Who is the above Escapist... In real life?

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He's a leather-clad overambitious cyborg in drag.

He is a male prostitute the tries their hardest to look like Marylin Monroe.

He writes news stories for Fox News, however he is secretly trying to take the Company down from the inside.

He writes stories for Fox news, like, for real. This dude here, writes that shit for serious because he believes every word of it.

Eumersian had a brief stint as a kid secretary.

He's a gun-slinging soccer-playing librarian who dotes on his loving old ma.

He's a duck from Pluto. Who is petitioning to get his home classified as a planet again.

He's the ultimate accountant.

He is a time traveller and the main cause, of every disaster that ever happened.

He's exploding right now!

He's the worlds first professional leprechaun hunter.

xmbts is a professional mailroom robber. He spends his days toting his gun into the mailrooms of various local businesses and asks people to "Give [him] the TPS Reports and nobody gets hurt."

Sad turn of events. You were such a promising physicist.

I'm very sure that he's most likely standing outside my door right now.

He's a shaman for an ancient tribe who dabbles in speedcore techno now and again.

He's no-one and someone. He's a mystery!

He's a fuckin' Canadian pirate-ninja. Hell-bent on making the best dumplings on the seven seas.

He's absolutely right. And also Cyborg Charles de Gaulle.

He doesn't know, that there is someone standing right behind him, right at this very moment.

Also he's a ninja.

He is someone trying to hack into my computer as we speak.

He's just a kid trying to attain his dreams... in BC!

He's really zombiesinc's dog posing while his master is away.

Doesn't VaudevillianVeteran sell cheese pretzels in Canada?

Dwarf mad scientist

A kappa who runs a cucumber stand next to a scenic lake in Toronto.

A bank teller with an obsession for collecting socks.

A piano player.

A priest with pink hair.

He is a professional whoop shooper.

Someone who could kill by sending sonic waves into a person's brain.

Someone who can kill a man with a spoon.

Someone who recognises my talents. >:3
Who is also sneaky and magical.

Is a magical wizard with cat like reflexes and a heart of gold... right?

Eh, two out of three isn't so bad.. >:3
A man with a serious expression at all times.

*Gasp* The Angry Videogame Nerd?!

Someone who knows their internet celeberties.

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