Who is the above Escapist... In real life?

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He's a folk singer with a strange obsession for bananas.

He's a music agent by day, but by night he likes to dress up in a bear costume and go door to door selling meat loaf records.

Something tells me that the Knight is a sous chef at Grafitti.

He is the unique, double XP "blue-eyed jawa". This kind of jawa is far more likely to drop cool items.

He owns the worlds largest collection of Mcdonald's Happy meal toys.

He is a government employee responsible for generating random numbers that become fact.

He is the Canadian Banksy.

He's a deeply religious alcoholic farmboy in a wheelchair.

Link to Future owns some property in Somerset.

Doc Gnosis is an insurance salesman.

Something tells me Eumersian is part of the Trump Organization.

He's a globe-trotting ninja senator with nothing left to lose.

He vaguely reminds me of a Kenyan travelling samurai bottle juggler I met once.

He's a person who hibernates in a cave on the moon most of the time. Only now does he post on his computer before he goes back into his slumber.

He's a witless Amish cat burglar haunted by memories of 'Nam.

He is a missionary in South America, protecting the rare, endangered love-bunny population in Chile. It is hard work however because the locals like to use their hides as goodluck charms.

He's a fiendish Catholic photographer with the power to see death.

He's the Grim Reaper's lawyer. His job sucks.

Voodoomancer works at a tannery, and he has my condolences.

He's an old-fashioned guerilla vampire hunter with a passion for fast cars.

He is from Chernobyl. His dog's name is Hiroshima.

He's a war-weary neurotic shaman moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble.

He is a curious poet, on the move leaving deathnotes everywhere.

He's santa. He's bored now that christmas is still 10 months away.

He's a benighted skateboarding photographer plagued by the memory of his family's brutal murder.

He's just this guy who likes to post on the Escapist from time to time. Also a vampire.

He's a superhumanly strong bohemian boxer from THE FUTURE.

He's a very intelligent connoisseur of fine cuisine... FROM THE PAST.

He's an immortal devious senator on the wrong side of the law.

He's also a dreamer...

He's a short-sighted guitar-strumming astronaut haunted by an iconic dead American confidante.

He's a Dr Pepper aficionado.

How...how did you know? >.>

He's a scrappy arachnophobic assassin searching for his wife's true killer.

He's a mutant dog, plotting his master's downfall.

He's a printer of newspapers, in a cruel world where newspapers are worthless. He must fight through waves of angry ex-newspaper readers to protect his investments.

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