Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, but now you laugh uncontrollably every time something horrible happens and everyone thinks you're a psychopath.
I wish I could do well in my exams.

Granted, you walk into the wrong exam hall and ace the entrance test for a nursery for gifted children.

I wish the movie I'm watching was better.

Granted, it is of better quality! The movie itself is unchanged.

I wish class would end faster.

Granted, you now travel through time at double the rate, which means that your spare time also feels reduced.

I wish I had every game on steam and could play them all.

Granted, the price of everything must be paid immediately or you get life imprisonment.

I wish I had a snack.

You have, it's a delicious delicious kebab, but what's that? The meat tastes odd and there this strange blue fur in it....

I wish I could break out of prison

Granted, you are now out of prison, in a nice sunny yard. Oh look, someone gave you a cigarette, and a comfy wall to lean against. What are all those serious looking men with rifles doing?

I wish I didn't have to take my chemistry exam tomorrow.

Granted, you have to take it now! *your teacher comes in and gives you the test with no time to study*

I wish I had easier assignments.

Granted, your only assignment is too mop the floor, but that is the only thing that you can ever do.

I wish that "are all those serious looking men with rifles" would leave me alone.

Granted, they leave you locked in the sunny yard with a cigarette and no sunblock.

I wish I had friends who were into tabletop gaming.

Granted, endless games of monopoly and scrabble for you.

I wish that I wasn't looked in a sunny yard with a cigarette and no sunblock.

Granted *Takes the Cigarette* No smoking.

I wish reality television was no more.

Your wish is granted, now there is only reality internet and the Jersey shore becomes a video contrbutor to the escapist. say hello to all the new members :)

Good, I don't smoke either way.

I wish that I wasn't looked in a sunny yard

Granted: The sun is extinguished, ushering in an era of eternal darkness and cold.

I wish someone would give me a billion dollars.

Granted my name is Prince Albert of Turmanistan and I want to share my wealth with the world. Sadly your country has a tax on every 100 million dollars I give so if you could forward me the money I'll happily give you your dream.

I wish for a quiet and happy life.

Granted, everyone else lives a harsh and miserable life and you become the most loathed man alive!

I wish for my work to be done.

Granted but a more demanding task requires your attention right now!

I wish for the ability to travel far away inexpensively.

Granted and uncorrupted! Haha!

I wish someone would corrupt my last wish. <.<

I wish somebody would UNCORRUPT ALL THE WISHES!

Granted, the thread is now locked and there is to be no more.

I wish there was still fun.

Granted there is still fun, but every time fun is experienced, it only lasts for 1 picosecond, and fun cannot be had again for a period of 12 years afterward.

I wish I had a better memory.

Sounds like my sex life, hahahaha.......where was I?
Ah yes, I grant your wish you have a great memory and constantly relive all of the worst parts of your life simultaneously.

I wish for cute pictures of otters.

Granted, these pictures keep you from doing work. You become poor and homeless.

I wish for more livestreams.

I wish for more people to grant wishes!

Granted. There is now even more corrupted wishes to be had.

I wish that there wouldn't be so much bickering over inconsequential things.

I wish I had a more creative way to ruin that wish.

Not G. Ivingname:

I wish I had a more creative way to ruin that wish.

You do so by having constant, tentacle sex with everyone on Earth so that they don't have time to argue. Enjoy!

I wish for magic, colourful ponies.

Granted unfortunately the ponies have the most horrific fanbase imaginable and the disgusting perverts camp outside your stable, drawing the most horrific art and making sex noises at them. The constant sexual advances slowly take their toll on the ponies and you find them one day, just living there, having committed a ritualistic suicide pack.

I wish for more Charlie Brooker.

Granted, Charlie Brooker is cloned in order to provide a constant stream of witty insight and writing. After a month everyone has their own personal Charlie Brooker for 24/7 amusement, all controlled by the central super-Brooker. Then the Super-Brooker decides it can solve all of humanity's problems by using the Brookers to keep them under control, and Will Smith has to go kill the Brooker controlling them all. Along the way he gets the help of a Brooker made differently to the others. Anyway, Smith kills the super-Brooker and we send all the Brookers off to landfill. Now there is no more Charlie Brooker.

I wish that the next persons wish will have no ill effects.

Granted, they simply die before their wish is fulfilled.

I wish for a popsicle.

Granted, BLOOD DRENCHED FROZEN TAMPON POPSICLE! (Cookie for reference)

I wish for another chip butty.

Granted, but instead of being made of chips. It is made of horrible, american fries have no actual potato in them.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

Granted, have fun never waking up!

I wish for the power of flight!

Granted, but you can only fly while you're sleeping, and you lose the ability to walk.

I wish for cookies that won't harm me.

Granted, they don't do you any harm, but they taste of BROCCOLI.

I wish for Wreck-it-Ralph to be released in the UK.

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