Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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"Gardening supplies. PUSH!" I reply, crouching behind the mattress.

I push, charging towards the sports shop.

I stab Eric in the eyes as we pass him, and then switch off the machines.
"Now, back to Fort Mattress!"

I hurry back to the fort with the mattress and get there before you, closing you off. "Before I let you in, you must fight...my greatest warrior!" I throw a pillow at you. "Fight!".

I lance the pillow.
"'kay. Done." I say.

I open the door to the fort. "Welcome...again! What brings you here?"

"Well, I need somewhere to hang and nap." I say, walking into the fort. "Also, I declared myself Baron von Hattington, so I need a place to do baron things from."

I run inside 'Big Bob's Book Bash' (Which is conviniently located next to the 2nd Hand Sport Supply shop and across from the matress store) and build myslef a book fort.

"There's not much to do here, but I guess you can stay. Do you know where I can find stuff to reinforce the fort with?"

Knife mounts the battlements of his bookfort, and calls it's twin in the martess store. "Hello, anyone there?"

I peer out of the mattress bunker. "Yes, there's someone here. And another someone. Two someones." I reply.

"hhm I claim this land to polar bears" start shooting armoured polar bears

"I'm that other someone!"

"FREEDOM!" I yell, then stab myself in the brain.
I spawn inside the polar bear and punch my way out of it.
"Fuck yeah." I say. Then I pick up the polar bear, commit suicide and respawn in Fort Mattress.
"Fuck yeah."

"...Welcome back. Do you know where I can get materials to reinforce the fort?"

I look at the disimbowled polar bear in front of my fort, then the mattress fort. "Of course you realise this means war." I say, before descending from the battlements and readying the book catapult.

I put on the bear corpse and do a dance. "Heh. Imma bear." I chuckle.

I launch a book over the battlements, hitting Trilby in the face. "Now is the TWILIGHT of you discontent!" I yell, before pelting him with more sparkly vampire fiction.

I quickly stab knife with a sharpend stick and take the book launcher "Now is um the wait let me get the right book"

I respawn in my bookfort and conk Demonjazz over the head, retriving my book catapult in the process. "Now that I have this back, would you care to help me defend the book fort here from Trilby and DJ DEnM?" I ask him.

"Why is this happening to me?!" I panic. I run into the backroom and try to find something useful.

I look at the copy of Twilight.
"I have never been so insulted in all my life!" I yell, bursting from the fort in the bearskin.

*Watches as his pitching machines get disabled and decides it might be time to find some heavy artillary*

*Yells in his best fake Brittish accent ever!* "OI! YOU WANKERS IN THAT FORT!!! Where's the food court!!"

I get Demonjazz to continue the barage of books on Trilby, and then walk over to Over. "The food court is right over there!" I say, picking him up and throwing him into Domino's.

I jump on Knife and maul him to death with the bear paws, then walk to the Domino's as well.

He you guys stop moving I'm trying to line up a shot

Is still hiding in the back of the store q_q.
"You know what?! NO!" I charge and tackle Demonjazz, and eat his face.

I spawn in the the zany store of books well might as well start building a fort of books reinforced with these pillows and steel girders with a underground system of secret tunells all made in a matter of secons

*Looks around the Domino's and grabs a rather large Pizza Cutter and chops at the air to test its balance*

"A little clumsy but we can fix that."

*Spots Trilby walking into the Domino's and eyes him warily*

"So... whatcha doing?*

I spawn in a seemingly derelict section of the mall and shout
"Hey... um... is it still cool to be here... Anyb--"
I notice a small glinting object in a trashcan which upon further inspection is a copy of the latest beyonce CD. I fashion the disc into a throat cutting implement and disappear into the shadows...

"Well, I'm feeling a bit bad after having your balls all over my body." I explain. "So I'm here for some pizza."

I respawn in my book fort and look at the DJ DEnM sized hole in the wall. "Huh." I say, before I beat him to death with a book and patch the hole in my battlements.

I hear the sound of book cracking on person. I take out my trusty hoe and run to the book fort.
I offer Knife a trilby.

I take the trilby, and wear it.

"Can I come in your fort? I can bring over an unquantifiable number of mattresses." I say.

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