You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

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Red Dwarf's on again.

You have your own COG tags.

You know what a COG tag is.

The funky bass was dropped.

Someone found it and picked it up again.

Ratchet and Clank have been inducted into over 20 halls of fame.

Miller's taken his chuffing job back. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It's uncool to be stupid.

The Ministry of Truth has been raided twice.

Squirrels have gone kamikaze.

Mars is f***ed.

To live is to die and die again.

You found Souliko.

The Garibaldi biscuit is now the Guevara biscuit.

You've lost your computer.

The dice has 100 sides.

It grew an extra one while you were sitting here.

It's power-up time.

There are extra crew members now.

Rain dances work now.

ALMSIVI is a lie!

The codeword was imminent nine days ago.

You're talking to a hallucination of a space marine just to fill time.

It's time for another read through of Treasure Island.

Everything's covered in butter and walnuts.

A freaky ghost man was sleeping in your bed.

The year is 1994. How the f*** did that happen???

There is a pro-equality equivalent of the KKK.

People don't like grapes any more.

You've been invited to Sotheby's.

Sotheby's is a theme park now.

Dat ass is even bigger and better than before.

The Wheel Of The Worst has been around for ages.

That Space Marine from up the road has been wearing that armour for 1984 Terran years.

It still isn't over.

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