Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, but then a hunter catches you and boils you alive for some food.

I wish my Computing GCSE wasn't so hard.

Granted: Funding cuts for education cause your teacher to lose his job.

I wish for a Fistful of Dollars.

Granted, the book will be delivered to you in six to eight weeks, we accept payment in cash only.

I wish for a banana split!

Granted, buy you only get half the banana.

I wish for UNLIMITED POWAH!!!!!

Granted, you get a life time's supply of POWAH BRAND CEREAL! But it's all expired..

I wish a shave and a haircut cost only two bits.

Granted, but you get shaved by a chainsaw.

I wish my wish is unwished.

Granted, but I wished a wish for you instead!

I wish Nouw's wish was re-wished!

Granted, but now it's re-wished into oblivion!

I wish that the confusion would stop!

Granted, now the chaos begins!

I wish for a box of mittins.

Granted, but they are all made of dead kittens.

I wish we could all get along

Granted, but no one ever becomes more than acquaintances

I wish to learn another langauge

Granted, but it's gibberish

I wish my car wasn't broken down

Granted, but your car is going to explode in 3...2...1

KA-BOOM!

I wish they made another movie with Ash Williams in it.

granted, but he is now played by toby mcguire and his chainsaw is replaced by a dildo that shoots silly string

I wish i could go to sleep

granted, but you will wake up every hour because the dog is bored.

i wish my cold would go away.

Granted, now you have the typhoid!

I wish I had another Ham 'n Egger from A&W.

Granted but it is crawling with the Ebola virus.

I wish for a pencil.

Granted. It's really big. Really, really big. Like, huge, man.

I wish for cake that is true.

Granted. It's a 4 year old stale cake.

I wish for a foot of greased might.

Granted. Er... you're eaten by clowns who want it.

/mutters to self, "greased might?"

I wish for worldwide recognition.

Granted...for a day before people find something else to talk about.

I wish for the curfew on my computing hours to be dropped.

Valkyrie101:
Granted. It's really big. Really, really big. Like, huge, man.

I wish for cake that is true.

Hey, I haven't seen you around lately...

OT: Granted but now your computer is on fire.

I wish someone would quote this post.

Granted, but something glitched..

I wish there was a middle aged Japanese woman that would adopt me as her own.

Granted: She makes you work in the homosexual brothel that she runs.

I wish for constipation (Ha, try and "ruin" that!).

Granted, but a whale dropped on your head while you were enjoying it. (There, ruined the experience)

I wish the person below me exploded.

Granted, but the explosion kills you too.

I wish for John Lennon to perform for me at my house!

Granted, but he's a zombie and eats your brains while performing.

I wish for a golden egg.

Granted, but it hatches into a golden dragon that destroys your town.

I wish for it not to rain tomorrow.

Granted, it hails instead.

I wish George Lucas would move on.

He moves on, and into your house. Now George Lucas is banging your mom and giving you intimate details on how he wanted Jar Jar Binks to be a Jedi.

I wish I could read minds

Granted. Such a shame how much everyone secretly hates you.

Redlin5:

Valkyrie101:
Granted. It's really big. Really, really big. Like, huge, man.

I wish for cake that is true.

Hey, I haven't seen you around lately...

OT: Granted but now your computer is on fire.

I wish someone would quote this post.

Well, I dropped out of FG for a few months for no particular reason. Wish granted, but the quoter calls you a massive cunt.

--------

I wish for a horse.

Granted, but it's a rabid horse that bites you. Spreading his rabies.

I wish I never had to eat just to survive again. Strictly for pleasure.

Granted, but you only find pleasure in the foods you currently don't like, and the foods you do like, you don't.

I wish I can be a contestant in Jeopardy.

Granted but alex rapes you

i wish i was the next american idol

Granted but you are assassinated at the final ceremony.

I wish for a piece of lint.

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