Mall Fight (Now 70 Percent Plot Fr-You know what? Fucking forget it.)

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I try a Disable Machine spell.

ROLLING D100...
96.
RE-ROLLING...
94.
RE-ROLLING...
56.
ADDING 155 MODIFIER...
401.
CRITICAL SUCCESS.

All of the mechas in the area are permanently disabled.

I fly out of my computer fort and high five Tox.

As Ninja begins his new career as owner of a pizza delivery franchise, I commandeer the fort in his stead.

"I'm totally not giving this back."

"He's gonna fight you for it."

I walk into the room

"Fight"

I punch Hotdog in the nose. "Shush."

I punch Eric in the nose. "No." I then throw a random bladed weapon at Holy Hotdog while drawing my Tanto.

"Pizza's here- Godamnit, I leave ye for a few hours and this happens? Ah, screw it, 2nd company deal with them".

I burst in the room and try to kick everyone's ass at the same time.

ROLLING DICE...
91.
RE-ROLLING...
93.
RE-ROLLING...
25.
ADDING 615 MODIFIER...
CRITICAL FUCKING SUCCESS!
LOCALIZATION ROLL...
62.
TARGET: ASSES.

I kick everyone's ass at the same time with a Big City Slider Station.

I look over my shoulder, and see a bunch of space marines pointing guns at me and Holy Hotdog. "We shall postpone this duel for now." I say, before doing a ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE off the ground, and into the nearest soldier. I drive my tanto through his helmet and proceed to dispatch the rest in an orderly fashion.

Roll invunerable Save: 6, Made it!

"Well I'm sorry but got to run plans to do and such".

I make my exit along with most of the Blood Ravens.

"Wipe them out from orbit!"

I take the pizza and drive off with Sakura in Cliffjumper.

"Eric-san, shouldn't we help the others?"

"They'll be fine." I reply, taking a bite of cheese pizza.

I set up an improved stronghold in an undisclosed location.

Meanwhile, In Orbit Above The Mall!


As the Blood Ravens prepare to fire, warning start playing, and alarms begin blaring as Dalek ships move into orbit.

"Daleks eh? Prep the Lascannons for the Daleks and use the lancer battries to wipe out the ships".

"Yes my lord, what of the forces in the Mall?"

"Concentrate on the Daleks for now"

The Daleks, however, open up a rift in space and time. Out flows not just the Daleks, but the Skarro Degradations. The Horde of Travesties. The Nightmare Child. The Could-Have-Been King with his army of Meanwhile's and Neverwere's.

I meanwhile, am finishing the pizza in my office.

"Oh, We're going to play it like that then? Fine."

A rift in the warp opens, and out of it arrives 2 Imperial Guard regiments and a titan.

The Nightmare Child opens it's maw and eats the Imperial Guards, while the Could've Been King blows the Titan apart.

".......What."

Sakura blinks in front of me. "Eric-san! I'm picking up weird readings from above the Mall!"

"On screen."

I see the most mindfucking horrific thing on this or any other plane.

"......What."

A gate in the warp opens up. The Red Corsairs, A renegade chapter of Chaos Marine Pirates descends on the mall, they hijack the HMV and proceed to transform it into the ultimate Tavern/spaceport.

Meanwhile the Daemon hordes backing up the the Red Corsairs Fleet make an offensive which annihilates the The Nightmare Child.

"ARRGH! WE SHALL DESTROY THE PATHETIC FORCES OF THE TIME LORDS AND OF THE DALEKS!!"

The Blood Ravens decide to let the heretics and Xenos wipe themselves out, and Retreat.

The Meanwhile's and Neverwere's sweep over the remaining forces, obliterating them utterly. They then descend upon the Mall.

I wake up. It's past one in the afternoon.

"What is wrong with me?"

I see the Meanwhile's and Neverwere's begin to descend upon The Mall. "Well, no time like the present." I say, before activating my CD cannons and firing upon them.

I start riding around in the Mall when I realize this is first post I made here, shoot myself and respawn back in the Humvee and drive around again.

I appear in Waffle's Humvee.

"Oh hi Waffles. Sow, how is yor sexx lyfe?

I slap the syntax back into Eric's mouth and say, "We have a plot again?"

I come crashing (Literally) into Waffles and Eric's conversation. "Yes, yes we do."

"Ha! Connor can't blame me on this one!"

Break his glasses.

As the Humvee drive pasts them, I jump out, throwing a pair of glasses at RaN and kicking Ldude in the face.

"Hey, Waffles, check this out."

image
Sakura suddenly appears next to us. "Hi!" she yells to Waffle.

"She's a hologram loli. Cool, huh?"

I put on my cool shades.

image

I watch as the humvee blows up. "Jegus Christ RaN, Eric and Waffles where in there!"

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