about bread.

Granted. The bread is burnt in the process.

I wish for WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Denied, but you can conquer 49% if you want.

I wish for a really cool hat!

All yours, but it's microscopic and I lost it sorry...

I wish for something tasty.

Granted. Here, have a chocolate bar.

It was the last one on Earth

errm no wish there your life is ruined.

I wish fo a zimbabway dollar.

Francois Hilton:
errm no wish there your life is ruined.

I wish fo a zimbabway dollar.

Bollocks. Forgot my wish. Well, at least I haven't got one to ruin.

. . . Although I guess now I have to make one for the next guy. And ruin yours.

OT: Granted, but due to the recent apocalypse, all money has become worthless. And it gave you a paper cut.

Umm, I wish for a top hat, black as the night sky, with a nice red ribbon.

(ha they're already worthless)

you can have a hat but because it's so black you didn't notice it was filled with tar.

I wish I had a paper aeroplane

Granted, but it's under the control of the Paper Consortium and is fitted with under-wing machine guns. You are killed by a million paper cuts from the bullets.

And one for Paya Chin! Granted, the boot was uber flammable and the bit of sunlight causes them to burst into flames, immolating you.

I wish for pants!

granted, but made out of a blend of cotton and fire ants.

I want competent team mates in League of Legends

Granted. You suddenly hear the growling of a puma behind you.

I wish for more soda.

Granted, however it's flat and warm and has dead bugs in it..

Give me the complete collapse of physics! Mwahahahaha!

Granted, no more Half Life 2 for you.

I wish I had red eyes.

Granted...ITS YOUR BLOOD, oh god it's overflowing, quick clean up on isle death!

I wish for infinite lightning.

Granted, as it pulses from your body you suffer agonizing pain and burns, and you are unable to control it.

I wish for a Balanced Champion in League of Legends.

Granted, there is now a flea that writes and sings folk songs somewhere in the world.

I wish for Firefly to be back on the air!

Granted.
It features none of the original cast and it's completely different.

I wish for an electrical generator that creates power from milk. Just milk.

Granted, but it only runs off the milk produced by pregant, 92 year old Mongolian tanners, and you have to milk them yourself.

I wish every time I sneezed some random person was resurrected.