Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, it is made form gingers

I wish for more Forum Games

Granted, except that they are all the same game: 'If you woke up in bed with the above avatar'.

I wish for my own private island.

I wish Stanley Kubrick had directed one more movie.

Granted, you learn that Kubrick directed "The room" under a pseudonym.

I wish that things could be different.

I wish things would never change.

Granted. All that things that are bad and will kill you in the end remain the same.

I wish for potatoes.

Granted, here is a bowl full of the best roast potatoes ever, but there are parsnips mixed in an you cannot tell them apart.

Wow, that was horrible, I may have gone overboard.

I wish I had more self control

Granted, you have no control over others, leading them to abuse your own self control!

I wish I was able to drink more lemonade!

I wish I could of found a better image for that wish.

Granted but it carried a virus and spiked your computer before you could post it.

I wish for less stress.

Granted. I'm pretty sure you don't feel too much stress if you are lobotomized.

I wish I could level up in real life.

Granted but you hit the level cap and get depressed, leading to a suicide so that you can start a new game.

I wish for Magikarp.

Redlin5 used Pokeball on Magicarp!

You have caught Magicarp!

You sent out Magicarp to battle!

Magicarp used splash!

I wish people would be more careful what they wish for.

Granted, but that sucks all of the joy out of life. Human existence becomes a gray, dreary affair. Suicide rates skyrocket, and all altruism dies out. Humanity becomes an apathetic, uncaring mass with no hopes or dreams.

I wish I could sleep.

Granted, but only for half an hour per ever 24 hours.

I wish this online project of mine will take off.

Granted. It takes off right out the window, with your computer as well.

I wish that there was an update to life to raise my level cap.

Granted but it comes as DLC at the price of n+1 dollars, n being the value of everything you own at amy given point it time.

I wish for an Elder Scrolls concert.

I wish for a no loophole abused wish.

Granted, but said wish can only be used to wish for bad things, which will happen without loopholes.

I wish I had some punch. Oh! Or some apple juice. Mmm, apple juice...

Granted. You get expired apple juice mixed in with punch that has been spiked with vodka.

I wish for helium.

I wish for the new pokemon game NOW!

Granted, but it's terrible and completely kills the series forever.

I wish tomorrow's geohash coordinates were close enough for me to reach.

Granted it's in your house and its now the most popular one in the world to go to.

I wish Funk was a better musical genre.

Granted. Rock is renamed Funk, with no other changes.

I wish for a crate of Uranium.

I wish people didn't get drunk today.

Granted, instead they get jacked up on meth.

I wish it was March already.

Granted you wake up and it's March already, but you find out that you were in a coma and both of your arms and your left leg are gone now.

I wish to have four fully functional arms.

Granted but you can't control the other 2 and they start punching you

I wish I wasn't easily distracted

Granted, you are now oblivious to everything, including that man running at you with a knife!

I wish I was able to dance better!

Granted! You dance so well you're given your own television show! Which then attracts a stalker who kills, dismembers, and eats you, not necessarily in that order.

I wish I could fly.

I wish I was able to fly under my own power, without the support of any other objects.

Granted, it's too hard to control and you just give up.

I wish to not botch up cooking!

Granted, you can now successfully make some haggis. And only haggis.

I wish for the ability to stop procrastinating.

I will grant it when I feel like doing so.

I wish for another wish.

Granted.

I wish for more original wishes.

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