Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, but maybe the lighter was a little too powerful . . .

I wish for my homework to be done.

Granted, but it's all incorrect and incoherent.

I wish for my sandwich to be awesome! express.

Granted. It's so awesome it blows you up, one limb at a time. Naturally , your head is last. And the explosions won't kill you till the head. Bassically, You'll painfully.

I wish I could remove and reattach the limbs of my body at will.

Granted. Other people can, too.

I wish for cornflakes.

Granted, but they're soaking in piss.

I wish I had someone smart and polite to play Sleep is Death with. And no, they can't have killed anyone. Or raped anyone. Or committed any crimes. Or are planning to commit a crime. Or anything I consider immoral. TRY AND MESS THAT UP!

Granted, but they just dont like you very much and leave.

I wish I could meet my internet friends irl. and they are who they say they are.

Granted. Luckily, they all told you that they're losers. So they are, in fact, who they say they are. They're just losers is all.

I wish that I don't have to get up tomorrow.

Granted, but you are now dead.

I wish that all the garbage in the world vanished without a trace.

Granted. Along with the rubbish, you have also cleansed the world of bacteria. No-one gets ill, and the human race evolves beyond the need for an immune system. So, when a meteorite containing the flu arrives, everyone dies.

I wish Martians had immune systems...

Granted. It doesn't help them conquer the Earth though, as there immune systems arn't used to earth diseases.

I wish for a pie.

Granted. It's pie-flavour. And empty.

I wish that there were more tripedal creatures on earth.

Granted. You're suddenly one of them.

I wish I had a pet tripedal monkey.

Granted, but scientists steal it for testing

I wish it was 5 months time, I have gotten A*s on all my exams and have nothing to do for the rest of the summer.

Granted. You get kidnapped by the government for time travel, and are dissected ALIVE!

I wish for another heat ray.

Granted, but it doesn't work properly and you get fried.

I wish for pyrokinesis.

Granted, but being a squishy Fire Mage doesn't save you from a 30-foot lump of Martian metal.

I wish my heat ray worked...

((Could I not have melted it?))

Granted, but you had to spend so much repairing it that you now have no money.

I wish that my wishes couldn't be twisted.

((They're equipped with heat rays. They would have been designed to prevent accidental friendly fire.))

Granted, but the resulting paradox unleashed Sargeris into the world through a portal in your brain.

I wish for a cat.

Granted! ...I think that's ruined enough..

I wish I could meet Maximum The Hormone.

Granted! But you stub your toe after you do.

I wish for another cat!

Granted, but your first one blows up.

I wish Pepsi was erased from existence.

DX

Granted, but every can of pepsi is replaced by a kitten.

I wish for a funeral for the first cat...

Granted, and now the second one gets eaten by a hampster.

I wish for a banana sandwich.

DX

Granted. Both the banana and the bread are three weeks past their expiration date. The butter is fine, though.

I wish for a funeral for the second cat... ;~;

Granted, but the casket lights on fire.

I wish for a ninja monkey.

Granted, but you turn into a cat.

I wish there were was a planet inhabited entirely by cats.

Granted, but you can't get to it.

I wish for more dinosours!

At least it exists.

Granted, but someone trains an army of raptors and uses it to wreak havoc.

...I with Knaak and Kotick were dead.

Maybe if you had proof-read your post, you wouldn't be in this mess!

I wish for a batmobile.

EDIT: Also, I meant the candy dinoSOURs. Not dinoSAURs.

Granted. It turns out to be a trap from Saw when you enter it, though.

I wish Knaak and Kotick's souls were in whatever negative afterlife may or may not exist, to be tortured forever for their crimes against games/books. Also, throw in the author of Twilight.

EDIT: Well, we're supposed to corrupt the wish, and I've never heard of these "dinosours" of which you speak, so there!

Granted. However, you get thrown in with them.

I wish for an immortal degu.

Granted. You get an anime girl with mis-matching eyes that says "Desu" at the end of every sentence.

I wish for the Warglaives of Azzinoth.

Granted. But I don't know what a degu is, so you get a tennis ball with an attached note saying "degu".

I wish for my homework to be done, correctly.

Granted. Your teacher accuses you of cheating. You get kicked out of school.

I wish for a cat.

Granted, hope you like you're new Pride of Hungry Lions.

I wish I was part of a sucessful band.

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