You know you're British when...

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When you feel the overwhelming desire to defend the NHS when another nationality tries to criticise it.

Also, if when you can quote Shaun of the Dead

Nimcha:
When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Il let bender handle this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY_amJ0YZrM

socialmenace42:

When you manage to be condescending without even realising it.

Also important, you sneer at the spell-checker when it tells you globalisation is spelled with a z.
If you see the word 'colour' spelled without a 'u' in it, you throw a fit.
And you know how to pronounce (and spell) aluminium

(I'm not a grammar Nazi, i swear. I'm just British)

All very true, I can't stand default american spell checkers, drives me nuts. At work they have office installed with an american locale and it doesn't store settings between uses, so every damn time I use word I have to change the default dictionary to British or it "corrects" all my British spellings... very very annoying.

this isnt my name:

Nimcha:
When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

If we were xenophobic we wouldnt have loads of foreigners and a government to spineless to talk about immigraton.

You know your British when you have an instense hatered for the name Thatcher.

Yes, you are correct there.

It even makes it even more surprising that American's worship the damn woman, when us brits hate every single fibre of her being. Hell, she even stole the kiddies school milk to save some public spending. If that isn't a sign of a cold hearted bitch then i don't know what is (which got her the nickname Margaret thatcher, the milk snatcher).

I'm just glad that I wasn't in my twenties in the 80s, then I would of known about it, with all the taxes, and all the other shit that thatcher threw on young British people.

When you know you're not British but you still incorporate the words "bloody" and "tosser" into your normal, everyday conversations with other people who you know are not British.

When you ask a builder or a plumber whether he wants a cup of tea.

That or when you first vomit in the street due to chronic alcoholism..

You know you're British When....

...you go abroad and instead of trying to speak the language you point at what you want saying it in english slower and louder.

...you are watching Sport and your National team always loses.

...you realise that every other country hates you.

...you can't buy petrol...because its too expensive.

...you hate unemployed people because you know you are essentially giving them money through taxation.

...getting absolutely smashed on a weekend is the "normal" thing to do and trying to be more continental and drinking a moderate amount in a relaxing atmosphere doesn't feel "right".

...your favourite native food... is a curry.

LuckyClover95:

T8B95:
You know you're British when you start using the word "glass" as a verb.

Yup! Yarmouth fo sho.

You know you're British when you GET FREE HEALTHCARE :D
You know you're British when you have your friends, and your pub crew friends. (I'm 16 so this isn't entirely true yet, however I do have a few pub friends and I know my family certainly have friends and pub friends. :P)
You know you're British when EVERYTHING can be done with tea.
You know you're British when you've complained about the weather every month of the year.
You know you're British when (true story, saw it on the news) everyone is trying to get a holiday to Libya because 'it's cheap right now.'
You know you're British when at least 2 female teenage acquaintances are pregnant.
You know you're British when you've been drunk in a park multiple times (a young British tradition, classy aren't we.)
You know you're British when every city has one, infamous, knifing and violence road.
You know you're British when you're taking the piss out of the French ;D KIDDING GUYS

LLanidloes has all this and it's only a little village in Mid Wales... Granted every year there's a fancy dress event that has thousands of people coming to town from all over the country to get drunk when most of this happens.

You know you're British when...
You see unicorns randomly everywhere.
You scream at people to put 'u's in words like favourite.
You spend twenty minutes teaching people to say SHEDULE not SKEDULE.
You don't think you're better than everyone else, you know it.

Jazoni89:

this isnt my name:

Nimcha:
When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

If we were xenophobic we wouldnt have loads of foreigners and a government to spineless to talk about immigraton.

You know your British when you have an instense hatered for the name Thatcher.

Yes, you are correct there.

It even makes it even more surprising that American's worship the damn woman, when us brits hate every single fibre of her being. Hell, she even stole the kiddies school milk to save some public spending. If that isn't a sign of a cold hearted bitch then i don't know what is (which got her the nickname Margaret thatcher, the milk snatcher).

I'm just glad that I wasn't in my twenties in the 80s, then I would of known about it, with all the taxes, and all the other shit that thatcher threw on young British people.

They like her ?

I find that funny. The recession is becuase of the bank, the banks are run by guys only interested in lining thier pockets. Thatcher had the bright idea to privitse them. This shit economy is her fault.

Anyone who worships her is clearly insane, or a banker.

Its funny people havent learned, now Cameron is fucking shit up. Allthough we were in a tough situaion, labour incompitence and the lib dems are spineless sellouts. Either way we we are fucked.

When you moan about it being too bloody cold or too bloody hot.
When everyone strips off if there's an inch of sun, thinking it won't rain at some point during the day.
...There's nothing funnier than seeing girls go outside wearing two teabags over their nipples, a leaf over there private parts then start shrieking and running when the sun turns into rain.

When you know the impressions other countries do of us is piss poor and so untrue.
When you apologise because someone ran you over and you put a dent in their car.
Ah, and when you get annoyed at spell checker trying to correct your words to the American version. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Toasted Nuts:
You know you're British When....

...you go abroad and instead of trying to speak the language you point at what you want saying it in english slower and louder.

...you are watching Sport and your National team always loses.

...you realise that every other country hates you.

...you can't buy petrol...because its too expensive.

...you hate unemployed people because you know you are essentially giving them money through taxation.

...getting absolutely smashed on a weekend is the "normal" thing to do and trying to be more continental and drinking a moderate amount in a relaxing atmosphere doesn't feel "right".

...your favourite native food... is a curry.

No...it's fish, and chips bruv.

GET IT RIGHT, MA SON!

Danny 6Speed:
When you think the Chevrolet Corvette is to Brash.

Brash is an adjective, not a verb.

Oh, wait, you meant too.

Did I mention that you know you are British when you are something of a grammar nazi.

Genericjim101:

LuckyClover95:

T8B95:
You know you're British when you start using the word "glass" as a verb.

Yup! Yarmouth fo sho.

You know you're British when you GET FREE HEALTHCARE :D
You know you're British when you have your friends, and your pub crew friends. (I'm 16 so this isn't entirely true yet, however I do have a few pub friends and I know my family certainly have friends and pub friends. :P)
You know you're British when EVERYTHING can be done with tea.
You know you're British when you've complained about the weather every month of the year.
You know you're British when (true story, saw it on the news) everyone is trying to get a holiday to Libya because 'it's cheap right now.'
You know you're British when at least 2 female teenage acquaintances are pregnant.
You know you're British when you've been drunk in a park multiple times (a young British tradition, classy aren't we.)
You know you're British when every city has one, infamous, knifing and violence road.
You know you're British when you're taking the piss out of the French ;D KIDDING GUYS

LLanidloes has all this and it's only a little village in Mid Wales... Granted every year there's a fancy dress event that has thousands of people coming to town from all over the country to get drunk when most of this happens.

I can believe that, Britian is Britain whether small village or major city.

When you know every scene from Monty Python.

You know you're British when:-

your plan while being surrounded by werewolves involves getting the Kettle on and having a brew. (Dog Soldiers)

you call all your female acquaintances "love", in a respectable manner, of course!

EeveeElectro:

When you know the impressions other countries do of us is piss poor and so untrue.
When you apologise because someone ran you over and you put a dent in their car.

Somebody tried to sue one of my friends for this, I find it rather humorous.

this isnt my name:

Jazoni89:

this isnt my name:

If we were xenophobic we wouldnt have loads of foreigners and a government to spineless to talk about immigraton.

You know your British when you have an instense hatered for the name Thatcher.

Yes, you are correct there.

It even makes it even more surprising that American's worship the damn woman, when us brits hate every single fibre of her being. Hell, she even stole the kiddies school milk to save some public spending. If that isn't a sign of a cold hearted bitch then i don't know what is (which got her the nickname Margaret thatcher, the milk snatcher).

I'm just glad that I wasn't in my twenties in the 80s, then I would of known about it, with all the taxes, and all the other shit that thatcher threw on young British people.

They like her ?

I find that funny. The recession is becuase of the bank, the banks are run by guys only interested in lining thier pockets. Thatcher had the bright idea to privitse them. This shit economy is her fault.

Anyone who worships her is clearly insane, or a banker.

Its funny people havent learned, now Cameron is fucking shit up. Allthough we were in a tough situaion, labour incompitence and the lib dems are spineless sellouts. Either way we we are fucked.

Yes, they are even making a movie about her life.

No, I'm not shitting you!

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=30100

With Meryl Streep as Maggie Thatcher.

...Please kill me now.

When you say "I'm from the UK" when people ask.

EeveeElectro:
When you know the impressions other countries do of us is piss poor and so untrue.
When you apologise because someone ran you over and you put a dent in their car.
Ah, and when you get annoyed at spell checker trying to correct your words to the American version. LEAVE ME ALONE.

It's true, I've never seen a non-British person do a decent impression. They just don't have what it takes to be like us. However, the British population of the Escapist surprises me. o:

Bournemouth all the way here.

When you use "Blimey" as you receive uprising news
When you defend David Haye's "Have a go spirit"
When you get every joke on Sikipedia

Regardless of it all im very happy to be British....well English really.

Jazoni89:

this isnt my name:

Jazoni89:

Yes, you are correct there.

It even makes it even more surprising that American's worship the damn woman, when us brits hate every single fibre of her being. Hell, she even stole the kiddies school milk to save some public spending. If that isn't a sign of a cold hearted bitch then i don't know what is (which got her the nickname Margaret thatcher, the milk snatcher).

I'm just glad that I wasn't in my twenties in the 80s, then I would of known about it, with all the taxes, and all the other shit that thatcher threw on young British people.

They like her ?

I find that funny. The recession is becuase of the bank, the banks are run by guys only interested in lining thier pockets. Thatcher had the bright idea to privitse them. This shit economy is her fault.

Anyone who worships her is clearly insane, or a banker.

Its funny people havent learned, now Cameron is fucking shit up. Allthough we were in a tough situaion, labour incompitence and the lib dems are spineless sellouts. Either way we we are fucked.

Yes, they are even making a movie about her life.

No, I'm not shitting you!

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=30100

With Meryl Streep as Maggie Thatcher.

...Please kill me now.

Jesus Christ America, really.

Then again didt they have some bulshit hollywood movie of William and Kate ?

You know your British when you play as a bad guy in films. (Its ther Brits or Russians)

Canid117:

Mackheath:

Nimcha:
When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

OT; You know you are British when...you have a barbecque at 10 degrees outside.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

It does exist, but its only really the extreme right wing papers-like that rag the Daily Mail- that harp on about it. No-one takes the Mail seriously anymore though, the people who believe it are the kind of morons who believe all immigrants should be picking British cornfields or slaving in our tea plantations.

LuckyClover95:

Genericjim101:

LuckyClover95:

Yup! Yarmouth fo sho.

You know you're British when you GET FREE HEALTHCARE :D
You know you're British when you have your friends, and your pub crew friends. (I'm 16 so this isn't entirely true yet, however I do have a few pub friends and I know my family certainly have friends and pub friends. :P)
You know you're British when EVERYTHING can be done with tea.
You know you're British when you've complained about the weather every month of the year.
You know you're British when (true story, saw it on the news) everyone is trying to get a holiday to Libya because 'it's cheap right now.'
You know you're British when at least 2 female teenage acquaintances are pregnant.
You know you're British when you've been drunk in a park multiple times (a young British tradition, classy aren't we.)
You know you're British when every city has one, infamous, knifing and violence road.
You know you're British when you're taking the piss out of the French ;D KIDDING GUYS

LLanidloes has all this and it's only a little village in Mid Wales... Granted every year there's a fancy dress event that has thousands of people coming to town from all over the country to get drunk when most of this happens.

I can believe that, Britian is Britain whether small village or major city.

Amazing for my friend to witness when all this happened the past weekend when he's visiting from America though X D

Even better than before:

When your food is horrible.
When you can sing Hatafutte Parade England by heart
When you hate all the French but Daft Punk
When you see Europe as some sort of cancerous growth near your country
When you consider your country as not being a part of Europe
When foreigners think your women are highly stuck up
When you mainstream tea.

this isnt my name:

Nimcha:
When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

If we were xenophobic we wouldnt have loads of foreigners and a government to spineless to talk about immigraton.

You know your British when you have an instense hatered for the name Thatcher.

Thats more Scottish than overall British, seeing as how-you know-she put our economy on the shitheap.

You know you're British when American grammar annoys you beyond repair.

this isnt my name:

Jazoni89:

this isnt my name:

They like her ?

I find that funny. The recession is becuase of the bank, the banks are run by guys only interested in lining thier pockets. Thatcher had the bright idea to privitse them. This shit economy is her fault.

Anyone who worships her is clearly insane, or a banker.

Its funny people havent learned, now Cameron is fucking shit up. Allthough we were in a tough situaion, labour incompitence and the lib dems are spineless sellouts. Either way we we are fucked.

Yes, they are even making a movie about her life.

No, I'm not shitting you!

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=30100

With Meryl Streep as Maggie Thatcher.

...Please kill me now.

Jesus Christ America, really.

Then again didt they have some bulshit hollywood movie of William and Kate ?

You know your British when you play as a bad guy in films. (Its ther Brits or Russians)

Imagine trying to market that movie in England.

O...ho, ho, ho, they are going to have more than a few problems.

It would probably gross like five pounds or something in the box office, and it would get 1% on rotten tomatoes.

JoshGod:
When this becomes a reality.
image

OH MY FUCKING GOD ...... dude .. no joke, that's my desktop wallpaper LOL

and yeah .. what he said .. also

When you're convinced that people can't spell and contantly remind yourself that there's more than 1 english (but we all know that there's only 1 REAL English XD)

When you only add capitals in fron of "England" or "Great Britain" but scotland, whales, america, russia, china, ect.. don't get one

When you think half-pints or quarter-pints are just wrong .... just ... so wrong

When you can't go 1 day without being sarcastic

Aaaand my personal favorite ... When you run out on a hot day to try to get as MUCH sun as possible on those rare sunny days .... and still complain about the weather (now it's too hot LOL)

I'm not British, so this bit of opinion is pure heresay. Take this as you will, and I concede to an actual Brit disagreeing with me...however, I imagine that a British person, and only a British person, would ever think that Cockney rhyming slang makes a single lick of sense.

Also to be clear, there is sure to be a "Not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles" situation here. All people who think Cockney rhyming slang makes a lick of sense are British, there is no one outside of the country who would ever call it sensible, making it a sure fire indication of being a Brit, but plenty of Brits don't think it makes a lick of sense. It can prove that you are British, but it can't prove that your not. That fair to say?

wooty:
....when you arrive back from holiday and within 3 hours of returning home you have some nob in a hoodie spit at you in the street for no reason.

Yes, and you know you're yorkshire when you walk away, leaving said hoodie wearing prick on the ground, twitching in the middle of the road.

OT:

Phlakes:
You know you're British when you're a FUCKING MANIAC ON THE ROAD. Seriously. I just got back from vacation in London this morning, you people are insane. It's amazing there aren't a dozen crashes at every roundabout every ten seconds.


What can I say? It's a way of life.

You know you're English when a cricket bat is your improvised weapon of choice.

Seriously, you know they make aluminium (you're also English when you say "aluminium", not "aluminum") baseball bats? They tried to do the same with cricket bats, but stopped because they destroyed the cricket balls. Have you seen a cricket ball? It's a weighty sphere of hard leather. Don't fuck with a guy holding a cricket bat.

Xanadu84:
I'm not British, so this bit of opinion is pure heresay. Take this as you will, and I concede to an actual Brit disagreeing with me...however, I imagine that a British person, and only a British person, would ever think that Cockney rhyming slang makes a single lick of sense.

Also to be clear, there is sure to be a "Not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles" situation here. All people who think Cockney rhyming slang makes a lick of sense are British, there is no one outside of the country who would ever call it sensible, making it a sure fire indication of being a Brit, but plenty of Brits don't think it makes a lick of sense. It can prove that you are British, but it can't prove that your not. That fair to say?

Cockney rhyming slang is easy.

Apples, and pears - Stairs

Dog, and bone - Phone

Pork pies - Lies

Skin, and blister - Sister

Tommy Tank - Wank

You just have to find two things related and rhyme it with another word. It was used in London as a sort of inside language, that most people wouldn't get. I would love to confuse an American with it though, that would be quite the laugh.

stu_thomo:
... you are from england :P

Well played, good sir. Well played.

OT: ...When you talk like Yahtzee?

SsilverR:

JoshGod:
When this becomes a reality.
image

OH MY FUCKING GOD ...... dude .. no joke, that's my desktop wallpaper LOL

and yeah .. what he said .. also

When you're convinced that people can't spell and contantly remind yourself that there's more than 1 english (but we all know that there's only 1 REAL English XD)

When you only add capitals in fron of "England" or "Great Britain" but scotland, whales, america, russia, china, ect.. don't get one

When you think half-pints or quarter-pints are just wrong .... just ... so wrong

When you can't go 1 day without being sarcastic

Aaaand my personal favorite ... When you run out on a hot day to try to get as MUCH sun as possible on those rare sunny days .... and still complain about the weather (now it's too hot LOL)

I love you! XD

But seriously, come to Yorkshire, where the half pint glass doesn't exist!

When "butters" does not exclusivley refer to a character on South Park.

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