Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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I tackle EricDraven while yelling "LEEEROOOOOOY JENKINNNSSSSS". While he's on the ground I snap his neck off and plant a white flag where it was.

(Captcha: umbrella corporation. THEY DO EXIST O_o)

*Respawns and runs into hardware store again, hiding*

I follow Redlin into the hardware store. "Oh Reddie, come out and play-ay..." I call out.

I tackle Knife in hopes of reviving this topic and snap his neck.

Fortulently for me, what DJ DEnM thought was my neck was actually the ice covering it, and his snapping of it also causes the rest of the ice encasing me to shatter. I hit DJ over the head with the but of my cricket bat and run deeper into the store.

Spawn in the Hardware store, have the unfortunates to spawn in front of Knife, get stabbed by him as he runs past, respawn in the water feature in the middle of the mall.

"What the f**k was that?!"

I spawn in front of FDLinc and shoot a boxing glove arrow into his face.

I wonder how I managed to stab the newcomer with a cricket bat. While wondering this, I crash into a rack of wireless drills. I respawn, and grab the boxing glove arrow as it flys towards FDLinc.

having seen this, I grab Knife's hand, I put both our fists in the glove and pull him along enough to punch out Eric.
Sadly Knife is no-homo, so he promptly yanks his hand out and drowns me.
Respawn into a Hot Topic and start to wonder where I went wrong.

Again, I wonder why I would drown this newcomer, and not simply it him in the balls with my cricket bat. Not able to discount the posibility of alien brain slugs at play, I check myself into The Mall Hospital.

I follow Knife and chase him around the hospital dressed as Micheal Myers.

Leave the Hot Topic and head towards the guys' bathroom to look for new spawners and instead get horrified at how inaccurate the people in this mall can get.

I jump out of a stall on FDLinc and bludgeon him with a cricket bat.

After being chased around the hospitle in a series of wacky scenes set to the tune of yanky sax, I turn around and punch Eric in the face.
"How about no!" I say, refering to his current dress, "You crazy bastard of unknown ethnicity."
Seeing he's out could, I then go to the bathroom.

I wake up and toss a bomb into the hospital.

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I jump out of one of the hospitals windows in slow motion, the explosion blooming behind me.
Then gravity kicks in and I fall three stories to my death.

I laugh maniacally.

Respawn in the hospital post-explosion, start thinking my luck might not be all that bad, exit hospital and hear some maniacal laughter, I go to investigate and get crushed by the falling Knife (it's a tall hospital). I respawn next to Eric and after a brief stuggle, I throw him down a flight of stairs

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I wait at the bottom of the stairs for Eric, perpared to hit him in the face with some balled up socks I swiped from the clothing store.

I barrel into Knife, and we roll across the Mall.

I give Eric a coffee, he has had a bad day

In trying to take the coffee, I accidentally bring Evil Smurf into our ball of roll.

The coffee spills everywhere, burning everyone in the rolling ball 'o' fun.

I burst out of the Rolling Ball 'O' Fun and front-flip into Knife, causing him to crash into a stack of Jarates, causing him to die from the glass wounds.

I then vanish into the night.

I jump. Just jump. Not neccessarily move forward, but just jump. Up and down.

I respawn, and throw the final jar of Jarate at DJ DEnM.

I run frantically, crashing into Knife and falling off a conveniently placed cliff.

I follow DJ DEnM off the 'cliff', diving towards him to participate in a no doubt awesome midair battle.

I join the thread at an inopportune moment.

"Soup, bitches."

*Smashes Saltarius's head into the fence that is surrounding the balcony of the second floor*

Oh hey, I'm a not the new guy anymore!

*throws him over the edge and watches you fall 3 stories to his death*

Welcome to Mall Fight.

The part don't start till I walk in.

I walk in and a party starts. Under the cover of the party, I snap Redlin's neck.

"Why did you never join a Mall Fight I was a part of!?"

I jump Herzog and rip his ear off

"IT'S MINE NOW, BITCH."

*Respawns and goes over to a hardware store*

Oh, perfect!

*Sneaks up behind Herzog with a garden hose. Slipping and tying it around his neck, I pick him up and toss him over the edge of the balcony. I leave you hanging there limp*

Revenge!

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