Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. Being prototypes straight out of the 3d printer, it only takes 3 weapons before one explodes in your face.

I wish winter would hold the fuck up for like 20 more days. There's no need to wake up to 36 F in the mornin

Granted. Due to global warming winter gets delayed and the melting ice caps cause dosents of coastal cities to pemanently sink beneath the waves.

I wish for bread and circuses!

You're the guy who makes pies for the clowns.

I wish I won a tournament.

You win The International 7. Being such a huge nerd, you're so awkward that you never get laid.

I wish I had real evidence of good things in my future

You'll have a great family, which means a pregnant woman will show up unexpectedly one day.

I wish I had my own flagship, space station and colony.

It'll cost me a handful of my LEGO, but granted.

I wish to literally drink Randy Pitchford's tears.

Do you know what tears taste like?

I wish great shows didn't outstay their welcome.

Granted. They're canceled half-way through the 2nd season

I wish transportation was easier (i.e. teleportation)

Some people materialize in the exact same space, causing dimensional pocket rifts, killing instantly.

I wish sleep was just as refreshing as it is in games.

Granted although now all game logic applies and you are currently overburdened.

I wish my internet was quicker.

It knows what you want view before you decide to view it.

I wish solar power was used globally.

The shift in power production causes a change in balance of power, which causes mediterranian nations to push their cultural and military influence on the rest of the world.

I wish everybody was at their physical and mental peak.

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

I wish all fiction existed in the same universe.

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

How is that a bad thing? You are supposed to subvert the wish instead of just describing it.

Anyway. The Warp and the Elder gods wage an eternal war, making the universe unsuitable for life.

Level 7 Dragon:

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

How is that a bad thing? You are supposed to subvert the wish instead of just describing it.

I may have misinterpreted your wish. By "peak" I thought you meant "Perfectly balanced", so I turned it into extremes.

OT: You made no wish, so I'll go next.

I wish I was completely self-reliant.

You are now a tree, living off photosynthesis and the dew that lands on the soil beneath your roots.

I wish for peace and cooperation between all countries.

If that cooperation consists of building walls and not talking to each other.

I wish to be a member of Mensa.

Granted. They make you do all the most unpleasant tasks and treat you like crap.

I wish no one would ever die because of a drunk driver ever again.

The world has been PG-13ified: the high ratio of property destruction over death leads to global over-population and poverty. As if to rub it in, Big Booze successfully lobbies to give extra privilege to the intoxicated.

I wish "Big Booze" was a super-villain in mainstream comics.

His main attacks falling over and throwing up on people, making him despised by fans and critics.

I wish people would realise sarcasm is a not as witty as they think.

Everyone becomes unwittingly sarcastic... ironically

I wish my phone didn't lose power

It loses memory instead.

I wish talent knew no bounds.

Every human becomes predesposed to every possible useful creative skill and craft which causes conflict between members of management jobs, artistic jobs and bluecollar workers.

I wish the next poster would go back in time to prevent this thread from happening.

While then, I also take the liberty to bomb Gearbox Studios, denying us Borderlands 2 or Pre-Sequel.

I wish educational shows weren't so condescending to small children.

Educational kids' shows are now the only type of show.

I wish my voice was smoother, like butter paragliding over a calm lake in South America during sunset.

Now you sound like a cross between Barry White and Roger Moore, which causes untold embarrassment as it's all you sound like, even when emotional.

I wish I was a voice actor.

An absent-minded casting director hires you for as the star of an improvised comedy and the entire project is a disaster.

I wish the Rick & Morty Season 2 ending happened in real life.

The difference in basic physics between different universes causes a pan-dimentional expanding vacuum, rendering countless planes of life sterile of sentient life or even matter/gravity.

I wish Social Justice movements and their detractors would get along and negotiate a strategy for the betterment of society that would be free of both systemic discrimination and dogmatic ideologies.

They achieve this, but their first convention together is cut short with a suicide bombing. President Trump smiles.

I wish I didn't type that last part.

You go back in time and grab your own hand before you click the "post" button. However, due to the fact you never typed the message, you never had a reason to go back in time, effectively this causes a dangerous time paradox. President Alex Jones smiles.

I wish politicians would concetrate more on actual policies instead of emotional rhethoric.

Let's face it: big corporations have more power at this point than any government anyway; they sic assassins on any politician who debates reasonably, even the Republicans. ESPECIALLY the Republicans.

I wish my Spooky didn't roughhouse the other cats.

Your cat steals food from other cats, instead.

I wish life had cartoon physics.

The vast majority of the population is now terrorised by snarky cartoon animals.

I wish people had amazing superpowers.

Nobody with super-powers ever does anything useful with them.

I wish Flashpoint Paradox was never animated, allowing the original DCAU to continue.

Then you realize F.P. may've been the best thing to happen to DC.

I wish I was selected to remove Excalibur from the stone.

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