Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. Now everyone looks at you normally but talks to you like you're a baby.

I wish for more interesting games to play.

Granted. Hope you like the shit games out there!

I wish for a better way to fall asleep.

Granted here smell this rag.

I wish for a glass of water from the streams of a mountain in Tibet.

Granted. Have fun getting sick continually for the rest of your life!

I wish for super reflexes.

Granted! Of course, the friction caused by moving so fast my make you burst into flames...

I wish for hope.

Granted here is a Barack Obama look a like.

I wish for Crash Bandicoot to get the game he deserves.

Granted!

*Hands Crash Bandicoot a copy of Super Mario Galaxy*

...What?

I wish that people were more specific about there wishes.

Granted, all wishes now clearly state that they want you to die.

I wish to go to the cinema!

Granted, they're playing a 24 hour marathon of ALL the Seltzer and Freiberg movies. Enjoy!

I wish I was a sexy person

Granted, you are very attractive in the eyes of your mum.

I wish I had a pen.

Granted. It only takes your blood as ink.

I wish for the end of humanity except me.

Granted, you cannot reproduce at all.
I wish for a Bionic Arm.

I wish the next person will wish that they will die.

Granted, the next person is you, yes that's right, we are the same person...deal with it...

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but you can only teleport 10 feet in any direction.

Nothing to say about a blank space. As punishment, any wish you ask will always be twisted into, "I want to stop existing."

I wish for lots and lots of love!

Granted, but it is exclusively given to you awkwardly through a gaming forum * awkwardly flops arms at Silent in a weak attempt at a hug*

I wish for a little somethin' somethin'

Denied, you didn't specify anything. :-|

I wish to be an adult.

I wish Mullac and me were not the same person.

Granted,
Mullac is a living, thriving person. You are dead.

I wish I could focus in class

Granted, but all your teachers no longer can....

I wish my essays weren't so difficult.

Granted, but you have to write a 10,000 word essay without typing.
I wish that I have all the badges on this site.

Granted, but the site closes down thanks to your stupidity.

I wish I could be patient.

Granted, but nothing is worth the wait.

I wish country music would cease to exist.

Granted, but hip hop and rap soar to record highs in fans and money taken in.
I wish that garden gnomes could walk.

Granted but now they've taken all your stuff.

I wish for more Epic Rap Battles of history.

Granted, just that it's all by artists you probably can't stand, like Justin Beiber.

I wish for insomnia.

Granted, but after 10 years of the insomnia, you die.
I wish for more genies.

Granted, but with that genius comes the ever-knowing truth that there is no point in life, which eventually leads to your suicide.

I wish I had a third hand.

Granted, but it has no fingers and it is on your head.
I wish for a cake.

Granted! It's a fruit cake.

I wish for a refill.

Granted, your toilet is now full!

I wish I could travel through time

Granted, but you can only go back 10 years.
I wish for a computer chip in my brain.

Granted. No free will for you.

I wish for all of my games to work on Linux.

Granted but due to a transfer problem you get......solitaire.

I wish my eye would stop hurting.

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