Poll: It wasn't me officer! I swear!

So new forum game, you come up with a crime that the next poster has committed and you must explain the crime above you.
e.g. Find a way out of the previous crime and find the next poster guilty of something dastardly.

Rules:
Nothing too gruesome, there are children on here...somewhere
Make it as difficult as possible for the next person.
Don't be lazy, be inventive with your way out of it!

So to start;
I do not see any kind of crime, why are you even here officer?

Good day sir, and why does there appear to be a dead body in your garbage?!

It is but a intricate doll with tomato sauce on it sir.

Why is there 5 litres of bleach in your mail box?!

Its community laundry day, sir.

Why are you holding a can of gasoline and a lighter, while standing in front of a burning building?

 

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