CF is obviously a benighted soccer-playing romance novelist with a winning smile and a way with the ladies.
Link to Future is a magical weasel, sent to guard this universe soon after it's creation.
EpicFightingTroper is a notorious crooked librarian living undercover at Ringling Bros. Circus.
I'm on to you.
A humble millionaire playboy.
Dr. Susse is a superhumanly strong misogynist cowboy haunted by an iconic dead American confidante.
Inventor of the not dying machine.
Does things excessively in real life too <.<
Cut of his/her own arm to attach a mega buster to it
An Amusement Park mascot.
A singing frog, a very talented one at that.
That wouldn't all that bad actually =P
A Professional Maverick
One of Shaft's girlfriends.
The Lead Singer of the Dead Kennedys...
Someone who shouts at others in stores.
My new cyberpunk-themed butler.
A crazy school staff person.
A curator of curiosities.