The Improvement Game.

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Be proactive.

How do you improve sunny weather?

Ingest beer, outside.

How do you improve [insert favourite food here]?

By adding more cheese.

How do you improve watches?

By making them always on time!

How do you improve a microwave?

By having them big enough to accommodate the larger, more awkwardly-proportioned foodstuff.

How do you improve a trip to Stockholm?

I do believe there's a syndrome involved.

How do you improve Stockholm syndrome?

1984.

How do you improve a game?

Add Batman.

How do you improve avatars?

Keep the same one forever. <.<

How do you improve May?

With parties.

How do you improve Chicken chow mein?

Eat it slowly to savor the flavor.

How do you improve hugs?

With a hidden blade *stab*

How do you improve the wonders of life?

With augmentation.

How do you improve kittens?

Make them fuzzier!

How do you improve Futurama.

By canceling it!

how do you improve narwhals?

Remove the dangerous horns.

How do you improve a lobster?

Give them sharpened steel claws, reverse scuba tanks and a lust for blood.

How do you improve our changes against such monsters?

Get better in your gun skills.

How do you improve waiting for new releases of games you like?

Occupy yourself with constructing a functioning, fuel-efficient time-machine.

How do you improve the mutations received from extended time in a nuclear-power device that traverses both space and time?
Seriously, I think I might need to see a doctor if I don't fix them soon...

With bio-engineering.

How do you improve monkey butlers?

With roller skates.

How do you improve garlic?

By making it more pungent, tasty and flavorful
How do you improve Electronic Arts?

Purge them with fire and salt..

How do you improve Valve?

Just speed them up a little... and make sure they can count to three.

How do you improve Capcom?

Pit it against Marvel.

How do you improve Nacho Cheese Doritos?

Dip them in salsa and/or guacamole and/or garlic dip.

How do you improve Lindt chocolate?

Fill them with silky, smooth peanut butter.

How do you improve a four-slice toaster?

By adding 4 more slots.
How do you improve piracy?

Make it actually involve naval battles and sword fighting.

How do you improve Cadbury Creme Eggs?

Make them thrice as big!

How do you improve religion and politics at the dinner table?

Replace them with food.

How do you improve my cooking?

Replace it with food.

How do you improve the sun's orbit?

Make it slower. More hours in the day! But don't we move around the sun?

How do you improve zombies?

Give them armored helmets.

(And the universe revolves around me.[/smug])

How do you improve velociraptors with jet packs?

Give them laser beams attached to their frickin' heads

How do you improve personal hygiene?

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