Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. It doesn't sink as you probably desire, instead everyone gets a nasty stomach bug.

I wish I had tentacles.

Granted, but they are around your vagina.

I wish I had a fresh bottle of vodka.

Granted, but it's spiked and you fall into a coma.

I wish to become King of England.

Granted but an angry Scotsman comes and murders you.

I wish for more Minecraft.

Granted.

I wish that I was done with classes forever. :/

Granted. You are hit by a meteor and die. No more classes, though!

I wish I could conjure objects out thin air by thinking about them.

Granted but it's only the future of James P. Borington.

I wish for a menu.

Granted, but the brain used to belong to Kim Kardashian.

I wish I had an awesome PC to play Skyrim on so I had access to mods.

Granted. You are now 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 nanometres taller.

I wish I didn't grow facial hair.

Granted. FORE!

*hits you with a golf club*

I wish I understood what a baller was.

Tell you what it was then hit you in the head with a bat to give you brain damage.

I wish I could control time.

Not sure if two wishes or one....I'll grant it like it is one.

Granted. A girl called "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 Impala" appears. She has 20/20 vision, however she looks like the elephant man.

I wish I got an A in every exam I do.

you can! to bad your familly and loved ones cant! enjoy the rest of your life on the moon alone!

i wish my wish wasnt ruined!

Granted, but as you didn't make any other wish it becomes redundant :P

I wish I could breathe under water.

Granted but now air makes you fall asleep.

I wish I could run long distance.

Granted, but you can't seem to stop. Eventually you wear your legs down to stumps, then you end up dragging yourself along, then, finally, you end up as a wet lump somewhere with a long smear behind you stretching off in the distance.

I wish ponies farted rainbows.

Fine, but this proves lethal for the ponies and they all die out before you see it :P

I wish the above poster had a wish.

Granted but his wish was so evil that your eyes fail to recognise it.

I wish for a restful day.

Granted. You're dead.

I wish my 5 hour chili was finished cooking.

granted, you know of the words: "the unified equation that explains all there is and all there will ever be in our Universe."

I wish it would snow, just a couple inches maybe.

Granted. Then it quickly turns to slippy black ice.

I wish I were a super genius hacker.

Granted. You fall into a moral event horizon, never to be seen again!

I wish my vote was worth 51% of the entire electorate.

Granted. You still manage to elect the party that destroys the country.

I wish for fish.

Granted. You get a Lion fish, with the stingers still attached.

I wish everything fun was banned.

Granted, but you are a fun person so..... off with his head???

I wish I could walk through walls.

Granted. The wall absorbs an article of your clothing each time you walk through one.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

Granted. But you are the 5th Doctor

I wish to be healed of my illness.

Granted, then you get a new illness that is much, much worse.

I wish I had an unlimited number of wishes.

Granted. Each one irreversibly takes off half your remaining lifespan.

I wish I had super telepathy.

Granted. It is a rare Enormous Albanian Hell Spider. It can shape itself into a ball(and thus could theoretically roll down stairs), is known to occasionally travel in pairs, is definitely big enough to run over a dog, but small enough to fit on your back. Furthermore, they taste delicious if you can actually kill one. But it will probably kill you first, as the Enormous Albanian Hell Spider is well-known for it's hatred of humanity, mostly because of our kindness. Enormous Albanian Hell Spiders HATE kindness.

I wish all my homework was done.

EDIT: Incidentally, what the hell is going on in your avatar? It's been bugging me for a while now.

Granted. *pulls down pants*
I wish to be dead right now.

Granted, but you won't be able to control it. You will Now float until you reach outer space, where you will die of asphyxiaton

I wish that i can think of a wish that can't be ruined

Granted, but your power only works when you are extremely drunk.

I wish alcohol didn't affect me the day after. :P

Granted. You shall die now, so that the alcohol won't affect you the day after :)
I wish for ten more wishes

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