I hide in my fort to not get hit by the incoming balls.
I shuffle my mattress bunker back to the fort and slide into it. "Hello." I say.
"Welcome to the fort! Make yourself at home." I keep guard for incoming balls.
I bring in a load of pillows and make a comfy floor. "I have a cunning plan." I say.
I cut the bottom out of one of my mattresses, and put the hole over a line of baseballs.
"It's simple, Jim. You push this forward, and then I stab whoever is shooting at us with this!" I explain, taking out my rake.
"...Where did you get that rake from? Nevermind." I grab the mattress and prepare to advance. "On your mark."
"Gardening supplies. PUSH!" I reply, crouching behind the mattress.
I push, charging towards the sports shop.
I stab Eric in the eyes as we pass him, and then switch off the machines.
"Now, back to Fort Mattress!"
I hurry back to the fort with the mattress and get there before you, closing you off. "Before I let you in, you must fight...my greatest warrior!" I throw a pillow at you. "Fight!".
I lance the pillow.
"'kay. Done." I say.
I open the door to the fort. "Welcome...again! What brings you here?"
"Well, I need somewhere to hang and nap." I say, walking into the fort. "Also, I declared myself Baron von Hattington, so I need a place to do baron things from."
I run inside 'Big Bob's Book Bash' (Which is conviniently located next to the 2nd Hand Sport Supply shop and across from the matress store) and build myslef a book fort.
"There's not much to do here, but I guess you can stay. Do you know where I can find stuff to reinforce the fort with?"
Knife mounts the battlements of his bookfort, and calls it's twin in the martess store. "Hello, anyone there?"
I peer out of the mattress bunker. "Yes, there's someone here. And another someone. Two someones." I reply.
"hhm I claim this land to polar bears" start shooting armoured polar bears
"I'm that other someone!"
"FREEDOM!" I yell, then stab myself in the brain.
I spawn inside the polar bear and punch my way out of it.
"Fuck yeah." I say. Then I pick up the polar bear, commit suicide and respawn in Fort Mattress.
"...Welcome back. Do you know where I can get materials to reinforce the fort?"
I look at the disimbowled polar bear in front of my fort, then the mattress fort. "Of course you realise this means war." I say, before descending from the battlements and readying the book catapult.
I put on the bear corpse and do a dance. "Heh. Imma bear." I chuckle.
I launch a book over the battlements, hitting Trilby in the face. "Now is the TWILIGHT of you discontent!" I yell, before pelting him with more sparkly vampire fiction.
I quickly stab knife with a sharpend stick and take the book launcher "Now is um the wait let me get the right book"
I respawn in my bookfort and conk Demonjazz over the head, retriving my book catapult in the process. "Now that I have this back, would you care to help me defend the book fort here from Trilby and DJ DEnM?" I ask him.
"Why is this happening to me?!" I panic. I run into the backroom and try to find something useful.
I look at the copy of Twilight.
"I have never been so insulted in all my life!" I yell, bursting from the fort in the bearskin.
*Watches as his pitching machines get disabled and decides it might be time to find some heavy artillary*
*Yells in his best fake Brittish accent ever!* "OI! YOU WANKERS IN THAT FORT!!! Where's the food court!!"
I get Demonjazz to continue the barage of books on Trilby, and then walk over to Over. "The food court is right over there!" I say, picking him up and throwing him into Domino's.
I jump on Knife and maul him to death with the bear paws, then walk to the Domino's as well.
He you guys stop moving I'm trying to line up a shot
Is still hiding in the back of the store q_q.
"You know what?! NO!" I charge and tackle Demonjazz, and eat his face.
I spawn in the the zany store of books well might as well start building a fort of books reinforced with these pillows and steel girders with a underground system of secret tunells all made in a matter of secons
*Looks around the Domino's and grabs a rather large Pizza Cutter and chops at the air to test its balance*
"A little clumsy but we can fix that."
*Spots Trilby walking into the Domino's and eyes him warily*
"So... whatcha doing?*
I spawn in a seemingly derelict section of the mall and shout
"Hey... um... is it still cool to be here... Anyb--"
I notice a small glinting object in a trashcan which upon further inspection is a copy of the latest beyonce CD. I fashion the disc into a throat cutting implement and disappear into the shadows...