Granted, you fly too close to the sun and burn.
I wish that I had a Tardis.
Granted you have a Tardis during the Last Great Time War. With no way to escape you die in battle.
I wish my shirt was green instead of navy.
Granted but it's an awful neon green that was hip in the 80s. People make fun of you for being behind on the times.
I wish I could smoke a Cuban cigar right now.
Granted. You light it up, and it explode it. Ain't I a stinker.
I wish that people would make new episodes of Tom and Jerry that are actually GOOD and FUNNY
Granted but they are lost in a fire.
I wish for pancakes.
Granted. However they're burnt.
I wish I ran Mitt Romney's Presidential campaign.
Granted. Romney fires you for actually being sane.
I wish for a TAR-
I wish that I had a Tardis.
God damn it! Fine...I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.
Granted. You get the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver, and he's none too happy that you've stolen it.
I wish Thief 4 was out.
Granted, it's now a JRPG.
I wish for bunnies.
I wish for a never ending pint of beer
Granted. the glass breaks, and it floods beer.
I wish for... a kid.
Granted, but it's one of those Bait Kids. You are arrested and sent to ass rape jail.
I wish to listen to Bach.
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Is that Bach?
I wish for ICE CREAM!
Granted, but it's flavored with the blood of your ancestors.
I wish for Keith to shut up.
Granted. But because Keith doesn't talk anymore, the world stops spinning. Since the world stops spinning, the sun settles in a stationary position over your house. You die of dehydration.
I wish for cake.
the cake is a
lie poisoned cake. You die of dysentery.
I wish for a world without spelling or grammar errors
Granted. The world now has no written language. You cannot read what I am typing now. You die because you don't understand the instructions printed on the side of a fire extinguisher.
I wish for a top hat.
Here is your top hat sir. Did you want It on fire? No.....? Too bad son,".
I wish for a sandvich
Granted. However Heavy has noticed that you stole his Sandvich and turns you into a puddle of red goo using Sasha.
I wish for Sasha.
granted, but you also got backstabed
I want a flamethrower
Granted but you get no fuel. And you get backstabbed
I want a Sniper Rifle.
Granted. The recoil ends up breaking your shoulder. And you don't have a Razorback, so you get backstabbed.
I wish for the Engie's PDA.
granted, but you are on randomizer and that is all you get.
I want fish to hit people with
Granted, but it stinks so badly it somehow causes Cardiac arrest in your victims, and you are imprisoned for murder.
I wish I had pheromones that made me attractive to females.
granted but you forgot to mention what species so I sprayed you with a pheromone that will make cats wild for you.
I wish for a car
Granted. Once you started driving, you noticed that there's a bomb attached under it, and if you go under 40 mph, it will explode.
I wish for an action movie
Granted. It is directed by Uwe Boll and produced by Micheal Bay. it is so bad you bleed to death after watching it.
I wish for a monkey
Granted. It plays constant sadistic pranks.
I wish for UNLIMITED POWER.
just stick a knife in an active toaster bro :)
I wish for the only thing that I will ever hear is nyan cat
Granted. You become sick of it, then hate it utterly and completely and go insane.
I wish I could temporarily null gravity.
granted. Aliens come and make you sex slaves however.
I wish I could be naked in public and it be the norm for people
Granted, but you are constantly followed by a swarm of flying dicks which go after your butt.
I wish I could mind control anyone with a weak will.
granted. You mind control a scientist and make him build a robot, thus bringing judgement day.
I wish for party!
You have the awesomest party ever!!!!
You get arrested hours later because Illegal drugs were found in your house. And because you were too loud.
I wish that everybody is used to being nude in public and nobody questioned why.
granted. Earth has been taken over by Kim Jon Un who insists on playing the sims using people as the characters. His first move was to install a nude mod.
I wish for Phil Spector not to be in jail