Granted, the moment you touch them, they go off in your face.
I wish for less alcohol.
Granted, all of your alcohol has now been given to children.
I wish my dog wasn't sick. :[
I wish I wasn't this horribly evil.
Granted, people treat you like a doormat cause you're so nice.
I wish I was less bitter about things.
Granted! Now you're super nice and optimistic, to the point that no one will talk to you!
I wish dogs never died. Sigh.
I wish I was horribly evil again so I am not a doormat.
Granted, your a evil doormat that eats little old ladies shoes.
I wish I was Batman.
I wish people would read the wishes and note the things I specifically stated I wouldn't be coughdoormatcough.
Granted, You're a matdoor. How does that work? I have no clue.
I wish I was more clever.
Granted, you are .001% more clever than before.
I wish I could not go and do the to be the after the before next when the at.
I wish the person who granted this wish would be more clever.
Granted. He used his cleverness to explode your head before you could exploded his.
I wish for... canadian orange juice.
Granted. You find out you're allergic to it... the hard way.
I wish for more derailing.
Granted we are now making this a MLP thread.
I wish for more time in a day.
Granted, you just got more work hours!
I wish for some more pizza!
Granted... IT'S ALL HAWAIIAN! (I hate pineapple so...)
I wish that the world can be like the Fallout world.
Granted, you are a ghoul who is standing in front of my characters way *BAM*
I wish for the world to be more like Pokemon!
Granted animal cruelty is at an all time high and the police/nurse force are all clones.
I wish for a voice like Tom Waits.
Granted. However, due to copyright concerns, you are now embroiled in a multimillion dollar lawsuit with him.
I wish for Canada.
Granted, we nuked it so now you're stuck in Fallout-Canadian edition.
I wish for a new copy of Fallout New Vegas.
I wish I had a high end PC.
Granted, it crashes and is rendered unusable after the first boot up!
I wish I had dinner already! (It's like 10PM here)
Granted. It was 2 calories of flavorless nutrients.
I wish for a longer beard.
Granted, it gets a mind of it's own and kills you will it... then it eats your genitals in front of your family...
I wish for... more pepsi.
Granted you get a lake of Coca-Cola, because it's all the same right?
I wish for a comfier chair.
Granted. You now look like an '80s porn star.
I wish they'd make a Sopranos movie.
Granted, it is the worst movie of all time and leads to the death of 4 people. Oh and Kevin Costner plays the leading role.
I wish for another hamburger.
Granted, here is one that we found behind the fryers a month ago!
I wish for more sleep!
Granted, you sleep with the fishes.
I wish Tolkien had specified whether Balrogs have wings and if so can they use them?
Granted, it is now confirmed they they have wings that can be used in confined spaces very easily, meaning that events in the Fellowship are canonically inaccurate. As a result, the books are now being written by Stephanie Meyer and the new films of those books will be directed by Michael Bay once he has finished making a Turtles quadrilogy.
I wish I could afford the things I want.
Granted! You robbed a bank for the money!
I wish I had some apple juice. :[
Granted! You get it from the blokes from American Pie. Enjoy.
I wish Michael Bay would stop making movies?
Granted, instead he uses the money from Transformers to build a new robotic super-Bay to take over from him until the end of time
I wish people would reply to their e-mails
Granted you will now get follow up spam messages.
I wish weathermen would stop being wacky.
Granted! He know is suffering from depression since his wacky weather cast distracted his son from driving, crashing into an 18 wheeler carrying kittens, orphans, and vials filled with Uranium! Now everything he ever loved is either dead or has cancer! :D
I wish I could of made that granting of the wish shorter.