Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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I grab a Strawberry Cheesecake as I await my next victim.

I eat said Strawberry Cheesecake, along with Diablo's hand.

I respawn and see Knife eating Diablo's hand. "Hey is that candy or something?"

I run over to the two and eat Diablo's other hand.

I rise up from the ground, haven eaten three more of Diablo's appendages.

Seeing that my tasty treat is under threat, I rip off Diablo's arm and start swinging it at Zeph and Eric.

I grab Eric Diablo to defend myself. He makes a wonderful meat shield.

OoC: Thanks!

"That would be-OW!--OW!--OW!" (Me)

I pull out a revolver and blast away at Knife.

I laugh as Eric's revolver explodes into millions of pieces, killing him instantly, because he didn't read the start of the thread and can't instantly spawn weapons.

I then turn Diablo around and ask him. "You ok, it looks like you could use... A HAND!!"

"Damn it! It's also a conventional weapon!" (Me)

I die and respawn in the Chuck E Cheese. I grab a water gun full of acid, come out, and spray everyone.

I continue to use Diablo as a meat shield, blocking the acid. "Damn you're handy! Even if you don't have any!!"

OoC: Whenever Diablo comes back, he probably won't be happy with me =P

He's used to it. He gets kicked around in the MF Forum so much it isn't even funny. Also,

"YOU CAN'T HIDE BEHIND IRISHMEN FOREVER, ZEP!" (Me)

"But I am Irish? Give a fellow Irishman a hand Diablo!" I shout as I throw Diablo's remains at Eric, buying time to run to the pet store.

I run after Zep, throwing away the gun.

"Damn! I can't risk animals..." (Me)

"I can." I say, before throwing several active bugbombs into the pets store. As the fumes fill the store, I light a match and chuck it in.

I run to the back of the store, opening the back door as Knife throws the bug bombs. I then jump into a giant pile of clean Cat litter, there's a sign and everything. As the bug bombs explode, the cat litter absorbs the shockwave, and resists the flames.

"Now to make a 'clean' getaway!" I say as I slip out of the Cat litter.

I respawn in the air, tackling Zep.

"That was an awful pun!" (Me)

"Which one?" I manage to whisper as Eric pins me to the ground.

"All of them. Puns are awful." (Me)

I now have Zep punned to the ground.

"Stop it, your words are crushing me!!" I scream as Eric's puns pin me to the ground. =P

I spawn in a hardware store and grab a garden hose. Rushing out to Zeph and Eric, I wrap it around both of their necks and start choking them. Zeph for the puns, Eric because it's Eric.

"...jimmy...help!..." I manage to gasp.

A small little rat scampers from one of the back backrooms and starts to gnaw at the hose.

Stops choking for a moment. "You have a rat named Jimmy?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I do now I guess, there is always at least animal in existence named 'Jimmy' that is awesome." I say.

"Oh, come on I don't even-gak-know you!" (Me)

I beat Averant over the head with a cricket bat, freeing Eric and Zeph from their choaking situation. I then beat them over the head with the cricket bat.

"Whark." I reply as my head breaks open.

I respawn in a sports shop, grab a cricket bat like knife, and a length of fishing line. I tie the fishing line to the handle of the cricket bat and rush out of the store, swinging it around my head as I aim for Knife.

"BAT AND WIRE!"[1] I yell as I swing.

Captcha: face to face.

Good to know captcha understands Mallfight.

[1] In replacement of ball and chain

I jump up and ambush Averant, pummeling him into a gory stain on the ground.

I respawn, and go to a marble slab icecream store, and get some mint chocolate chip icecream with M&Ms

I also go to Marble Slab ice-cream store, and get a chocolate fudge all the flavors, all of them. The resulting ice-cream cone stretches into the sky.

I grab Knife's icecream and shove it down his throat. The resulting brainfreeze kills him.

I respawn in a laundromat, grab some stain remover, pour it on Eric and use his face to remove my death stain.

I also respawn inside the laundromat, except inside one of the washing machine. Unable to open it from the inside, I opt to tumble around in it.

I respawn on top of the washing machine.

"Weee!" (Me)

Eric is crushed, one, because I am ROLLING around in the washing machine, and two, because of this poor grasp of said rolling washing Mashona crushing.

I respawn inside.

"Wee!" (Me)

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