Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. It's on fire.

I wish for a blowjob.

Granted. You find a 2 dollar hooker and get diseased.

I wish for a great big walnut.

Granted but you are crushed underneath it.

I wish for a piece of dust.

Granted. It's in your eye.

I wish I had a jetpack.

Granted but it flew away without you.

I wish for piece of toilet paper.

Granted, but it's pre-used. And 35 years old.

I wish for a talking walrus.

Granted. It talks you into committing suicide.

I wish for banana bread.

Granted, but it's THREE WEEKS OLD!

I wish I didn't have class today.

Granted, instead you have to do a monotonous and repetitive task from nine to five without any pay. Making you appreciate learning.

I wish the people around me right now would stop going on Facebook, watching rap videos on Youtube, and checking their calenders. (I'm in a computer lab right now.)

Granted. All of them display blue waffles fullscreen. With sound effects.

I wish for some cereal in the house that isn't Weetabix.

Granted. Hope you like Arsenic-Os.

I wish I had a mortal enemy.

Granted. He's immortal.

I wish for an army of giant sentient squirrels.

Granted, but it includes these guys.

I wish for a power glove.

Granted. But it's sooo bad.

I wish I had heat in my apartment.

Granted. Your chair is now on fire.

I wish I had a less annoying roommate.

Granted, you now have a remotely controlled bomb for a roommate. Its only annoying once an-

Sounds like you found out.

I wish for a lottery ticket.

Granted. It's inside your liver.

I wish I had more coffee.

Granted. Your house is now flooded with scalding hot coffee.

I wish someone would PM me.

Last of the Chinchillas:
Granted. It's inside your liver.

But... Its inside you then!

Granted. It's Ted Bundy.

I wish I had a non-killer robot.

OH FUUUU-
I forgot about eating your liver.

Granted, it only maims you and lets you bleed to death. It didn't kill you, your bloods lack of co-operation did!

I wish I had a Lego piece.

Granted. It's replaced your heart.

I wish that I could fly.

Granted, but you die being sucked into a 747.

Last of the Chinchillas:
Granted. It's replaced your heart.

So I don't get a Lego piece then... Darn. That guy who took out my heart so I could buy a car must be mighty angry now.

I wish for someone to post below me.

Granted, but it's me who posts. MWAHAHAHAH!

Ahem.

I wish the person below me wouldn't ruin my wish.

Granted, but you have to go live in Lubbock now.

I wish for explosions.

Granted. They're microscopically small and ineffectual.

I wish for a tank.

Granted. He wants to cuddle.

image

I wish I didn't have class today.

Granted, but now you have to join the army instead and your rank is "Fodder, 2nd class".

I wish matter didn't exist.

Granted. Everyone dies because they are made of matter.

I wish I could flog a fish.

Granted, but it's gonna turn into a dead horse after two strokes.

I wish upon a star...

Your burned up by the star you are upon before you can finish your wish.

I wish for a clean pair of socks.

Granted, they're clean because the are made of a meterial which has a pH of 1 in solid form, damn that's caustic. and I don't know how the pH affects cleanliness.

I wish the 'red' captcha was replaced by the 'blue' one we had for like a week.

Granted, but the red one comes alive and kills you for putting it out of a job.

I wish I never go bald.

Granted, but your 'head' hair is now 'pubic' hair. You walked into that one.

I wish my sword class started soon goddamnit.

(Also, would anyone 'ruin' it if someones wish was "I wish my dead mother was alive again?", my friend just asked me that and I was wondering if anyone would.)

Granted. There'll be an unscheduled lesson shortly, when your tutor leaps through your bedroom window with a sabre, demanding that you face him in single combat. With an egg as your weapon.

I wish for candy.

Valkyrie101:
Granted. There'll be an unscheduled lesson shortly, when your tutor leaps through your bedroom window with a sabre, demanding that you face him in single combat. With an egg as your weapon.

I wish for candy.

Sorry, all we have is lead flavored candy.

I wish for my wish to not be corrupted.

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