Mall Fight (Now 70 Percent Plot Fr-You know what? Fucking forget it.)

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>Shit, Be Santa!

"I'm sure they're fine."

Isaac awakens. All three of them. There is a long silence as they read the previous posts...

"So I can legitimately indulge in my favorite hobby; talking about myself?" chuckled ManZac.

FemZac grinned, then turning serious says "Look's like there has been a timeline convergence".

"So, we still killing Diablo?" said XenoZac

"Yep" says FemZac "Once we give ourselves better names."

They all light Winfeilds. Exhaling, FemZac says "I choose Cassi, short for Cassandra."

Also exhaling, ManZac says "I choose Grape."

XenoZac tries to also exhale smoke, then realises it already has. Inhaling, it says "Why 'Grape' Grape?"

"A grape is a non-climacteric fruit that grows on the woody vines of the genus Vitis" said Grape, taking a puff. "It is a versitaile family of fruit that has many uses, can be both sweet and sour, and is seen as a symbol of sophistication and good breading. It's everything I am and more."

"Minus the sophistication" smirked Cassi.

"With a good measure of pretension" teased Grape.

I watch from a live feed as these pawns kill a decoy of me.
"So the game continues...time for the next battle...heheheAhahahahaAHAHAHAHAHA" I chuckle from from my new skyscraper LAIR towering over the Mall.
I order my men to start selling poisoned Jaffa Cakes all around the Mall.

"Goddamn fucking clones."

I look at the time.

"Oh shit! I gotta make dinner!"

I burst into the kitchen and get to work.

I set into motion a plot so convoluted my head would explode if I even began to - *Head asplode*

I destroy the plot.

CRITICAL SUCCESS!

"No plot." (Me)

I watch some people die due to my Poison Jaffa Cakes.
I start dancing in glee in my skyscraper LAIR.

I burst inside the skyscraper LAIR and promptly murder everyone in it with potted plants.

"HA! I'm on the top floor, Bitch!" I shout over the intercom as I lock down all access to my level.

I engage the skyscraper's Self-Destruct button and start running up to the top, where I rip Diablo's face off and kick him inside the crumbling building, as I surf back down into a Subway.

I land behind him and pull out a sharpened spoon.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO BUILD THAT?!" I yell as I start stabbing Martin in the groin.

"Shit, you're persistant. Also, [Screams like a little girl]"

My scream causes Diablo's entire body to melt off, as I die soon afterwards and respawn in a subway, where I get ran over by a train.

I respawn in a Thai Express.

I respawn in the mall's front section.
"Why oh why does that keep happening? I take Ages to build a LAIR, then some one just strolls up and blows it up..."
I sigh and go to look for some VODKA

The LAIR respawns.

"...yaaay..." I say I rush my to my LAIR to plot plan my next attack.

Diablo is cutoff suddenly by a yours truly. I jump straight up into the air, the coattails of my raggedy suit flailing, yet my top hat doesn't move an inch. I reach the highest point of the mall, and suddenly dive bomb down, foot first...

Right onto Diablo's head, slamming him face first into the ground with a sickening crunch.

I laugh maniacally.

"Well, well, well I'm quite liking this. It's not my usual thing, but eh, I like it."

And with that, I, the spring-heeled newcomer, bounded away towards the lair, in search of mischief.

I grab Tox and shake him violently. "You ass! Why did you start an OFFICIAL MALL FIGHT FORUM if you are just going to post here!?"

I burst out of the kitchen in my pimpin' Santa hat.

MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKERS!


"Yeah it's a day late. Who gives a shit?"

I shake Eric violently while he shakes me.

"Says the guy who posted in this thread too even thought he knew the forum existed!"

I somehow manage to throw him into the food court a few thousand miles away.

I respawn with my holographic loli. "Anyone want to have a good 'ol Christmas dinner, like we did Thanksgiving?"

"Ooh! I do!"

"Yay. Sakura, fix up a turkey. Trimmings. All of them."

"Yes, Eric-san!"

image

We sit down and eat.

I aim a RPG at the Dinner table.
"Not invite me will ya?...FUCK YOU! YOU LOLI FETISHIST!"
I fire at the table and destroy all the food.
"Totally worth the ass kicking I'm going to get...:)"

I have black soot all over my face like a Loony Toon.

"I'm not a fetishist, I'm a ped-"

I am suddenly whacked over the head by a falling turkey and I die. I respawn next to Diablo. "I can't believe you ruined our dinner. I'm gonna listen to some sweet melodies." I say as I walk to my office. "Sakura, Gorillaz."

"Yes, Eric-San."

The Stylo film plays on every surface of the Mall.

I high five the fuck out of Eric for his selection of music.

"Hellz yeah."

"Well, that went well" I say as I go back to my LAIR.

As Diablo enters I take a sip of vodka "Damn good stuff. Anyway, what have I missed?".

I suddenly appear beside Ninja. "Diablo blew up our dinner."

I jump down from the ceiling, landing in front of Draven. "Yeah, I saw that."

I exhale blue flames straight into his face.

"Reminds me of my own family's dinners."

>RaN: Get back in the kitchen.

"Guess I gotta save Christmas. Again."

I come out with the slaughterhouse and set it down on the table.

"There. Eat up."

I eat all of it.

"...What? I was hungry."

I revoke the high five, "Bastard."

I hang my head, my self esteem destroyed.

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