Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted but it fails as soon as you try a really ambitious jump. Enjoy the fall!

I wish for infinite coins.

Granted, they flood the planet and the carnage causes society collapses.

I wish to finish my assignments.

Granted but they get lost before you can hand them in so you have to do them over again in ten minutes.

I wish for more dancing in this thread.

Granted, everyone breaks their legs dancing and blames you.

I wish for more people to join the pub club games.

Granted, everyone forces you to play with them forever.

I wish for more Shoryuken.

Granted but you're always on the receiving end.

I wish the Escapist loaded more reliably.

Granted, but nothing else loads.
I wish that I knew how to travel through time.

Granted, you can only warp back to the moment where the meteor kills all the dinos... and you.

I wish for warmer blankets.

Granted but you're tied up in them and can never escape.

I wish cats weren't evil.

Granted, dogs are evil and more bloodthirsty!

I wish to relax next week.

Granted, the sedatives will make you very relaxed while my thugs rip apart your home.

I wish Canada had a bigger say in foreign affairs.

Granted, they introduce free global healthcare and no one can pay for it. The global economy collapes and chaos ensues.

I wish governments weren't so complicated.

Granted, they are now simplified so much that anyone can get into office and make horrendously bad choices for the country.

I wish for my dental appointment to be quick.

Granted, but its gonna be 10 times as painful

I wish to learn everything

Granted, you are left with nothing you ever cared about.

I wish for a comfier bed!

Granted, you sink into the fluffiness and suffocate.

I wish for less hurricanes.

Granted, you get seven times the tornadoes across the entire continent instead.

I wish to have home internet again.

Granted, it's 10kbs dial up with a faulty modem and a 10mb download cap.

I wish my phone worked.

Granted, you're immediately flooded with spam texts and calls.

I wish my old laptop died.

Granted, but you can't have a new one.

I wish for the wish of the person two posts after me to not get ruined by the person posting after me or after them.

Granted, it will get ruined anyway.

I wish for an old car that doesn't run and needs a lot of work.

Granted. It is also a portal to another realm that brings in giant flesheating cheeseburgers.

I wish for my nose to be unclogged.

Granted, but it also disappears, and you never see it again.

I wish for a red panda!

Granted, it bodyslams you immediately.

I wish for better CoD trailers.

Granted, they are so good you spend all your money on them, becoming broke and have it repossessed.

I wish my headphones wouldn't cut out at random.

Granted, they cut out permanently.

I wish The Spoony Experiment would update more!

Granted, the next update makes you want to never touch it again.

I wish for more trees.

Granted, however they are all dead.

I wish I was a magical dragon.

Granted, it seeks to destroy humanity and is more than capable of doing so!

I wish to make a good wish.

Granted, everyone else but you benefits from it.

I wish for more coffee.

Granted but it is frozen.

I wish for a hologram.

Granted, it is of yourself doing bad things to yourself.

I wish for a pub club membership!

Granted, but you're instantly permabanned

I wish to meet the Doctor

Granted. Doctor Destiny will see you now.


I wish for more Justice League to watch.

Granted, it is horrendously shit.

I wish for ice cream.

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