Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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I then remove the knife from my chest, and before bleeding out, I use it to slit Knife's backstabbing throat :P

I respawn in an electronics store, and set about building a fort with all the computer casings.

I paddle up to Knife. "Soup broth." I say.

"Soup broth tea you brew." I respond to Trilby, before activating the automated CD cannon on my fort, which starts firing upon him and his boat.

*throws frag grenade*

I paddle away at low speed.
Incredibly low.

I steal Trilby's boat, kill him and plant the French flag in the boat. Then I make a fort with it.

((Also, fuck yea forts.))

I throw a molotov cocktail at DJ DEnM's Boatfort.

I escape before it can burn completely and lunge my arcade sword at Knife.

I respawn on Knife's shoulders. "Onwards, to battle, trusty steed!" I yell, pointing my rake at DJ.

As Trilby respawns on my shoulders, I trip, impailing Trilby with DJ DEnM's sword, and trapping him under Trilby's dead weight. I then abscond while I have the chance.

I respawn on top of DJ and start slapping him silly.

I stab Trilby again and throw his corpse at Knife.

I respawn near the rabid chinchilla pet shop.
"That seems dangerous and irresponsible." I say.
I put on my Staples Easy Armour and rush the horde.
THAT WAS EAS- THA- TH- TH- THAT WA-
I impale the last chinchilla.
THAT WAS EASY!

Goes into the nearest astrology store to grab a telescope. I tape it to my token launcher to make the "Long-range Arcadesmans +1 Token Sniper". Patent pending.

I walk over to the base of the escalator, and, seeing Over speeing down, hold a cricket bat at about head hight.

I respawn in the basketball courts.
"Oh my god!" I say,

"image"

I set it on fire with my flamethrower, which I use to incinerate Knife.

I use my new Token Sniper to shoot EricDraven square in the head with a token.

I respawn. "Eric set the fire...on fire...." I say, the resulting lack of logic causing my head to explode. I then respawn again and grab a cricket bat, I then start sneaking up on DJ DEnM.

I use the five D's of Dodgeball:
Dodge
Duck
Dip
Dive
Dodge!

In a random direction.

That random direction is straight towards me, catching me off guard. I swing my cricketbat at random, hoping to his DJ DEnM.

Knife hits me as I respawn, batting my head into DJ's head so hard it blows HIS head up.

I respawn and run after Knife with a titanium spork.

"No, not.....THE SPORK!!!!!!"
I flail my cricket bat at DJ DEnM.

I weave and bob (Boxing training helped!) and gouge Knife's left eye out, so he can see himself getting beaten by a spork.

"Agh!" I wack DJ DEnM over the head with the cricket bat.

I finish killing Knife just in time to not get knocked out from the paddling of the Cricket bat.

*stumbles in*

image

*is jumped by mall security and brutally beaten to death with a water noodle*

Fun fact, 'Mall Security' that just pounced Redlin were actually golums made from water noodles.
Now that that little tidbit of infomation is out of the way, I respawn and light the Water Noodle Golums on fire.
It dosn't do much.

*Respawns*

I need something to fight with...

*jumps into the Mall's RONA store and grabs an Adjustable Ground Spike*

image

*swings with all his might and knocks off the head of a Golumn*

I respawn.
"FOR NARNIA!"
I then charge in and start hitting golums with my cricket bat.

*finishes off last Golumn*

Why, hello there.

"Ah, a newcomer, welcome!" I say, before smashing my cricket bat over Redlin's head.

I spawn and stab Knife and wait for the newcomer to respawn.

"Hi Redlin! I've always admired you in these forums, from afar." (Me)

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