Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted you receive nothing but fried rice.

I wish for wish granting powers

Granted, you can only grant the power of being able to wish for something to someone else.

I wish for easy tests for my course.

Granted. They're all test chambers. Managed by GLADos.

I wish for more mute protagonists.

Granted, all the side characters get horrible voice actors and the protagonist is portrayed as an annoying cunt.

I wish for a 3DS XL.

Granted, but it has been irreversibly region locked to only play games that you don't understand the language of. (I don't know if this is a thing, I'm not that bothered either way).

I wish people listened to what I say more often.

Granted, all you have to say is nothing but gibberish to them.

I wish for some cotton candy.

Granted, enjoy the 100 tons of it crushing you.

I wish for more work from my job.

Granted you now work 16 hours a day 80 hours a week

I wish I hadn't overslept and missed work today

Granted, you get fired anyway.

I wish I took more showers.

Granted. You took a chemical shower... and die.

I wish for more deaths!

Granted. You die.

I wish for less deadly consequences to my granted wishes. And that people don't snipe me.

Granted, but you get run over by a bus leaving you in a state of coma forever, trapped in the solitude of your mind until you die of old age.

I wish for two belly buttons.

Granted. Instead, people will throw rotten eggs at you whenever they see you.

I wish that there is no such thing as a bad person.

Granted. Aliens find the utopia of Earth and destroy it out of jealousy.

I wish for quick meals.

Granted, they are small, unhealthy and tasteless.

I wish for a tall glass of Coca Cola!

Granted. Your stomach explodes from all that pressurized carbon dioxide.

I wish for moar.

Granted, too much and you are 100% unsatisfied.

I wish for a firetruck!

Granted. It's a toy miniature the size of your thumb.

I wish for cat shit not to smell.

Granted. Now it doesn't smell, but is always twice the size of your house.

I wish Yahtzee will wear the cat ears for an entire panel.

Granted. It is so humiliating he decides to leave the internet.

I wish for 3 more posts.

Granted, you completely miss your 1000th post...and everyone laughs at you!

I wish for Adventure Time episodes to come out faster!

Granted. They come out so fast you spend the rest of your life trying to finish all the episodes. You do nothing else.

I wish for more interesting threads in the Gaming Discussion forums.

Granted...Games about ponies, trolls and that Nathan whatever guy.

Have fun. ^_^

I wish for a...Taco.

Granted but you get that psychictaco guy and all hell breaks lose. Say goodbye to your sanity.

I wish for another RPG as good as Chrono Trigger.

Granted, the game is a blatentrip-off of Chrono Trigger except with a dumbed down story.

I wish for a ringbinder folder!

Granted. Everyone else thinks you're lame and stops being your friend.

I wish for a less hungry cat.

granted. You get a very angry cat instead.

I wish for dubstep

Granted. It's sang by a person two feet in front of you with a lot of saliva in their mouth.

I wish for more funny conversations with my friends.

Granted, It's funny to them but you don't get any of their jokes and have to laugh to yourself.

I wish for a better job.

Granted, the truck that ran it over obliged you.

I wish for the ability to ruin wishes without death.

Granted, you get a terminal disease for every wish you ruin that doesn't involve death.

I wish to not get VERY drunk tonight.

Granted, you get very high instead and make worse decisions. The hangover is bad as well.

I wish for another chance to travel.

Granted, next stop, the Bermuda Triangle!

I wish my new laptop keyboard arrived.

Granted, but it's in Chinese.

I wish my friends were interesting.

Granted, mass murderers are very interesting.

I wish i had a power drill.

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