Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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A full refund is given, but players have to go through some paperwork before they're allowed to purchase the Dev/Pub's next game.

I wish I could trade in digital titles.

You can only trade them for items from the same devs and only if their prices are identacle.

I wish for an SCP-914 of my very own.

You can have one, but it's huge and has a lot of moving parts to maintain. Not mention if something gets in and jams up the system.

I wish all spies were on 007 level.

They're all reckless drunks who rape women.

I wish it was a legal punishment to CASTRATE THE RAPISTS.

This increases the number of "Men's rights" groups in the world.

I wish for a grand happy ending.

Some MRAs realise is is NOT the right of men to keep a tool if they use it to hurt others, so we unite against those who disagree and rape becomes extremely rare; but somebody tells a really bad fart joke out of nowhere right before the end credits, ruining the mood.

I wish all of life was designed with perfect metabolism so that we never need bathrooms or even shit-eating bugs.

All organics now have multiple stomachs and can't eat certain sources of sustenance.

I wish I was given 2 blowjobs a day to boost morale.

How you play with your new pet lamprey is your business.

I wish arthropods never existed.

Cool names like "Scorpion" don't exist, nor is there any lobster to eat.

I wish to do something truly American.

You kill a Cherokee in his home and claim it for yourself.

I wish my keyboard's track-pad wouldn't click on things without permission.

It asks your permission twice before you can do anything.

I wish to live in wealthy seclusion, like Howard Hughes

Having nobody to socialize with drives you so mad you eat all your bills and throw the coins at birds.

I wish I could find more people worth socializing with.

They're the wrong kind of crowd.

I wish I'm a treasure hunter.

(Aren't you supposed to grant the wish first, instead of go against it entirely?) You never even reach your first temple, thanks to that near-microscopic bug that injected your face with a deadly neuro-toxin.

I wish all Star Trek productions had a smaller background cast, dozens instead of hundreds.

They are all hired by Michael Bay.

I wish to be a millionaire

You're bought out by a multi-millionaire.

I wish there was a Valhalla for gamers.

You're now the only legal-age beta-tester for Call of Duty VR.

I wish gaming and the Internet never met.

No DLC, none of the best Multiplayer games, no patches and updates, no digital market and no big sales. Shot yourself in the foot there.

I wish I could turn my home into an armed fortress.

(No online multi-player sounds like a win to me; besides you're forgetting the best kind: couch co-op.) Your house is made of LEGO and has a Hulk-arm on each side-wall.

I wish to live in such a house myself.

Even the floors are made of LEGO causing constant foot pain.

I wish it was cool to wear flares again.

(I have at least enough flat plates for a small room.) You can wear all the flares you want in your hair, just mind the heat.

I wish to play a Turok game as good as Resident Evil 4.

It's followed by a bad kickstarted sequel.

I wish life had cheat codes.

Just imagine Saint's Row Online, but with perma-death and real pain; this is the life you've chosen.

I wish I didn't wear a sleeveless shirt last weekend, so that a mostly cloudy day didn't end with sunburned shoulders.

Wear a long-sleeve thick shirt, instead and sweat buckets!

I wish everyone around me was an NPC with zero threat or awareness.

You live in a world of mannequins, but what will get to you first: The angry vampires or the pointy-headed butcher/gimp?

I wish Native Americans had exclusive rights to run casinos.

I'm leaving that untouched because I've never heard anything like it.

I wish I could live out a giantess fantasy.

You get to live out her fantasy of romancing giant men.

Native Americans already have exclusive rights to own bald eagle feathers and I really hate gambling but love the tribes, what's not to get?

Well, not living in America, I don't follow the history. Incidentally, when I say "Giantess" I mean "giant woman".

I wish magic and science merged together.

That's what I meant when I said "her", the ruin was that you were living someone else's fantasy -that of a giantess. Anyway, you read decades-old literature suggesting that magic is just science we don't understand. This way of thinking motivates you to build a Tardis so that you can live in a time and place where even the most elementary science is beyond your understanding and thus, magic. You're even given your own home and catered to every day, in a zoo. But because the zoo is on Venus, their advanced technology can only keep you alive for a few hours.

I wish you'd get in on the 914 Game.

I just looked and I don't understand, so no thanks.

I wish the Portal gun existed.

You're given the Portal Gun, but only after it's been through the 914 machine on Very Fine setting; now there's only one trigger and no telling where in the Universe the portals will take you: Venus, Jupiter's Red Spot, deep inside a neutron star, a snake-orgy...

I wish snakes were more personal with reproduction, and so does Minmax.

Snakes mate with any species, not sure if want.

I wish Solid Snake wasn't so grouchy all the time.

Liam Neeson uses his Good Cop voice for all of Snake's lines; but to keep that from getting old, the player now controls Otacon as he limps around in pee-soaked pants and invisibility cloak.

I wish Tarol Hunt, Canadian author of Goblins, and his wife Danielle never got unjustly deported by a racist shithead airport security guard.

They were sent to concentration camps.

I wish Transhumanism was ethically right on all accounts.

Cyborgs and "pures" get along the same way as small dogs and their owners: Deity-worship, sub-servitude, a complete lack of dignity; also, S. Korea has a black market for cyborg cannibals.

I wish it was legally required world-wide for animals to not have faces when prepared for consumption.

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