Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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The stilleto explodes, and is replaced by a sharpened stick.
"I would like to remind you of the rule that states that there are to be NO CONVENTIONAL WEAPONS" I say, before drawing my own sharpened stick. "That said, let's fight."
I lunge at Demonjazz, trying to get him in the stomach.

I do a quick evade and try to jab you in the side

I dodge a little to slowly, and get a shallow cut on my side for my trouble. I then lunge at Demonjazz again, trying to wrestle his weapon away from him.

I do a awesome flip on to a girder above and land on top of you

I rollover and stab Demonjazz in the groin.

ahhhhh man why my balls why with my last breath I curse Zoidberg

I spawn at the store of books to make large zany weapons ya found the dummies guide to making polar bear launchers and I start building

I watch Demonjazz. "It's....beautiful...." I say, looking at the polar bear launcher.

I fire the polar bear launcher at knife "That one is from the Golden Compass

"MORE BUBBLES!!" I shout as I fire another wave at demon and Knife.

Going to sleep guys bye

"Haha!" I say to Zeph, "Your bubbles are ineffective against my googles!"

I creep up on Zeph and butcher him with my bread knives.

I spawn behind Knife and snap his neck.

"Are hands conventional weapons?" (Me)

I come in "hello anybody home"

I Sneak up behind demon and stuff the bubble machine into his windpipe. "I'd say. 'It's time to wash that dirty mouth of your's.' but you didn't say anything bad. Oh well..." I shrug.

I yank it out of my throat and launch a polar bear at you

I respawn next to Eric. "Yes, of course they are." I says, before snapping my fingers and causing Erics hands to dissappear.

hhmm the old mall fight I remember was updated every minute or so what happened

I spawn in a Mattress store. I proceed to make a fort out of all the mattresses and declare myself king of the mattresses!

I find the mattress store. "Hello?" I yell. I put on my Royal Trilby (a black trilby with a crown sellotaped to it).

I walk over to Demonjazz.

"All the action moved to the official Mall Fight forum." (Me)

I peek out of the fort. "Hello! That's a nice trilby!" I say.

"Those are very nice mattresses. Can I come in?" I grin.

"...Do you have a criminal record?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes. He does." (Me)


*Spawns in the 2nd hand Sporting Goods store right across the ways from the Mattress Shop*
*Quickly scans the selection and settles on an array of gently used pitching machines*
*Points the pitching machines at the Mattress Fort and yells*

"You tyrannical rule is over. I claim this land in the name of the Wastes!!"

Fires away!

"Shut up Eric." I say. "No, I don't. GAH!" I yelp as the balls start firing.
I run over to the mattress fort and start defending it with my baseball bat.

I stand around the chaos.

"Wow, he's pretty cool." (Me)

I hit a few baseballs at Eric's face, then take some more mattresses and pillows to make a bunker.

I hide in my fort to not get hit by the incoming balls.

I shuffle my mattress bunker back to the fort and slide into it. "Hello." I say.

"Welcome to the fort! Make yourself at home." I keep guard for incoming balls.

I bring in a load of pillows and make a comfy floor. "I have a cunning plan." I say.
I cut the bottom out of one of my mattresses, and put the hole over a line of baseballs.
"It's simple, Jim. You push this forward, and then I stab whoever is shooting at us with this!" I explain, taking out my rake.

"...Where did you get that rake from? Nevermind." I grab the mattress and prepare to advance. "On your mark."

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